Sunday, July 8, 2007

Being in sync...


Ever lost something?

Loss is an inevitable part of life. We are bound to lose, at some point in time, something or even everything. It is just the nature of loss that varies.... By nature I mean something like this:- We can lose something we actually have, or something we never had and then there is that ironic one... something you almost had before you lost it.

From where I am right now and coming from where I have been, loss appears to be a matter of timing. All loss stems from a miscalculation of something or other. We either over or under estimate something. It is simply a matter of being in sync with the object of loss... be that person, place, time or thing. When we misplace keys we are distracted (overestimation of our capacity for attention) when we lose at a sport we underestimate our opponent or overestimate our capability.

Loss in relationships, especially, is absolutely a matter of timing. Whenever we are over zealous (or under zealous) as the situation may be, we stand to destroy everything. Rush it and you could stand to spook the person, wait too long and you stand to lose them to someone else. What then, is one to do? How does one avoid the inevitable disaster?

An interesting thing happened yesterday....I was on the phone with a friend and we were watching videos on youtube. We wanted to be able to watch the same video together but due to our lack of coordination one video would nonetheless start a split second before the other. We were out of sync! My friend then hit the pause button for just an instant and it corrected the time difference. That is when it occurred me. All that was needed for us to be in sync was to pause for a moment.

I mulled over the concept in my mind and came to a realization. For the most part, the reason many of us blunder in our relationships is because we are not really in sync! We are each, so busy, following our own plan of action that we seldom see what the other person is up to or how they are reacting to our plan. We miscalculate... We over or under estimate the affection and commitment of our significant others. Sometimes we are so blinded by the intensity of our emotions that we don't even see the other person. We are merely floating along on cloud nine enjoying the high of being in love. And then we wonder what happened when we fall off that cloud unexpectedly. Then there are those, who are too scared to ever make a move and own up to the intensity of their affection... ever fearful of being made vulnerable. They hang back and would rather be friends than express that they want more.

Perhaps all that is needed in every case is to to simply allow ourselves a chance to get in sync. To simply pause for a while.... to really see the situation... as if from above. It gives one better perspective. Any outsider can assess a situation better than two emotionally involved parties. Be that outsider in your own case. Completely remove yourself from the picture and truly see the situation, as your significant other sees it. And get in sync with their rhythm! It will allow for a better outcome.

Oh and one more thing.... by all means, always be unafraid. Always take a chance. Always gamble. You could stand to lose it all.... but then you could also win all. When given an option always take the plunge... come what may. At least you will have no regret... for a move never made, for words left unsaid, for a chance never taken, for a life lived in fear.

For something you have - never take it for granted
For something you don't - never be afraid to go after it
For something you almost have - never wait too long ... make your move ...
Or you could stand to lose it..... in all three cases.

Get in sync.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Sometimes we are so blinded by the intensity of our emotions that we don't even see the other person."

...how teeroo (true)....pairi paineeyan.

Arfan said...

Thanks for helping me to make understand these tiny little things :)

Shahnaz said...

@Arfan....

Thanks for stopping by.