Sunday, July 1, 2007

Only in New York...!!!


Only in New York...

Ever a firm believer in the numerous possibilities associated with that phrase, even I was surprised on a recent trip, by what happened in a cab ride in that magnificent city. A friend and I hailed a cab to head back to our place of residence after a rather long night. On that ride we were entertained (quite unusually) by our very creative cabbie. The said gentleman (A sikh "sardar gee"!) broke the ice the minute the door to cab was shut and we were settled, by accosting my dear friend JB with the question,
"What is your relationship with the lady please?"
Needless to mention it was an unusual question and my first reaction was one of amusement and I was concocting in my head an image of a Pakistan like request from our cabbie to produce a "nikahnama" when JB responded with,
"she's just a friend..."
"Okay, ask her to close her eyes please..." requested the cabbie
At this point both JB and I were at a loss and exchanging rather helpless glances and not sure how to proceed, but since no threatening gesture had yet been made by the cabbie we played along. I shut my eyes and the cabbie then proceeded to produce a set of lovely red bangles that matched my top and presented them to JB saying ,
"Put these on her wrist please..."
(he finished every sentence with please...whoever said New Yorkers are rude has not a clue about anything!)
Very bemused and a little sheepish by now (because of our nightmare slasher/murderer cabbie stereotype imaginings of a few moments earlier) we giggled and accepted the bangles and whispered about the tip amount appropriate for such chivalry when our ever charming cabbi piped up again with,
"Now you sir close your eyes please... and put this around your neck..."
And he passed back an orange silk scarf.
We obliged and felt again a state of helplessness since being presented with bangles is one thing but now we had no clue where this was headed. We exchanged several more glances that conveyed a myriad of, I have no clue either....glances when the cabbie asked,
"What is the dear name of your lady friend?"
"Kiki!" I piped up, not wanting to give away my ethnicity by giving my real name.
The multi talented sardargee then proceeded to belt out extemporaneously, a sonnet of love devotion and courtship (that would make Shakespeare bow his head in awe...) in my honor!
JB and I were floored at this point and very worried by now due to our lack of cash to reward such attentions let alone pay for the cab ride.
"Okay close your eyes now..." continued the master of ceremonies,
Giggling hysterically I obliged, and sardargee proceeded to hand JB a ring!
"Please repeat after me" he demanded, "Will you marry me?" "Now ask the lady please!"
After exchanging very bemused and now bordering on flabbergasted glances JB proceeded (in his playacting often used in conjunction with Zuleikha, high pitched, I have no control over this situation voice)
"Dude! Will you marry me?"
Between fits of suppressed laughter and with tears running down my face I heard Sardargee continue to direct this series of events with,
"Now you please miss, say yes please.."
"Yes please!??!!...." I managed to mumble in a choke so as not to offend the sensibilities of our very revered cabbie, as well as convey a complete and utter loss of control or understanding but absolute enjoyment of this oh so WEIRD state of affairs to JB!
Both JB and I were at this point near hysterical with laughter, surprise, exhaustion, giggles and needless to say considering the events of the evening we were returning from quite a pair of shall we call it "creatures"! Sardargee continued with many tirades and more poetry and sonnets in our honor and in the New York cabbie equivalent of "by the power vested in me I now pronounce you man and wife" monologue.
"You must return the scarf to me now please so other people must use it also you see..." he apologetically admitted, "But you must keep the ring and the bangles for the happy couple!"
We asked him to take us to an ATM machine and I insisted on getting out of the cab and going with JB to get some cash (charm notwithstanding, this was after all New York and much as I admired his talent for improv weddings I trusted that cabbie not one bit!).
Anyway we got the cash, got back home, paid the cabbie a very hefty tip, returned the scarf, kept the ring and bangles and proceeded up to the second floor of the apartment building to announce our engagement? wedding? to our other friends! (How they reacted is another hysterical tale....one of many "all in a day's work in life a la Shahnaz"....

Stay posted to hear more of them!
Many giggles...
meaoooooow....

3 comments:

Unknown said...

oh my GoD !!! how did this one escape my attention...

its brilliant.. you do get a lotta funny taxi walas in uk as well... many of em being desis !!! lol ! but this has obviously neva happened :D !!!

Shahnaz said...

Sam

It is all true... I do not make this stuff up! And I still have the bangles and ring to prove it...

Come to think of it, I wonder if in some pseudo-NYcabbie universe that ceremony holds true....Hmmm JB and I may be married to each other in that universe and not even know it! :P

Unknown said...

Once again you give me a loose ball to show my geeky self but since this is your blog i would resist the temptation and spare you from being bored... hehehe

;) !