I watched her dip her wand into the bubble solution and squeal with delight as she twirled and a beautiful tubular concoction of ethereal bubbles spewed in the wake of her majestic movement. Momentarily distracted and entranced I watched, mesmerized as the bubble floated up in the gentle spring breeze- the colors of the rainbow reflecting and bouncing elegantly in the afternoon sunshine. It was a moment of exquisite beauty and serenity. A second frozen, forever in time. An eternity in limbo- trapped in the entanglement of the past, present and future. I held my breath... fearing to exhale, wanting to hold on to my meagre ration of peace.
"Look Mommy!", she cried.
I blinked. The bubble popped. The moment was lost and life continued.
9 comments:
Children are a source of great comfort and Strength at the same time.
In most of the troubled times we worry over things that are not worth being worried at all.
In such times,putting oneself in the shoes of a child is the greatest relief one can truly get.
I know because i've tried it and it really helps. :)
And you've got a lovely child.
MashAllah
How are you as a parent? The answer I'd love to hear is "Oh! I never really thought of that!" but in this day and age of obsessive "parenting" that is just about as likely as me shutting up!
I feel our generation is doing a lousy job at parenting - with our obsessive compulsive need to "do right" by our kid and hence the endless structured activities, Baby Mozart, Soccer Games, French and Piano Lessons {My tongue is firmly in cheek!)
A lot of child-rearing is fear driven, motivated by love - no denying- but fear driven: fear of harm befalling them (better safe than sorry crippling mentality), fear of not cuddling enough, fear of cuddling too much, fear of our own failure as parents (God Forbid!), fear of being a bad provider...endless fears!
My fear (pun intended) is that our insecurities being constantly transmitted to our kids, who after all are brilliantly intuitive and far more receptive to what we do as opposed to what we say, will cause them far greater harm than any of the scenarios we seek to protect them from!
This I recently read: If your kid had two friends Debbie and Angie, all other things being equal Debbie's parents kept a gun in their house and Angie's house had a swimming pool, which friend would you send your kid to? The liklihood of death by pool (1 in 11,000) versus death by gun (1 in 1 million plus) is not even close! But most parents are terrible "risk assessors" and emotions (oh! they have a gun!)dont make for objective decisions.
Actually.... I think I would still send my kid to Angie's....mmmm...I'll hold that thought!....later.
I am a terribly concerned parent. Far from being a perfect parent, (is there any such thing?) I am comforted that I do a fine job- when my kid tells me that I am the best, or that even though I mess up at times she still loves me and says that everyone makes mistakes, and yes when I am needlessly flying off the wall at the slightest thing she asks with an innocent candor, "is this your grouchy week?" (her understanding of PMS!)
And what is MOST satisfying and affirming is that she talks to me.... about what's on her mind, what troubles her, what I do that makes her mad or hurts her feelings, and together we come up with solutions and boundaries that she understands and abides by and I do not cause unnecessary damage to her budding ego by dictating my supreme will.
That said there are still days when I have a sleepless night wondering if I did my job as a parent. I suffer incessant guilt (job description of parenthood- "thou shalt suffer constant guilt!")
Violin and horseback riding at my end. I too would let my kid visit Angie.... Debbie is out of the question! However even at Angie's I'd be there... pools and little kids mix well but hawk-like supervision is required. Drop off pool play dates are not practical. (unless your kid is an excellent swimmer, and then too supervision is a must) see, guilt....
sigh...
Last night she said,
"You are the best mother a kid could have"
I said,
"You make it easy... you are the best kid any mom could have"
"I love you Mom."
"I love you darling"
So in response to your question
How am I as a parent..?
Dunno if I'm a good one or a bad one...but,
I am great as a parent!
.. this question I pretty much knew what your response would be - I knew for instance, that it would figure the word "great!" or "pretty damn good!" ......I was also clued in on the guilt/incessant worrying factor (shrug it woman!) and political leanings (by the way, have you been following Ron Paul? I know he is republican but hugely interesting! – just as I would love to see a piece on “political correctness” on your blog, I am intrigued by and would love exploring the “right size of Government”, free market vs welfare and ramifications thereof)
…I am drifting! What I sat down to ask was something quite different and quite personal. Let’s begin by saying that I am not over OMA and can never be, but this begs a question: people like myself, who see themselves trapped in an impossible situation, how would we behave if the fetters were no more? What I want to know is how do you deal with your freedom? It is an awful lot to take on! Freedom, autonomy! Both Wow! and Whoa!
I know that you have ties that bind, the overwhelming one of your kid and the significant one of your family, but essentially your life is yours. It is intriguing to me to imagine myself in such a situation! It has to be tough! I think the easier options are total bondage (like mine – self imposed or whatever – for whatever reasons) or total freedom, as in no kids, no intent whatsoever of leading an “ordinary” life! – let me digress again and explore the second option for a bit. My life’s trappings have not obtunded me to the point where I can no longer imagine, and it is quite liberating/amusing to go on flights of fancy where I imagine myself (excuse the explicit corniness) being serviced by an extremely well endowed brainless (perhaps paid) hunk or being seriously promiscuous at least for a while before I settle into anything meaningful.
Back to the point now! How do you strike any kind of balance between being a mom and a person? How does one engage in any relationship of a romantic and/or “more” nature and reconcile it practically, and more significantly emotionally, with the all consuming task of parenting – and that too as a Pakistani mom, albeit living in America?
I have my ways sista.... we need to do coffee and I'll divulge. (I btw drink milk!)
C'mon! what "ways" can a person who still drinks "milk" have? ....but we'll see, you owe me a coffee.
In the meantime let me share this:
(I cant stand people who claim to be "sensitive" but Pearl Buck is something else, a woman far ahead of her time and what a mind! I'll share a rare article of hers I have with you sometime. My father (he is no more) used to admire her but as a child/teen who gave a ---- what their dad thought ..... until I discovered her myself! (Daddy O -you da best!))
"The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: a human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive. To him, a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create - so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating."
Pearl Buck
Sista,
Even milk drinkers have their ways... hehehe....
;)
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