Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Elwin- The Ganja man

(Pictured front and center is the "Tree" under which the entire episode unfolds!)

Okay folks... my life never does cease to amaze me, especially the people I meet and the way we interact. I mean there are events in my life that seem like they were just pulled out from sitcoms! Edited, scripted and perfectly hilarious. I don't know how I end up in there but these situations are 100% true.

Let me elaborate:

I was in Geneva this summer, and one fine day I was entertaining myself because my friend had some urgent business at work that needed attending to. So I souvenir shopped by the lake, rented a boat for a couple of hours and had a generally relaxing afternoon. After returning the boat, I decided to stroll around the lake.

I followed the generic lakeside boardwalk and enjoyed the sights and smells of a charming day. As I was walking, I was accosted by a charming Swiss native who after introducing himself and inquiring about my general specifics (tourist/student/single/sigh....) offered to walk with me and give me the general specifics of the historical significance of the Jet d'eau- pictured here. He turned out to be quite a good guide actually and gave me detailed answers to all my queries about other significant landmarks that I had seen.

My feet hurt so I sat down, on a bench under the tree and Swiss man and I chatted for a little while longer. Across from us on the low wall sat a dread lock wearing Black man. Quite "cool" looking and listening intently to his Ipod and our conversation. Swiss man asked if I would like to get some coffee and I declined. The conversation drifted off and after a while, as I gazed around he made his polite farewell and walked off. Hmmm... I had just successfully evaded a random "pick-up".

I looked in front of me and caught the black guys rather bemused eye. I couldn't help smiling in return. We both gave each other a knowing nod and chuckled to ourselves and then continued to look around and enjoy the lovely weather and beautiful and serene surroundings.

"So would you like to buy some ganja?"

I was taken unawares. My instant reaction a goofy grin.

"I'm sorry.... What?"
I bought time and also clarification. I did not want a French/Caribbean accent doing tricks with me and getting me in trouble for hearing things that were not uttered. I looked him straight in the eye.

"Do you wanna buy some ganja?"

I was completely intrigued. Also completely gobsmacked! A dozen things ran through my head. He just sat back, glanced around and watched me. I felt very vulnerable. What should I say? Would I sound naive? Would he decide to follow me if thought I was a twit?

"But I'll only sell for 50 francs"

"50 francs!"

My response blurted out before I could restrain myself- yes the "poor" student in me blanched at the price of a fantastic meal in a posh restaurant/or three days groceries! Apparently it was a good response. Crap!

"It's very good stuff... high quality. You can smoke it for a week"

"I'm flying back home in two days. I don't need a week's worth."

Why the hell was I bargaining. I don't even smoke. Why wouldn't I just shut up!!! How to make my exit?

"You are funny, man... Help yourself to a beer. It's right there on the bench..."

"Thanks, but I don't drink beer."

"I don't sell it by the joint.... but I'll roll one for you."

Now I just finished my internship at a drug rehab center. I was fascinated. Of course I had no clue about half the drug lingo but in the name of research, I was very intrigued. But also very much at a loss. I needed to get the hell outta there. But how? I was by myself for the rest of the afternoon and did not want to be trailed around by a ganja man. That is, if ganja men do trail people they want to sell to or kill or mug. Yikes! Overactive imagination....
I got my wits back and decided to roll with it. I looked him square in the eye and held his gaze a moment. Then I said,

"No man, I am not buying today."

Right about then, he looked up and said

"Oh man! Be cool, be cool... The police are coming. They are checking around."

I looked over my shoulder and saw a couple of the Swiss police on walking alongside their bikes among the tourists.

He (guy) looked around very calculatedly.

"I am going to have to trust you now."

I took a deep breath. Holy Shit!! How the dickens do I extricate myself. This was getting worse by the minute.

"Okay, I am going to come and sit by you on the fence and we are going to be cool and keep on talking. Be cool now."

He came and plonked himself next to me and his beer on the bench. I closed my eyes and took a breath and opened them again. I laughed. Most inappropriate, I know but when befuddled that is what I always do. I laugh. At the situations I often find myself in. And also at myself for being at a loss...
He started talking to me. His name was Elwin. He was Caribbean. Another fellow showed by shortly. A friend of Elwin's apparently. He sat across from us where Elwin had been sitting a minute ago. They spoke some French. He also introduced himself. He was Stephen, from Burkina Faso.

"West Africa.."

I stated, at a loss for any conversation now.

"You know Burkina Faso?"

"Yes, near Mali and Sierra Leon... Benin..."

I answered trying not to think of the many ways this could end badly. Stephen was very impressed.

"I was born in Uganda."

I offered by way of explanation. They spoke some more in French and kept looking around. Finally Stephen said.

"They have gone away. So you were born in Africa, eh?"

"Yes"

"Beautiful place.." (Stephen)

"Very beautiful... and great music..." (Me)

"Do you like Bob Marley?" (Elwin)

"I love Bob Marley" (Me)

"What is your favorite song?"

(What is my favorite song? I am freakin' trying to get out of here and he wants to know my favorite song!)
"Buffalo Soldier."

And Lo and Behold! Elwin starts to sing. He has a magnificent voice I might add... and Stephen joins in. I start to smile to myself. There is nothing else to do. It is almost charming and sweet. Let me restate. This part is VERY charming and sweet and so completely weird! I laugh. I don't know what else to do.

Once done, there is some clapping from a few tourists, who have also been lounging around, close enough to hear the singing but not much else, of the rather fascinating exchange between the gentlemen and myself.

I am convinced this is my cue. I get up and offer Elwin my hand.

"Thanks for the song, but I have to meet my friend in a half hour. I best be going. It was nice meeting you."

"You're not going to stay for a while? The coppers just left. I was going to roll a joint for you and we can smoke a little. Free for you..."

"No, I really must be getting along. I wouldn't want them to get worried if I am late. But you have fun."

"You are cool! You like Bob Marley, You're born in Africa.... I like you..... You sure you don't want to stay and have a smoke with a rasta man?" (Elwin)

"Yeah... I'm sure. Take care gentlemen" (Me)(Smiling)

"You take care, African sista!" (Stephen) (winks at me!)

"Viva Africa!" (Me) (Viva Africa???) (Well what else could I say?)
"Au Revoir!" (That's better!)

And I walked off.
To meet my friend at Starbucks....
Phew!

19 comments:

sista said...

You know what? This made me think of the dude ranch post and how much I enjoyed that one. There is something about getting right into people's heads - unhibited storytelling does it so much better than meaningful, philosophizing articles.

You, Shahnaz, are a great storyteller because you forget that its 'you' writing and just think of the story, which makes for the most interesting, real and revealing writing.

PS: Why didn't you buy some ganja for 'you know who' Tsk Tsk!

Anonymous said...

I was surprised when I read the "ganja" title--but Switzerland on a graduate student's budget is actually significantly more shocking :).

Shahnaz said...

Mouse,

Not only Switzerland, but Paris and Vienna as well.... ahem.... and yes I am significantly depleted financially.

Darn! I miss the millions but not the man, sigh... does that make me shallow? But I can't possibly be shallow if despite the millions I gave up the man, now can I?

mo said...

wow

Shahnaz said...

Sista,

philosophising is the end product of inhibited stories that can not be fully divulged quite as candidly as these innocent trysts.

ahem... ;)

Anonymous said...

Millions, eh? Not that it's any of my business, but I thought it's usually profitable to divorce someone that rich?

I should have applied to the school you're in. The only way I'll get to Switzerland (in the near future) is if there is a cancer conference that my advisor thinks "merits the expense."

Shahnaz said...

mouse,

when you've paid off the attorney's
the profits all turn into losses. but the freedom is worth every penny!

Unknown said...

oh i been waitin for this since you returned... as you gave me a preview... however, i always thought the ganja man was actually gonna be some baldie... lol... how naive of me !!!

brilliant story... and geneva.. its a lovely place... very expensiv though... and even by those standards i find 50 francs to be quite expensiv...

but... what is ganja ???

Anonymous said...

lol. luved your story!!
hahaha in a foreign country with a stranger saying out the word 'ganja' somthing similar in our lingo too(for entirely different thing) LOL.

@ sami
lol, you shud know by now what ganja is!!!

mo said...

I haven't the faintest of clues what ganja is or is not, but doesn't seem like something I would approve of :)

Unknown said...

haha... mubi yaara... i didn... but now on your you-should-by-now i actually went on good ol' google and looked it up ... lol

waisay i rem da last time i was offered 'ganja'... on top of good old garhi shahu ka bridge... or was it in androon lahore... well either of the two... lol... kinda rem both of the instances... sadly i refused... both times... lol

Shahnaz said...

sam,

i never thought of "ganja" as in baldie lol. I assure you he had a head full of hair- he was quite cute actually. had it not been for the whole ganja deal he looked a little like Lenny Kravitz....

Now trust me I dig a "bad boy" but i am terrified of drug dealing types. very shifty. and who wants to end up in a Swiss prison on association charges???

I'll stick to biker dudes!

Shahnaz said...

thanks mubi! i tell you, some days i can't believe how funny my life actually is...

;)

Unknown said...

at da mo i jus hav to deal with tragic comedies... but i guess i will grow outta it !!! lol...

well... hmm... u said ganja man... and thats all you would tell me then so what can i say eh !!! lol...

and yea... gettin arrested in a foriegn land... or even in your own... is one of the worst things to happen... specially if you are innocent... !!!

bad boys eh... i class myself as one... but i am not da usual bad type... maybe thats why i don attract da masses... lol... i think geek and bad mixed do not present a very pretty picture... lol

Anonymous said...

I think I'm getting addicted to talking to this circle of people :D.

BTW, I'm not a "bad boy" at all. My friends use a Simpson's quote to describe me: "The rod up that guy's ass, must have a rod up IT'S ass."

Shahnaz said...

mo

you fuddy duddy..... eye roll.

Shahnaz said...

mouse

they are a fabulous bunch of people aren't they???? i absolutely love them. and i have gotten to know many of them rather well....

i do miss manan and the mohican though....

mohican's in pakistan on vacay. manan is just not visiting anymore....hmmmmm... i need to go find him and find out why....

brb.
;)

Unknown said...

hehe... yea.. you guys are becoming like a second family to me :) !!!

mo said...

Hehe :)