Sunday, July 13, 2008

Kitta pyar bay kadran naal tay kakhan wang rul gayan...

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Browsing my sista's blog today I stumbled upon this one. After I had sobbed over it for a while and commented on it, there were still words left to say...

...kitian kubul assa jidiya ghulamian
dil laikay day gayan sanu badnamian...

After staying up all night 'till 5 am and smelling familiar smells and sitting in remembered surroundings, talking familiar talks...from distant selves... on the drive home I couldn't help but feel familiar hurts...

...kitta pyaar bay kadran naal
tay kakhan wang rul gayan...

There is a giant rawness that will forever remain... a gaping achyness that refuses to leave... No mistakes made and still it falls to my lot that...

...chad kay zamana jinu aapna banaya si
saaday naal hans hans pyaar jinay paya si...

The distance and the indifferance is what hurts the most, simply because the memory of the closeness is such a torment...

...aaj puchda nai saada hal...
tay kakhan wangu rul gayan...

To have given it all and then lost it all for no good reason...

...unnay sadday pyaar diyan kadar na jaanian...
dil laykay day gaya athuru nishaniyan...

And though years have passed yet I can still cry at the memory is simply fucked up...

...huyyan ro ro ankhian laal...
tay kakhan wangun rul gayan...

...kitta pyaar bay kaddran naal...
tay kakhan wangun rul gayan...

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Some of the hurt lingers, longer that it should. I'd like to think one can simply wish it away, but that's probably not how it works. So meri jan, instead, come here, let me give you a hug. The rawness is what makes us only human, you so lovable, that I can pinch you and then I'll have to run, else I'm going to get wacked. We carry scars. No one sees them because they are hidden, but they are there, like earth scorched by the sun, thirsty, dried off of water. Maybe in time, love fills them up, smooths out the rough edges, and another stream covers up the cracks; the scars do stay, though they won't hurt as much. You cry because your heart is warm, because it feels, because it is alive and that's how I want it: warm, alive, feeling, passionate, caring, beating. So don't fight the tears but know that those who hurt you don't deserve the rain down your cheeks...

HUGS

[Don't have to publish, up to you, something I thought you should know. So cheer up and take care of yourself ... for me!]

Shahnaz said...

@anonymous...

okay buster you're busted!
i finally figured out who you are... better 'fess up or else...

sista said...

Shahnaz...I cannot believe it! You finally did it...

My kid sister!

proud of you...love you... :)

Shahnaz said...

@sista

darling, i miss you...

(sung to the tune of come fly with me...)
come chat with me...
come chat with me....

lol.

may the gods of blogging bless the day we stumbled upon each other!

hugs and love always

Anonymous said...

love to rashid minhas shaheed.read this

unmarked in the history of nations,
a young soul has rouse,u remember,
to rise his nation's pride,
high into skies.
he'd promised to safe guard his homeland,he abide by his words,
to let the nation feel his worth,
so he was in deep pain,
his cunning opponent had caused him,but he let his plans go in vain,
so,powerless he was,yet witty,
he made a final blow,
to crash his hijacked plane to the earth below,
he sacrificed his life, but his long lasting soul,
to carve his name among the brave forever.

Anonymous said...

do u people recognize who's the creator of these revolutuionary verses.

Chhap tilak sab cheeni ray mosay naina milaikay
Chhap tilak sab cheeni ray mosay naina milaikay
Prem bhatee ka madhva pilaikay
Matvali kar leeni ray mosay naina milaikay
Gori gori bayyan, hari hari churiyan
Bayyan pakar dhar leeni ray mosay naina milaikay
Bal bal jaaon mein toray rang rajwa
Apni see kar leeni ray mosay naina milaikay
Khusrau Nijaam kay bal bal jayyiye
Mohay Suhaagan keeni ray mosay naina milaikay
Chhap tilak sab cheeni ray mosay naina milaikay.

by the way this is in urdu

Anonymous said...

hello shahnaz, its been a looong time since i web surfed & read any blog, been very busy.
i am glad to see u r back home, how abt a post on the trip and some pics to go along with?
i understood the essence of the song not all of it but dear i wish u walk past ur hurts & overcome the spectres. the hurts of the past never go away but they can sting less with time.
the field we r both in, healthcare, sometimes i look at people & realize there r ppl out there who have bigger issues than i do. it gives me satisfaction to know i can help. some inner peace that i made a difference however small it maybe some contribution towards a better life for someone.
even though i hardly know what i wrote here ( i am post call & after 30 + hrs i am having a brain drain) ur post made me want to write back.
love & warmest of wishes. peace,
th

Anonymous said...

aww, i think you scared him away with the buster bit :)

-
mehwish

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to peel that smug look off your face, but I think you have the wrong anonymous up there. It's not me :)

Shahnaz said...

@anonymous

"smug look" hunh?
.... only a handful of people know that I had a smug look on my face....

and the plot thickens...

oh wait.... yawn.... i tire of these games....

better fess up. i'm beginning to lose interest in the intrigue. one thing you have to know about me i dig only so deep. if things wish to remain hidden, then so be it.

happy anonymity