Jealousy

Why is a woman jealous
Why does a man test her to see if she is jealous
Should she confess her jealousy
What are the repercussions of:
-the jealousy
-the confession
-the test

I threw these thoughts out there to my crew and peeps today.
This is some of what I got back

Why is a woman jealous?
-Because she cares... and/or is interested
-Because she is insecure- about losing him, about herself in comparison to the other

Why does the man test her?
-To see if she cares
-To stroke his own ego and prove that he's got it
-To make her be better by being competitive and trying to outdo the other
-To keep her attraction and interest by proving he is in demand

Should she confess to the jealousy?
-Yes! Honesty is great. No mind games... those suck
-No! He will know the weakness and weaknesses can be exploited

What are the repercussions:

Of the jealousy
-You pull away. No one likes feeling jealous...
-Anger.
-You try harder. To please...

Of the confession
-Honesty. No game playing, clarify and problem solve...
-Exploitation. He knows, and uses it to "get to you"...

Of the test
-You get to see if she cares and how much
-You get to see how she reacts
-You may lose her
-She may become suspicious and/or resentful

Why this post?
I was jealous...
I did not know why
I did not like how I felt
I walked away
I pulled away
I was resentful
I was jealous
The more jealous I got the more I acted like I did not really care
I encouraged
I tempted
I trapped a statement out of said man that just made my blood boil to hear: "Yeah I think she's hot!"
And then I was resentful
And angry
And confused
Why did I feel bad
I did not like what I felt
So I pulled away
I just pulled away
Emotionally
Where previously there had been warm fuzzies
Now there was icky stickiness
Where previously I had been energized and floaty
Now I was drained and droopy
And suspicious
All past jokes came to mind
Would he
Could he
Why did I care
I should not care
And so I pulled away some more
But yet there was something else
I was jealous because I did care
More than I thought I did
I was not even aware I cared
Where did that come from
When did that happen
How
Why
WHEN??
There was confusion
And fear
And panic
And more confusion

But back to the jealousy...
The thing with me and jealousy

I am NOT a jealous person by nature. I do not get jealous
UNLESS he is mine
And then I am VERY jealous
And possessive

BUT

I do not fight
I do not compete
I do not like how I feel when I am jealous

SO

Jealousy makes me leave
If I feel jealous
If the actions of another make me jealous
If the words of another make me jealous
If they are intentional
I pull away
I leave
I do not play games
I cannot change another
I CAN change myself