Distance...

Love this song...

Mom and Dad loved this song...
Used to listen to it all the time

"I hear the sound
Of distant drums
Far away...
Far away....
And if they call
For me to come
Then I must go
And you must stay..."

I knew it was a poignant song then...
Even as a little kid...
There was so much tenderness, loss, yearning, wanting, losing...
There was a fleeting quality to the love that we give and we share...
The need to be love, and be loved...
Yet the restlessness to need freedom and be free...
Forever torn
Between the two...

"Let's not wait...
Let's share all the time we can before it's too late
Love me now for now is all the time there may be..."

"So Mary Marry me...
Let's not wait
For the distant drums might change our wedding day
And love me now
For now is all the time there may be
If you love me Mary... Mary...
Marry me..."

Distance...
Loss
Love
Now
For now is all the time there may be...

Catalyst

I have known two souls...

In knowing them
I LOST myself
In knowing them
I began to fly
In knowing them
I came undone
In knowing them
I was
remade
reclaimed
reduced
reused
In knowing them
Was danger
Yes...
In knowing them
Was intrigue
Oh...
In knowing them
The games they played
And they played
Without remorse
They felt it too
They thought
You see...
That it was me
That played
Instead
With them
And then
When we were both
Enmeshed
Entrenched
Engrossed
We became
Envious
Of ourselves
Because
We felt
You love me more
You should love
The ME I am
Not the me that's yours
You see
We were
So entwined
We could not even see
That he was me
And I was he
And what we hated
Envied
Scorned
Was the other
US we saw
We wanted to be
Loved
And yet
We were love
And we confess
We were blind
We lost ourselves
To each other
And envy grew
Because we knew
The other cheated
On us
With us
The US that was
The us they had
That we carried
Deep inside
The US that was
Ours to keep
The us that was
Fragmented
The us that we
Stole
In the dark
Recesses
Of our minds
The little pieces
Of self we kept
Of the other
To hoard
And peek
In fleeting and
Unguarded moments
And sigh in peace
Because we felt
Here you are
I have you...
See
And
Ignorance
We did not see
We lost each other
Because
We could not
BE...
Just simply
BE...
At peace
With
YOU
With
ME
As
WE...

Tormented Soul

Take a blissful day
And turn it upside down
How do you do that?

Take in the wholeness
And make it come unravelled
How do you do that?

Take the peaceful heart
And yank it out of balance
How do you do that?

Take a serene me
And turn me inside out
How do you do that?

Trick or treat!!

So I come home yesterday to find Mrs. Smith (I adopted her and her family...) (I miss my family so I adopt entire families...)and Ambar in deep commiseration. There is a covert operation afoot and I am not privy to it. I am intrigued...

The doorbell rings a little while later and Mr. Smith and Rebbecca(my friend, their daughter...) enter bearing gifts of cookie (or supplies to make them...)!!

We have a holiday tradition. Close to Halloween we make cookies, dress up, have a ball and otherwise make pure fun!! Life seems to have overtaken me these past few weeks so I had almost forgotten this time honored tradition this year... but I was gently reminded... by my loved ones... that amid the bustle and confusion that is my life

I need to pause and smell the cookies...
I need to dress up and have a ball
I need to make memories with Bubba Jee and co
I am loved and cherished
I have family everywhere I go
Life is beautiful...from...
"One dressed up and have a ball" day...
To the next...
Life is GOOD!

Picture here
Me, Bubba Jee, Rebbecca

Congested...

Congested and weary, tired but not sleepy... ever been there?
My mind begins to play tricks on me...
When faced with the self and truth and fantasy and imagination.... the lines begin to blur...

Ever been lost
Ever been found
??

Even been whole
Ever felt fragmented
??

Ever felt like you need to have it all, want it all, BE it all....
Ever felt emotion and reason play tug of war...
??

I babble...
Darn congestion!
Darn cold!

Gardish

nigah jo uthi
nazar aya tu
HU...
main madhosh thi
boli meri ruh
HU...
hawa mein chali
ayi teri khushbu
HU...

sarak kay kinaray
ek shah betha tha
jo shahi
ko thokar
mar kay chal diya
honton pay uskay
yehi wird tha...
HU...
HU...

masoom ek nonehal
bacha dekha
jo dekh kar mujhe
muskuranay laga
uskay barbaranay main
uskay muskaranay main
wohi wird tha
HU...
HU...

asmaan may giri
main lehrati chali
main shaheen thi
kya uraan thi meri
dhalta wo suraj
rangon ki masti
sur mai thay sab
HU...
HU...

kadm bay sabar
dil ki wo khushi
kya raks-e-majnoon
nasha-e-khudi
gardish main hain
bandigee
har taraf
HU...
HU...

Luna

Light
Your fire
And gaze
Deep
Inside my soul
See the flames
That burn
In me

Onerous
Earthly shell
That cages
The spirit
Within...
I long
To be
FREE

Come
Let go
Fly
FLY!!
With me
JUMP
LEAP
And SOAR

YOU
I
Are one
Have been
Since time
Immortal
Come embrace
ME- YOU

FEEL
FEEL
Don't Think
Just FEEL
FLY
FLY
Don't think
Just LEAP

Come
Consummate
Our love
My love
LOVE
LOVE
And free
YOU-ME

It comes...

I feel it again
In my bones
A restlessness
Here it comes...

I can't be still
I need
I feel
I can't explain...

What it is
I burn
I yearn
Like a coiled spring

Wound up tight
Ready to snap
Take off
But Where?

I do not know
It comes
It comes
The restlessness

And go on I must
Move on
Run, Run...
But where I go

I do not know


I am a wanderer
A gypsy
A nomad
A flitting soul
A wisp
A wraith
A shadow
A smell
A feeling
A heartbeat
A flicker
A memory
A loss
A moment
A lifetime
A glimpse
A blink

I am a wrinkle in time...

Behold:

IT COMES!
THE RESTLESSNESS...

SHAHI....

Gustakhi ma'af
Meray AQA...
ISHQ tera haq hai
Tu SHAH hai
Tu hai awwal
Tu hi akhir...

Arzoo tu hai
Justujuu tu hai
Tu HAQ hai
Tu SHAH hai

Yeh shahi meri
Teri SHAHI hai
Woh shahi uski
Teri SHAHI hai

Woh Shah jo hai
Main Shah jo hun
Kuch bhi to nahin
Na wo hai, Na main hun

Sirf TU hai
Sirf SHAH hai
Wo ISHQ hai
Main ISHQ hun

ISHQ tera HAQ hai
ISHQ tu hai
SHAHI tu hai
SHAH tu hai

Yeh ishq
Us ka
Aur mera
ISHQ hi to hai

PLEASE>>>

Dear readers...
Many of you have asked
So I respond here...

Please do not copy the words,
Please do not write them anywhere...
They are pieces of my heart
They are my soul
I trust them to you, here

Honor them
Enjoy them
I trust you

That is all I ask of you

Let them sit here
This is my solace
This is my refuge
I write here for you

You are welcome here
I honor you here

I only ask this of you
Let them be here...

For you always
S.

Dard e dil...

Kuch likha tha main nain
Kuch likh diya us nain
Likhtay hi likhtay wo khel ban gaya

Ek khel khela tha hum nay
Kheltay hi kheltay
Wo ISHQ ban gaya

Paglay do anjanay
Lafzon ki zanjeer main
Ek bandhan likh behthay
ISHQ kar bethay

Aarzoo kya hai, Justujuu kya hai... Ay dil e nadan...

Girl....

Khamoshi...

Kibla mera
Teri shan hai
Ka'aba mera, Manzil meri
Tu hai, Tu hai

Talaash thi mujhe
Umr bhar teri
Tarasti rahi
Surat ko teri

Pukara hai tujh ko
Khamoshi may mainay
Awaz di thi
Bharay shor main

Nazar aya tu
Aaj jhalak main mujhe
Khushbu teri
Meri saans thi

Ek khich parti hai
Dil mai meray
Teri arzoo hai
Bandagi hai teri

Tu sahiban mera
Tu mehboob hai
Tu hi mera ishq
Tu mera lutf hai

Sar jhuka jo agar
To sirf teray aagay
Yeh khamoshi jo hai
Hai teray wastay

Tanhayan...

Ik soch hai man main
Kahun ya chup rahun
Jo dard hai seenain main
Bolun ya khamosh rahun
Baychaini jo ruh ki hai
Sunadun ya nahin
Arzoo jo hai zindagi
Pukarun ya tanha rahun

Kuch yaadain hain tumhari
Kuch baatain hai tumhari
Kuch sawal hain meray
Kuch khayal hain meray

Paas paas rehtay ho tum
Duur rahun main
Ya tum ko apna lun

Tanha hai jeewan

Tanha rahun main
Ya kisi ko apna lun
Tanha rahun main
Ya khud ko apna lun

Tanhai hai fitrat
Tanhai arzoo...

Tanha safar ho
Ya musaffir bana lun

Bolo kya karun...

REJECTED!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Folks,

I am sooooo sorry. In my crazy and rushed life I have committed a boo boo blunder! I selected all the comments to be published and then accidentally hit the reject button by mistake because my daughter asked me what the word "rejected" means!! (She was reading a book!)

So I hang my head in shame :(
My multitasking failure mortifies me....
Please do revisit and re- comment.
I loved the comments too....

And I am hoping you will stop by and stay a while.... and this time I will actually hit the right button!

Yours distressingly
S

GULP!

Come away with me...

Far from the maddening crowd is my solace
Wild and free as the wind...
Stolen precious few moments,
There...
Will you come away with me?

Today...

I longed today...
For the comfort of your arms around me
For the soft soothing whispered words
For that special way you hold me
That makes me melt in your embrace...

I longed today...
For your lips on mine, gentle and soft
For the taste of you, sweet and enticing
For the quickening of my pulse, the breathlessness
That happens when we kiss...

I longed today...
For the smell of you, musky warm
For the feel of your skin against my cheek
For the sound of your beating heart
That echoes in my ears when I lay my head down on your chest...

I longed today...
For you.

Wild....

Acorns falling
Lazy weekends
Watching you
Smell your smell
Taste of you
Ice cold bubbles
Non-stop babble
Smokin' Aces
Touch of skin
Me and you
Stunning moons
Chinese food
Deer Hunter
Wild Man!
Where are you...

Ana ishti "hub hub" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well my dear folks... those who have been regular followers.... do you remember the Rat's tale???

Well remember the corner store guy who was known as "Shopkeeper or some such? Who could make an EEk sound just like mine and put me to shame? Well this one is about him too. And me. And mom. This incident happened before the Rat incident.

Hab hab or Hub hub that is the question...

So it unfolded thus:

I love watermelon.... so does mumsy dearest. The thing with living in a foreign country, where you don't speak the language very well is that at times you run into glitches... everyday glitches...that is, where the daily chores such as groceries and sundries can evolve into complicated (read humiliating and hilarious anecdotes)situations.

So where was I? Oh yeah... WATERMELONS.

Anyway, we had heard what watermelon is called in Arabic. Now somewhere between the hearing of the word, the registering of the word, the recalling of the word, and the reproducing of the word.... neural pathways betrayed us.... ( I call it the executive neural center making sport with the lowly motor one).

My mom walked into the store and in a very determined manner declared,
"Ana ishti hub hub"
The store keeper blushed to high heaven.... looked particularly uncomfortable, gave us a long look, chuckled to himself and embarrassed, asked
"aish?"
Mom repeated her request, this time with a winning smile...
"Ana ishti hub hub!!!"
"Shopkeeper now turned bright red, muttered in Arabic and waved over a few more people.... (when out of options this man's solution was "the more the merrier!!")
So now we were speaking to quite an audience and my mom proceeded to make her request again,
"Ana ishti hub hub..."
Folks giggled and gossiped and looked VERY interested now. Perplexed Ami and I commiserated together and we had no clue what was up so we laughed and giggled along... tsk tsk....

Well folks, let me tell you what it is we were actually saying (unbeknownst to us of course...)

Ana ishti hub hub!
(translated from Arabic to English is...)
"I WANT LOVE LOVE!!!!!

(LOL)

Now my mother is a particularly attractive female... and while no beauty, I am no dog either. So picture if you will... two, not unattractive, females... in a corner store asking for love love!!!

Yeah.... tsk..tsk...

Completely fed up, my mom proceeded to walk very regally past the gossiping and giggling crowd of Yemeni men and women to the fruit and veggie bins behind the counter and pick out a choice watermelon and with a deliberate "thud" plop it on the counter and state, almost royally

"ANA ISHTI HUB HUB!!"

And point to the infamous and by now quite vulgar (in it's size and the attention it had generated) fruit.

The crowds hushed up. There was an uncomfortable silent tension and then a wave of mirth as the crowd guffawed with laughter and the long suffering Shopkeeper, rolled his eyes and burst into a tirade of Arabic, which included much gesturing and pointing and head shaking...

"Walahi majnun..."
"Min hada mafish hub hub..."
"Min hada HABB HABB"
!!!!
translation:
You crazy females.. this isn't called love love, the fruit is called hab hab... was all we gathered (fortunately for us that was all we gathered)

We paid for the offensive fruit and went our way amid a cacophony of mirth and much head shaking....

It was not until the next day, at dinner over at the El Sayyed's that the true awareness of our interaction emerged!!! And caused much embarrassment, laughter and mirth... for us....

Sigh....
Just one in many days of

"Life a la Shahnaz..."

Stay tuned folks!
Until next time...
Ma' As Sallama!!

TAGGED!!! AGAIN.........SIGH.... and this time it's "Guilty Pleasures"

Guilty Pleasures
(Given the nature of the tag... the disclosure is appropriately encrypted. Interpret at your own risk!)


Ten- chocolate
Nine- black
Eight- silk
Seven- salt
Six- smell
Five- smooth
Four- melt
Three- purr
Two- fast
One- now!

Zay poaygama chatu sa vay......

Translation from Pashto to English...
I can understand what you are saying!!

That was the first sentence I learned in Pashto!! My dad laughed when I asked him to teach me that.... You see it is the only one I ever need to know!

Pathans are VERY proud people and we speak our language with blatant aplomb! We also believe we are so cool! So whenever you see Pathans speaking Pashto we are thinking we are so cool, we love our language, and we are proud of who and what we are...!

So I actually perfected this one sentence to the max and every time I would be sitting close to a bunch of Pathans speaking Pashto, being cool, thinking no one could understand what they were saying.... I would after a while get up, walk upto them and very slyly state "Zay paoygama....." The reaction was instantaneous satisfaction. Their faces would pale and they would go really quiet. And I would walk away like the cool kitten I was... which is when they would break into chatter and call me back and try to explain themselves.... lol.... I would at that time confess and have a good laugh and we'd be okay. They'd ask if I was pathan. I'd say yes and VOILA!! That was it. Pathans are also very cohesive. We gel with our kind like magnets!

But that brief moment between my uttering the fatal words and the registering that their "private" conversation had been heard and understood... were just awesome!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I know I am wicked!
I am a saucy devil!
And I love it!!!

Update!!

Okay scratch the maserati....

This just in....
I am in love with the Saleen S-7!!
0-60 in under 3
capable of over 200mph
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!
$598950

PEEP it up!!!

And my super PEEP! SAM gave me a WHOLE bunch of cars today...

So folks I have decided to make PEEP "MY" word. It can be a noun, verb, adjective and adverb!!!

GO PEEPS!!!

In order

Bentley
Dodge Viper
Nissan Skyline
And lastly Ferrari (And it's silver....he got me a silver one 'cos "RED just ain't my color!!!")

Speaking of cars...

Shahnaz says:
when i'm rich and famous i want a maserati
Shahnaz says:
i am a wicked driver
Fahad !!!! says:
COOL :D
Shahnaz says:
i'm safe but i drive really fast
Fahad !!!! says:
so do i :D
Shahnaz says:
fast cars and fast bikes
Shahnaz says:
thats my rush!
Fahad !!!! says:
COOL !!!
Shahnaz says:
and horses and jumping out of planes
Fahad !!!! says:
ALAS !! i finally meet a girl who loves cars :D
Shahnaz says:
what!
Shahnaz says:
you mean most girls do not love cars
Shahnaz says:
that is just wrong!
Fahad !!!! says:
over here atleast they dont !
Fahad !!!! says:
they r more bothered about just sitting in a car
Fahad !!!! says:
rather than driving !
Shahnaz says:
i actually had to pull over by the side of the road to take a look at the new corvette!
Fahad !!!! says:
NO KIDDING :D
Fahad !!!! says:
u sound so like me now
Shahnaz says:
it was parked outside someplace and i saw it and just pulled over
Fahad !!!! says:
hahaha...
Shahnaz says:
the owner came out after a while and we chatted
Fahad !!!! says:
u know my dad is always after like me ... u have so many cars to see in oru showroom then y do u keep peekin into other showrooms to see other cars n all :D
Shahnaz says:
and he owns the showroom in the town next to mine so he told me to stop by and that he'd let me take it out for a test run
Fahad !!!! says:
WOW !!!
Shahnaz says:
IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
WICKED !!!
Shahnaz says:
ABSO freakin' LUTELY!

Fahad !!!! says:
:D:D:D
Shahnaz says:
how else was i gonna drive a corvette hunh?
Shahnaz says:
he was sweet and very cute
Shahnaz says:
green eyes!
Fahad !!!! says:
LOL
Fahad !!!! says:
i was about to ask u regardin the GREEN EYES :D:P
Shahnaz says:
well that goes without saying
Fahad !!!! says:
LOL..
Shahnaz says:
he's serbian
Fahad !!!! says:
ahan ... nice !
Shahnaz says:
so i teased him about killing all my muslim brothers in bosnia
Fahad !!!! says:
ive seen almost every serbian has got colored eyes
Shahnaz says:
he actually blushed
Shahnaz says:
they are beautiful people
Fahad !!!! says:
ahan ...
Shahnaz says:
i have a lot of albanian and bosnian friends here
Shahnaz says:
and the women are just stunning
Fahad !!!! says:
coool !
Shahnaz says:
so are the men
Fahad !!!! says:
seriously
Fahad !!!! says:
when i was back in saudia
Fahad !!!! says:
i was studyin in an academy where there were bosnians n lebanese
Fahad !!!! says:
they really were BEAUTIFUL !
Shahnaz says:
so what luxury cars do you carry that i can take out for a test spin when i visit isloo
Fahad !!!! says:
:D
Fahad !!!! says:
mercs....beemers...
Fahad !!!! says:
range rovers...
Fahad !!!! says:
land cruiser amazons n prados !
Shahnaz says:
hmmm convertibles??
Shahnaz says:
what are prados
Fahad !!!! says:
we have had the 350Zs back here...
Shahnaz says:
what's that
Fahad !!!! says:
prado is a 4*4 !!!
Fahad !!!! says:
nissan skyline 350Z ....
Shahnaz says:
i don't know car stats but i know what looks great and what rides smooth
Fahad !!!! says:
it was there in the movie Fast and The Furious : Tokyo Drift !
Shahnaz says:
i love mustangs they are real muscle cars
Fahad !!!! says:
nice car.
Fahad !!!! says:
OHH SO DO I !!!
Shahnaz says:
but they don't corner well
Fahad !!!! says:
specially the 1967 one....
Fahad !!!! says:
i know ... MUSCLE CARS never corner welll..
Shahnaz says:
european cars corner like they are on rails
Fahad !!!! says:
yeah :D
Shahnaz says:
like a porshe will be so smooth
Fahad !!!! says:
cos american muscle cars r made for a 1/4 mil race mostly ...
Fahad !!!! says:
depends on the roads u know
Shahnaz says:
porsche purrs
Shahnaz says:
you now one of my professors is a judge for the nhra
Fahad !!!! says:
like the roads in italy or switserland are smooth but too many curls u know ...
Shahnaz says:
national hot rod association
Fahad !!!! says:
COoOL !!!
Shahnaz says:
awesome woman
Fahad !!!! says:
:D
Shahnaz says:
we talk fast cars all the time
Shahnaz says:
she races too
Fahad !!!! says:
heheh i see...
Fahad !!!! says:
well no offense .. but.. drag races arent actyually races
Fahad !!!! says:
they just need u to put pedal onto the metal thats all
Fahad !!!! says:
tracks r there for racers u know
Shahnaz says:
two friends of mine own a miata and both are engineers and they tricked them up with turbo boosters and all and i drove one the other day it was red though... not my color....
Fahad !!!! says:
thats y i dont like NASCAR racing n all...
Fahad !!!! says:
COoOL :D
Shahnaz says:
that baby goes from 0-80 in 30 seconds!
Shahnaz says:
no they are not
Fahad !!!! says:
30 or 3 ?!?!!?
Fahad !!!! says:
cis 30 is way too much !
Fahad !!!! says:
cos*
Shahnaz says:
is it
Shahnaz says:
maybe it was three... i was not counting... i was just driving
Fahad !!!! says:
yes it is :D
Shahnaz says:
but we were at a stop light he and i, and i was driving and these guys pulled up on a truck and started vrooming
Fahad !!!! says:
hehehe i see...
Shahnaz says:
so i vroomed back
Fahad !!!! says:
hahahhaha
Shahnaz says:
they winked and i winked back and my friend just said don't kill the car but go for it babe...
Shahnaz says:
so i did
Fahad !!!! says:
LOL !!!!
Shahnaz says:
the truckers had no clue what hit them
Shahnaz says:
neither did my friend
Fahad !!!! says:
HAHAHHAH
Shahnaz says:
he said that i acted in a most competitive manner quite unlike my female sex!
Fahad !!!! says:
welll its easy to race back there .. but over here.. the moment u go above 60 ... beep beeep baap baap ...n then ... SIGNALS n lots n lots of them :D
Shahnaz says:
lol
Fahad !!!! says:
lol......
Shahnaz says:
so i braked really hard and he nearly flew out the windscreen
Fahad !!!! says:
hahahahhaa OMG :D
Shahnaz says:
we were on the highway
Shahnaz says:
that'll teach him to be so sexist!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
HAHAHAHA
Shahnaz says:
he got to see my wild side for a bit
Fahad !!!! says:
wel in that case i will let u take a test drive but cant take a risk while sittin along with u :D
Shahnaz says:
yeah i have a sweet little honda accord
Shahnaz says:
but i take that baby to 100
Fahad !!!! says:
hmm... n i thot u had a volkswagen golf
Shahnaz says:
y friends just close their eyes and lay back when i drive
Fahad !!!! says:
as u have that vdo on ur blog ...
Shahnaz says:
what video
Fahad !!!! says:
hahhaha... so how many times have u got a ticket ?
Shahnaz says:
what's a volkswagon golf
Shahnaz says:
actually speeding twice
Fahad !!!! says:
there was this video of TOPGEAR on your blog regardin this car volkswagen golf...
Fahad !!!! says:
hmm..
Fahad !!!! says:
u know the cousin who owns this merc... he drives like crazy u know
Shahnaz says:
but i have only actually been ticketed once
Shahnaz says:
the second time i charmed my way out of it
Fahad !!!! says:
lol.. yeha i read that story too :D
Shahnaz says:
i was going 22 over the limit and that is an instant go to jail card
Fahad !!!! says:
ohhh....
Shahnaz says:
but i must've looked innocent and lost because the copper let me go... it was a woman too and they are mean!
Fahad !!!! says:
yeah they indeed are...
Shahnaz says:
she was sweet
Fahad !!!! says:
i got a ticket when i was back in saudia .. was going at around 190 :D
Shahnaz says:
what's the volkswagon golf
Fahad !!!! says:
kph ....
Fahad !!!! says:
well it's a car...
Shahnaz says:
thats intense
Fahad !!!! says:
hatchback to be precise...
Shahnaz says:
goodness no i am so NOT a hatch back person
Fahad !!!! says:
n it is one of the most beautiful hatchbacks ... ever made... n is the best in that field of cars...
Fahad !!!! says:
welll i m not into hatchbacks as well
Fahad !!!! says:
but this one changed my mind...
Shahnaz says:
i like a slinky ride
Shahnaz says:
smooth.... sexy.... fast...!!
Fahad !!!! says:
it goes upto 240kph ....
Shahnaz says:
but is it slinky
Fahad !!!! says:
hmmm....
Fahad !!!! says:
hmmm....forget the golf then ...lets talk about mustangs :P
Fahad !!!! says:
its not dat slinky ...
Shahnaz says:
or.... then i go the other way for a complete rugged look
Fahad !!!! says:
more of a bulgy one ...
Shahnaz says:
like offroading vehicles- open top jeeps....
Fahad !!!! says:
hmmm.....
Shahnaz says:
i know i am extreme!! all the way man....
Fahad !!!! says:
WRANGLER is the best one for that purpose :D
Shahnaz says:
sigh...
Fahad !!!! says:
WRANGLER JEEP !!!
Shahnaz says:
it is a sexy truck!
Fahad !!!! says:
we had that one ... though i never got to drive it but then again ..
Fahad !!!! says:
we went from karachi to islamabad on it:D
Fahad !!!! says:
had loads n loads of fun !!
Shahnaz says:
i can't believe i am talking cars with you
Fahad !!!! says:
hahah... neither can i :D
Fahad !!!! says:
i mean i know i love cars... but to know about someone whom i admire ... ]
Shahnaz says:
i can't talk cars with many people
Fahad !!!! says:
u know there is this guy who happens to host a show regardin cars n all....
Shahnaz says:
not everyone loves cars you know....
Shahnaz says:
i love harley davidsons too
Fahad !!!! says:
i added him n u so i could talk to u regardin ur fields...
Fahad !!!! says:
n now look .. m not at all talkin to him regardin this n instead m talkin to u :D
Fahad !!!! says:
HARLEYS ROCK !!!
Shahnaz says:
i do not like sport bikes... i love cruising bikes though!
Fahad !!!! says:
hmmm
Fahad !!!! says:
well there is this one company known as ORANGE COUNTY CHOPPERS :D
Fahad !!!! says:
they make the best americans choppers !!!
Fahad !!!! says:
love their work .. paint jobs n all...
Fahad !!!! sends:

Fahad !!!! would like to share this background with you.

Fahad !!!! says:
hope m not much of a bother to u !!!
Fahad !!!! says:
cos m sure u must b busy in ur bloggin n rest of the stuff...so plzzz do let me know ...
Shahnaz says:
are you kidding i was typing up an assignment and then we are talking CARS
Fahad !!!! says:
LOL...
Fahad !!!! says:
to be frank ... i had NEVER EVER IMAGINED that i would be talkin CARS to u too :D
Fahad !!!! says:
i mean firstly i had 100000 thoughts before addin u up ...
Shahnaz says:
i type with three fingers so trust me cars are really special to get me type so much for them
Fahad !!!! says:
hahahah.... that's wonderful !!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
but u type really fast thats for sure
Shahnaz says:
100,000 thoughts
Shahnaz says:
i do.... :P i peck very efficiently!
Shahnaz says:
that's a lot of thoughts

Fahad !!!! says:
i guess i can see that !!!
Fahad !!!! says:
well when u admire someone so mcuh
Shahnaz says:
hmmmm well it's just ittle old me
Shahnaz says:
nothing special
Fahad !!!! says:
hmmm..
Fahad !!!! says:
for u that might a single drama n then a normal life thingy
Fahad !!!! says:
but for so many ppl .. it wasnt just that
Fahad !!!! says:
i mean i myself have seen only 3 dramas that i can go on watchin again n again ...
Fahad !!!! says:
1-alpha bravo charlie....2- dhuwan and the thrid being dhoop kinaray :D
Fahad !!!! says:
n then to find u on the internet ,,,,
Fahad !!!! says:
its tuff u know .... to just act NORMAL :P
Shahnaz says:
NORMAL though!
Shahnaz says:
lol
Fahad !!!! says:
lol.....
Shahnaz says:
oh goodness don't act ABNORMAL
Fahad !!!! says:
okies :D
Shahnaz says:
lol
Fahad !!!! says:
well .... atleast now that i have got a bigger circle of people who talk CARS ... so no need to go crazy :D
Shahnaz says:
i do not like yellow for cars
Fahad !!!! says:
this is not yellow...
Shahnaz says:
nor red too flashy
Shahnaz says:
what is it
Fahad !!!! says:
its white ...
Fahad !!!! says:
lights have had that weird effect on it ...
Fahad !!!! says:
cream white ....
Fahad !!!! says:
this is nissan skyline 350z by the way :)
Shahnaz says:
what? that is so not creme
Shahnaz says:
nah creme is too bland
Fahad !!!! says:
pearl white ..... to be exact !
Shahnaz says:
let me think a minute in terms of car and color....
Shahnaz says:
mustang convertible
Shahnaz says:
gun metal gray
Fahad !!!! says:
was just nto gettin the correct color name :P
Shahnaz says:
SCREAMS attitude!!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
ahh.. i love that color...
Fahad !!!! says:
have u seen that movie GONE IN 60 SECONDS ?!?!!?
Shahnaz says:
ya haH!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
that was the day when i feel in love with the STANG :D
Shahnaz says:
that mustang was B. E. A. U. TIFul
Fahad !!!! says:
fell*
Fahad !!!! says:
that was the ONE n ONLY 1967 ford mustang GT 500 :D
Shahnaz says:
awesome car
Fahad !!!! says:
n i want CRAZY when they crush it up so badly
Shahnaz says:
i just drooled and imagined myself behind the wheel.... woo hoo!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
i was like DUDE !!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ..GIVE IT TO ME !!!
Shahnaz says:
such a rush!
Fahad !!!! says:
YES :D
Fahad !!!! says:
n i love DODGE !!!
Shahnaz says:
ohh the VIPER
Fahad !!!! says:
SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET MACHINE !!!
Shahnaz says:
!!
Fahad !!!! says:
especially the HENNESSEY 800tt !!!
Shahnaz says:
those should always be black!
Fahad !!!! says:
YES !!!
Shahnaz says:
have you seen the spyder
Shahnaz says:
i forget what company makes them
Fahad !!!! says:
maserati spyder ?!
Shahnaz says:
spyder is a maserati
Shahnaz says:
???
Fahad !!!! says:
yes ...
Shahnaz says:
that was another one i stopped to look at
Fahad !!!! says:
there is this ferrari modena spyder too !!
Fahad !!!! says:
:P...
Shahnaz says:
hmmm dunno which one it was
Shahnaz says:
it was awesome
Fahad !!!! says:
okies...
Shahnaz says:
i was waking downtown on my way to lunch and saw it outside a restaurant
Shahnaz says:
awesome
Fahad !!!! says:
unfortunately maseratis arent available over here
Shahnaz says:
stunning!!!
Shahnaz says:
it was black and sleek... if it could have spoken to me it would have PURRRRRRRRRED!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
hmm... thats maserati for sure then :D
Shahnaz says:
i knew exactly what dress i would wear and what heels when i stepped out from the drivers side!!
Fahad !!!! says:
its a sister hood company of FERRARI u know !!!
Shahnaz says:
it was a good moment
Fahad !!!! says:
indeed !!!
Fahad !!!! says:
welll the one i love the most is FERRARI F430 !!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
i would sell my house for it ..
Fahad !!!! says:
i mean the car is SOMETHING !!!
Shahnaz says:
i would sell my soul!!
Fahad !!!! says:
lol ... now you're talking :D
Shahnaz says:
i saw a teal colored ferari (used) for sale
Fahad !!!! says:
how much ?!
Shahnaz says:
it was like $25000
Fahad !!!! says:
hmmm...
Fahad !!!! says:
is it still for sale !?!?:D
Shahnaz says:
i debated buying it
Shahnaz says:
forget retirement account
Fahad !!!! says:
hmmm...NICE !!!
Fahad !!!! says:
LOL !!!
Shahnaz says:
then i called my dad
Shahnaz says:
and asked him
Shahnaz says:
he told my mom i was thinking about it
Shahnaz says:
she called and lectured
Shahnaz says:
dad called and said marry my business partner's son and he can buy it for you
Shahnaz says:
lol
Fahad !!!! says:
haahhahahaha
Fahad !!!! says:
u know i have this dream wich m sure wil come true .... for sure Insha'Allah that even if i had to wait for a whole life to buy a ferrari .... will for surely do that u know !!!
Shahnaz says:
me too
Shahnaz says:
i kow i'm getting one
Fahad !!!! says:
hmm...
Shahnaz says:
that's why i say
Fahad !!!! says:
COOOL !!!
Shahnaz says:
"when i'm rich and famous"
Shahnaz says:
not if
Fahad !!!! says:
does that guy have a sister ?!?!:P
Shahnaz says:
he does
Shahnaz says:
FIFI
Fahad !!!! says:
LOVELY NAME !!!
Shahnaz says:
it's fatima
Shahnaz says:
fifi
Fahad !!!! says:
ive already got a crush on it :P
Shahnaz says:
it's her nick
Fahad !!!! says:
lol....
Fahad !!!! says:
well... i dont wanna take shortcuts of such kind
Shahnaz says:
me either
Fahad !!!! says:
that's y i would wait for a whole life... cos that's worth even more !
Shahnaz says:
i want to get my own damn car
Fahad !!!! says:
yeah so do i !
Shahnaz says:
although if dad's buying i won't say no
Shahnaz says:
but dad is the only man who can buy me stuff
Fahad !!!! says:
cos money can buy u a car... either by hook or by crook .. but when u OWN sumthin .. that is just a PRICELESS MOMENT u know :D
Shahnaz says:
well
Fahad !!!! says:
ahan .. nice...
Shahnaz says:
like i say dad can buy it for me :P
Fahad !!!! says:
hahahha....
Shahnaz says:
lol
Fahad !!!! says:
well in that case i already have a car...
Fahad !!!! says:
but ... its a toyota corolla :P
Shahnaz says:
i have no pride when it comes to my dad
Fahad !!!! says:
u know how the PATHANS back here love the toyota family :D
Shahnaz says:
i once bought jimmy choos for 1500 and then panicked and called dad and said don't tell ami but you just bought me 1500 dollar jimmy choos
Shahnaz says:
i am pathan
Shahnaz says:
so is my dad
Shahnaz says:
lol
Shahnaz says:
btw my dad is into cars too
Fahad !!!! says:
WOW !!!
Shahnaz says:
when we were younger he owned merc, citreon, jeep
Fahad !!!! says:
i know u r a pathan :)
Shahnaz says:
he got the really funky ones
Fahad !!!! says:
COoL !!!
Shahnaz says:
yeah the citreon was real funky
Fahad !!!! says:
lol...
Shahnaz says:
it took a while to get up off the ground
Fahad !!!! says:
i have never liked the CITROEN !!
Shahnaz says:
bentley was what we kept the longest time
Fahad !!!! says:
they have always got that TOY kinda look u know !!
Fahad !!!! says:
:-O
Shahnaz says:
i hate that chrysler came up with the bentley rip offf
Fahad !!!! says:
i love bentley !!
Fahad !!!! says:
ohh u mean the chrysler 300c !
Shahnaz says:
my dad looked regal in the bentley
Fahad !!!! says:
yeah ... bentley is for the ELITE CLASS u know !
Shahnaz says:
he would wear these armani suits and he looked tres chic
Fahad !!!! says:
COOL !!!
Shahnaz says:
he was a shar dresse
Shahnaz says:
now he is a malang banda
Fahad !!!! says:
lol... howcome ?
Shahnaz says:
he has outgrown the flashy phase
Fahad !!!! says:
hmm.. nice :D
Shahnaz says:
it means nothing to him
Shahnaz says:
it is
Shahnaz says:
he has a sunnati beard and he has not a care about how he looks but he still has a wicked sense of fun
Shahnaz says:
love my dad
Fahad !!!! says:
that's nice to hear :D
Shahnaz says:
it is.....
Fahad !!!! says:
hope he gets well soon !!!
Shahnaz says:
me too
Shahnaz says:
it's hard being far away from my family
Fahad !!!! says:
then we'll all talk about cars :D
Fahad !!!! says:
will have a car blog :D:P
Shahnaz says:
we should!
Fahad !!!! says:
yeah iknow ... !!
Fahad !!!! says:
i mean just a thought of gettin away from my family freaks me out
Shahnaz says:
i should post this
Shahnaz says:
lol
Shahnaz says:
regarding cars
Fahad !!!! says:
specially after watchin this movie (TAARE ZAMEEN PAR) of another person i admire the most AAMIR KHAN
Fahad !!!! says:
lol.....
Shahnaz says:
i have not seen that
Shahnaz says:
but someone recommended it
Fahad !!!! says:
ahh u should watch it
Shahnaz says:
send me taht pic
Fahad !!!! says:
which one ?
Fahad !!!! says:
:S
Shahnaz says:
the one in the window
Shahnaz says:
i'm going to post this conversation
Shahnaz says:
with your permission of course
Fahad !!!! says:
the one in wich u thought ive got a beer in it :P
Shahnaz says:
yeah hahaha lol
Fahad !!!! says:
u dont need to ask permission ... please....
Fahad !!!! says:
just order :P
Shahnaz says:
i so do
Fahad !!!! says:
ok m sendin it to u then
Shahnaz says:
it is your privacy dude
Shahnaz says:
it is so great to chat cars
Shahnaz says:
fast cars rock!
Shahnaz says:
car conversations rock!

Fahad !!!! says:
m like an open book:)
Shahnaz says:
me too.. lol
Fahad !!!! says:
i dont keep stuff to myself u know ...
Fahad !!!! says:
i get stomach aches if i do that :D
Fahad !!!! says:
u know the worst part is ...
Fahad !!!! says:
my sisters dont like em tellin them stuf that has ahppened to me n all :D
Shahnaz says:
well my real deep self only real close to me folks know
Fahad !!!! says:
so they r all like OH GREAT he must've see/done sumthin n now we r to listen to it :P
Shahnaz says:
but my blog gets pretty close to many things but by no means ALL things!
Shahnaz says:
lol
Fahad !!!! says:
lol..
Fahad !!!! says:
ofcourse !
Shahnaz says:
yeah you the talker then hunh
Fahad !!!! says:
hahaha yeah ...
Fahad !!!! says:
theat'
Shahnaz says:
folks go "eye roll" here he comes.... quick lets go hide hehehehe....
Fahad !!!! says:
u know m not so sure whwther u would agree or not
Fahad !!!! says:
but u have so many thigs in common ..with me
Fahad !!!! says:
HAHAHAHAH
Shahnaz says:
i know i am a HUGE talker
Fahad !!!! says:
n my frnds r like
Shahnaz says:
my brother was so happy once when i got laryngitis!
Fahad !!!! says:
faddy ( dats the nick name they ahve given me ) plzz u can talk anaythign except cars :D
Shahnaz says:
i could not talk for two days
Shahnaz says:
no voice
Shahnaz says:
he loved it!
Fahad !!!! says:
lol....he sounds so like my sisters :D
Shahnaz says:
why ruin a good thing?
Shahnaz says:
CARS .... fast cars are AWESOME!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
yeha ...
Shahnaz says:
nah he flies fighter planes
Shahnaz says:
he is a real thing
Shahnaz says:
imagine the rush
Fahad !!!! says:
whenevr i hang out with my frnds n i see sum car .. they go like faddy is kay specs batao is ka chassis number kitni fuel peeti hia:P
Shahnaz says:
fast cars
Fahad !!!! says:
:|
Fahad !!!! says:
fast cars would b like SNAILS to him :P
Shahnaz says:
imagine fighter planes
Shahnaz says:
they are
Fahad !!!! says:
WOW !!!
Shahnaz says:
lol i know
Fahad !!!! says:
that's even more AWESOME !!!
Shahnaz says:
my bro is super cool
Shahnaz says:
love him to death
Fahad !!!! says:
now that's a super duper family u got Masha'Allah !!!
Shahnaz says:
i sure have a fantastic family
Shahnaz says:
they are my solid rock support!
Fahad !!!! says:
indeed they r !!! :D
Shahnaz says:
well faddy me dear
Shahnaz says:
me best be off...
Fahad !!!! says:
yeah i was about to sya the same
Fahad !!!! says:
as i have my university tomorrow
Fahad !!!! says:
:0
Fahad !!!! says:
:)
Shahnaz says:
bubba jee just challenged me to parcheezi and i have to go beat her at it
Shahnaz says:
(at least try!!)
Shahnaz says:
i never win with her....
Fahad !!!! says:
it was justa PRICELESS conversation that i have evr had with anyone :D
Shahnaz says:
bye
Fahad !!!! says:
:)
Fahad !!!! says:
bye !!!
Shahnaz says:
:)

Ba-Kak!!

So folks....

Get this! My little darling daughter is a RIOT!!!

She collects feathers see... and well she was at her riding lesson the other day (horses and riding are a passion for both of us)(Just an FYI I did fabulous on my two foot jump course today BTW, and Scarlet- the horse was just beautiful and totally awesome!!)But anyway back to the feathers...

Cindy the instructor, has goats and chickens in addition to the horses on her farm.

SO my little one sees a feather she likes in the chicken coop. Now the little kids love to go collect eggs from the chicken coop. (Me on the other hand, I would not be caught dead near those chickens). (The other day Cindy wanted my help in gathering the chickens that had escaped from the coop..... so Meena (one of the riders I ride with) and I were designated to shoo them back into the pen. Problem was they terrified me and I swear that the rooster had a murderous look in his red eye! He charged me more than once and I fled halfway down the farm with him in close pursuit and Meena and Cindy yelling instructions while doubled over with laughter. I did not think it was funny!!!!!)

But back to Bubba jee... So she sees a feather she likes in the chicken coop while she is collecting eggs. The only problem is that the feather is still attached to the chicken! Did that faze her? Not one bit. The determined little woman sits down close to the chicken and very deliberately PLUCKS the said feather out of the chicken's tail!!!!


"Mommy, it(chicken) went Ba-Kak!!! and then ended up squishing the egg it was sitting on!"
she relates to me in the car.

"The yolk of the egg looked gross and slimy and it(chicken) waddled away really fast"

I do a double take and give her a quick glance in the rear view mirror. She is sitting content and happy all buckled up in her car seat and in her hand is her trophy.

One long white feather!

She gives it a stroke and then tells me that she started posting on her horse today and that she did her first jump.

"Isn't it pretty, Mommy?" she asks as she holds up the feather for my inspection in the rear view mirror....

"It went Ba-kak!!!" I say

"Yeah, it was very loud!" she adds....

"That's an awesome feather!" I state. It is. It was plucked from the maw of danger... well the ahem, "hind end", of danger.....

"Were you scared?" I ask

"No. I just put one hand gently on it's back and then quickly pulled it out from it's tail and it went Ba-Kak! and waddled away"....

Ladies and gentlemen....
My daughter....
Mighty huntress....

"It went Ba-Kak!!" I state and chuckle to myself as I turn into my driveway....

Shout Out for Calm

YOU GO GIRL!!!

Thanks Manan for reminding. Calm got the ball rolling and did it! I have put my phone off the hook because I need to go to bed. So friends who read this forgive me... we shall chat on the morrow.

Good Night!
Shahnaz has left the building!

I am humbled....

So I am really not getting any sleep tonight!

LOL....

It is now 3:00 am here in my neck of the woods and the phone has not stopped ringing. I guess it was sort of a double whammy that the Nadia Khan show did their feature on ABC and that the US Weekly article/interview came out on the same day!

I feel humbled by the outpouring of love, admiration, affection and high regard. I am moved. I am touched. I am honored.

And I am so humbled...

I guess I just want to say THANK YOU.... so much.... for this. For all of this. I could not even in my wildest dreams have imagined that people cared... SO MUCH!!!!
It brings tears to my eyes. I am just another ordinary person and this feels surreal...


TO ALL THE ABC FANS-
I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!
GIANT HUGS!
YOU ARE AWESOME!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO OVERWHELMED!!!!!
THANKS PEEPS!

And yes, here's the link to the US Weekly interview...


This one's dedicated to all you fans out there

I sound SQUEAKY!!! ??!!!

So while I'm still up...it's close to 2:00am here...

I just got through with the Nadia Khan show thingie and like 10 seconds later Qasim calls. Nadia Khan did not know who Qasim was... I guess he is better known as Gul Sher. To me He's Qasim and a great friend. So anyway he calls and we laugh over good old days and then we laugh over Faraz losing his hair... I know, I know, that is NOT funny, but Qasim and I always teased Faraz about it. Quite frankly it makes him look dignified.

I had been trying to get a hold of Qasim earlier regardng the show, but for some reason was not able to do so because his cell phone was not responding. He informs me though, that he would not have been able to participate because being in the army he needs to have proper protocol and permission from his superiors etc.... He did say to say hello to all his fans, so HELLO from Qasim folks!

He and I used to have tons of fun during the recording of the show and have managed to stay very close friends ever since. In the same flavor as many yesterdays Qasim says,
"Shahnaz call them (the TV station) right now and tell them that you have heard from me and that I send my regards".

So I try to dial the number that I got the call in to the interview/show from, and fail miserably. We have a giggle over that and then the hotel scene with Faraz comes up and we talk about how much fun we had that night recording. Qasim and I had recorded our scene before Faraz and my scene and I remember we were starving because it was one whole night of recording!!! With no food in sight. Imagine that! One of those, water water everywhere but not a drop to drink. That was a restaurant scene after all. They were not open for business! We went out for breakfast after....

Well, Qasim had to hang up because his mom was calling from Peshawar... but he says,
"I'll call back..."

Knowing him he probably does not realize it is 1:00am here at my end!!! He never does realize that. He usually wakes me up when he calls at 2:00 in the morning all happy and fresh while I groggily say,
"Yaaaaaar! Raat kay do bajj rahay hain!!!"

While I am typing this, loyal blog follower Fahad messages me on facebook and says,
"hey shahnaz it's me Fahad... ur blog follower :-D ....
plzz do add me up ..
just heard u on Nadia Khan Show ... u sounded just like u used to ... though ur voice seemed a little squeaky but then again ... LOVED IT :-D !!!
tee cee..njoy !!!"

I sound squeaky!!??? Fahad, me dear man... it is 1:00 am here...lol, I have been eating nutella nonstop while waiting for the show to call. Of course I sound squeaky! I have to go run 4 miles tomorrow and work out and then go ride my beautiful Scarlett over a two foot jump course ( I love Fridays!!!!!). I'll be happy if squeaky is all I am tomorrow....

But now I am obsessing... did I sound squeaky?

So anyway... back to ruminating...
Qasim is in Pindi and will be dropping in to see my mom in Isloo tonight. I wish I was there. I remember the old days when Qasim would drive me home after the shoots (it was usually one of the guys... him, Faraz, Abdullah or Maj. Atif Yad Ali) and we would sit and chat and have tea after. I'll miss that tonight.....

So anyway, I'm having a very nostalgic moment. And oh look!
Qasim must be done talking with his mom, 'cos it's him calling...

Well Adios peeps!
Until next time....
And yes Qasim says Hi!!!!

PEEPS!!!

PEEPS!!

Update:

STILL no TV!!! I am so tired of it... I am living in my kitchen and my butt hurts from watching TV on my li'l kitchen TV while sitting on my kitchen chairs!

I miss my leather recliner in the TV room. I sprawl on the rug in the kitchen but it just isn't the same! (I said kitchen too many times...) KITCHEN!!!

Sam, Hasan, Fahad, Ugghani....all peeps!! Send me links, thinks, and everything in between. Budget is as cheap as I can get (big money is for shoes... or should i say, Choos- Jimmy Choos to be exact!)this is just a TV! I am cheap when it comes to that. A fabulous pair of Jimmy Choos on the other hand is worth every penny!

Bizzaro world on cyberspace...

Okay so get this....

My e mail account was hacked and held hostage for the past several days! I mean, I'd type in my password and nothing would happen. The darn system would not let me in. My first thought was that something is messed up with my computer (me being tech challenged and all...) but then I tried changing my password and nothing... secret question and nothing and every other trick that could possibly be tried... I tried to no avail.

I was perplexed, mystified, befuddled and obfuscated! And that was not even the weird part yet...

So I log onto facebook and I have this cryptic message from one "Clock Stoppers" on facebook and it goes something like, ..."don't worry about your messed up e mail, it will be okay in a few days..."

I did a double take and instantly replied something to the effect of, "who the heck is this and how do you know about my e mail... have i been hacked?" (have I been hacked? of course I'd been hacked! what an idiot!)anyway, the next day it gets weirder and weirder....

In my facebook inbox, yeah... my facebook inbox I see e mails from my msn inbox. Said hijacker/hacker had copy/pasted important messages that required my attention!!!
I mean he is some freakozoid from cyberwhatever but he is a considerate??? freakozoid!!!!

It gets worse... read on....

So now I go beserk! Ahan... I am a hysterical mess... wondering what the heck is going on. I feel violated and victimized. If the kook is sending me my important e mails, he's reading my e mail too. That is PRIVATE STUFF!!!! So I vent a tirade of frustration, anger, distress, hysterics... his way and in ending in my most British Marmishness... I state in a most hoity toity manner that said freakkook should be "ashamed of him/herself!!" (that'll show him... feh!)

Now get this...

He replies that he is ashamed and that I don't need to rub it in and that if I would only be patient things would get fixed.

PATIENT???
PATIENT!!!!
HE WANTS ME TO BE PATIENT!!!!

What a load of fart!

This is my private freakin' e mail and the goose wants me to be patient! So I am feeling EXTREMELY icky now. Some total stranger is elbow deep in my e mail. I love my e mail. I archive it. I save it. I reread the meaningful and important ones. I have some very personal ones in there and one in particular, a poem that a very dear friend wrote to me on valentine's day.... the best valentine I ever got.... that is in there....and now I am ROYALLY PISSED!

To top it off I am a NICE PERSON! I do not visciously go about intruding on other peole's rights, privacy and space and expect the same. I tell said goose so. And assert that if they knew me they would not victimize me so. They reply, I don't want to know you! You may be a world celebrity and a psychologist and all....

EGAD!!!!! and ACK!!!!
Me? World Celebrity? Psychologist??
I am NO celebrity, and am not a psychologist!!!

So then... by now I begin to tire and feel helpless. In empathizing with the freak, I think well they did send me my e mail... so I send a little Thank You for the e mail message... and then feel like I am succumbing to Stockholme's Syndrome.... and get myself all worked up again!

By now, the goose sends me a message to the effect off, "people like you should know better..."

People like me?
Who are people like me??
I ask why? What is wrong with me? I am a perfectly fine person... I am nice and likable even... I feel a funny coming on..... so I see the humor and I laugh.... If I did not laugh I'd have to at the very least sob! LAughing is more pleasant so I choose that....but I ask, what are people like me...

Apparently, the cretin thinks that people like me aka celebrities and psychologists... we deal with freaks and geeks all day so we should be more tolerant... cretin insists that it is a compliment and that an dmirable quality of mine is being admired.

Now I feel like a goose. HONK!! WHAT?? I am stuck in bizzaro world!!! My e mail hijacker/hacker is actually complimenting me... by hacking my e mail?

This is really messed up.

I begin to tire of it. Like I've often stated. I get bored easily. I detest being controlled and manipulated and this is beginning to stink of all of the above!!!

So I state very politely, "you know... you're gonna do what you're gonna do! so go ahead..." and that's that. I am DONE!!!

NO more.

See I am the kind of person if I was held at gunpoint (and I have been....)(another story... I'll blog about it too...) I would NOT turn over my wallet. I'd say shoot! BEcause I'd NOT let someone control me... (Of course the problem is, I'd also probably end up dead)(but what the heck... i'd get my hooras in heaven!)(incidently someone told me that the hoors are only for the males- females don't get hoors!!! we just get our hubbies!!!!!! GASP! what? the hubby-or in my case the ex... gulp!!!!)(i know, right??!!)(so if someone has insight into this please inform me.. i am most disturbed! i want my hooras too!)

Anyway... so I am thinking.... I have done battle with monkeys!! (true story!! I swear it!!!)(that too shall be blogged about!)(ahem... soon!)and I have karate chopped muggers (also true! and coming soon also!!!)so what the dickens is a hacker??

HAHA!!

I EAT HACKERS FOR DINNER!
I GOBBLE THEM UP!
I FEE
I FO
I FUM!

I Laugh...

I know...sigh... what else am I going to do right?

I sigh...

I think...

Well monsigneur goose will do what they'll do!
I have no control over it.
So this is what I do...

I take a deep breath and I let it go!

Que sera sera...
Whatever will be will be...
I will not be controlled and harrassed....
so there.
And I click me machine shut!

And what d'you know!!
My e mail is back on. Freakozoid sends me a new password. Their IP address is from the UK... hmmmmmm......

But really... get a life goose! And leave mine alone....
PS: I named them CASH.... I figured Cash is a pretty unisex name right... could be male or female and I have no clue what the gender of said hacker is/was.... so I named them CASH!!

Sheesh!
The craziest things happen to me...
I kid you not!
Insane....

Giant hugs for SAM!!!

Sam me dear... you the man!

So folks here's what happened. I got my daughter her first ipod for Eid. She came home from her dad's place and asked to see her present. I knew i was getting her the ipod. I just did not have the physical ipod.... so i told her, "Well it's a 3-D present really but you get it on paper..." she looks at me funny. "Give it to me anyway Mom!" says she. So I get up, scribble 'ipod' on a piece of paper, fold it up and give it to her.

She looks at me VERY funny now. Almost worried I think, wondering if her mom is actually going to give her something for Eid after all. She gives me one more look and then proceeds to open the paper. "Ooohhhhh!" she states. "I just need your help finding you the right one" I offer by way of explanation. "You see... there's different kinds and sizes and colors and all.... so you can help me pick it out!"
She is content.

Today, I ventured forth to get the darn gadget. I hate gadget and electronics shopping... you know that. Well we do the Kumon (math enrichment program) trip, and a quick stop at Mickey Dee's... I am by then starting to feel nervous about the upcoming trip to (sigh) Circuit City with the Shrimpy fella and his judging looks!

"Bubba jee"....
"Yes Mom..."
"Can we make a quick stop at Hobby Lobby?"
"What? They sell ipods too?"
"No no sweetheart... I want to get some new canvas for painting..."
"Now Mommy, you know you get carried away at Hobby Lobby! You see other stuff and you get excited and then you buy everything... and it takes forever and then you are tired and then you want to go home... I think we should go to get my ipod first..."
(sigh)(my kid knows me to well...)
"Okay.... We'll go to Circuit City..."

So we get the ipod and bring it home.
I don't own an ipod. I never have. She loves it! Trouble is I need to set it up. I am online fumbling through the whole set up phase when who should log on but my man SAM!!!

Yay!!

He talks me through the whole thing. With Ambar, reading out his instructions and interspersing it with encouragement (you can do it mommy!) We get it done! I have a happy head bopper bouncing around my home today. And she looks so cute!

Later as we are cuddling I say, "Sorry your mom is tech-challenged!"
"So's dad" she says....
"Well maybe you wont be, Bubba Jee!"
"I know I won't..."
"Yay then!"
"But we did it kiddo!"
"Actually mom, Homer did it!"
I laugh... "Yeah! Homer was a life saver today!"

So HOMER... you the man!
Thanks a bunch!
Giant hugs...

ACK!!!! help..........

CALLING ALL MY TECHIE PEEPS!!!

This is NOT a fire drill.
It is time.
I NEED you!!

My TV just died... sigh... and I went out looking to buy a new one with My pal Rebbecca in tow. To all those familiar with my $3500 laptop purchase (!!!) (I blame it on the cute green eyed sales guy- who BTW kept inquiring if I was a gamer [ i could be a gamer] and if I was going to be using it to edit movies [movies is my middle name, thinks i...]and whether I needed to work with large quantity data processing [i do social science research- of course i need to process large quantities of data!]...sigh.... i now have a VERY high tech, super computer that i use to blog and photo shop, e mail and facebook from...!!! and i have no clue how to work any of the other "stuff... and fluff") Super sigh... it is the memory of those beautiful eyes that makes it bearable...

But

I digress...

There is the issue of my TV. I need a new one. I went out to buy one the other day... at Circuit City... same place I bought my digi camera... remember .... anyway... who should I see but the same sales guy. Shrimpy fellow... very knowledgeable about techie stuff. (Rebbecca wanders off to go snooze on the comfy couch in front of the magnificently large Screen). Shrimpy he eyes me from afar... he recognizes me, I can tell. He comes over. He half smiles- half chuckles and inquires what I am in the market for. I gulp and tell him,
"My TV died..."
"My condolences..." he offers
I see the teasing mirth in his (not quite so) sincere eyes...
"I need a new one" I state..
"I'm sure" he responds
"I don't know much about them..." I confess
"Oh I believe you" he says much too quickly
"So the thing is..." I start
"Why don't you tell me what's out there?"
"Sure" he takes a breath and we begin...
There are Sony's, Panasonic's, Magnavox's, AKAI's, Sanyo's, LCDs, Plasma's (isn't that a blood component????) My mind is spinning...

I decide on a Sony. Problem is my DVD player is a Panasonic. I express my dilemma to the dude. He does not seem to understand...
"They won't match." I state flatly.
"What won't match?" (dude)
"My TV and DVD player" (me)
"Oh they can still work with each other. They are still compatible. The company doesn't make a difference..." (dude)
"I understand that... but they won't match!" (me)
"I don't get it." (dude)
"You see, the TV will be a Sony and the DVD player and Sound system will be a Panasonic.. It won't match.." (me)

He finally gets it. He looks at me funny, but he understands my meaning... I start to feel very out of place here, but decide to plunge forth without calling JB in a panic to ask him to HELP ME!!!!

We finally find a Panasonic to my liking. It's silver...
"So??" (dude)
"You see..." I hesitate...
"You like it?" (dude)
"Yes... but..." (me)
"But..."(dude)
"(sigh) it's silver..." (me)
"Let me guess- The other stuff isn't silver?" (dude)
"Exactly!" (me) (very enthusiastically... elated that he understands... oh wait... no he doesn't... wait a minute... that is sarcasm i detect... !! ... sigh...)
"Do you have silver DVD players...?" I ask tentatively...
He looks at me hard to see if I'm kidding.
"Will you be looking at silver Surround sound too?" "We have a real deal on them and they're Panasonic..." (dude)

I begin to feel funny in my tummy...

But I go along... We finally find the perfect match. Panasonic. Silver Finish. TV(LCD). DVD(Blue Ray)(whatever that is... sounds like a sting ray... fish? ... oooooohhh sushi would be great for lunch!!!.... focus Shahnaz!) Surround sound system with two sub-woofers (it barks!!??).... He does up the numbers.... $$$$$$... ka-ching! ka-ching!...

My friend Rebbecca strolls by to see if I'm doing okay. Excitedly I show her what I intend to buy... She does the math in her head and then pulls me aside...

"Shahnaz, hon...."(her)
"Yeah"(me)
"Remember how you always tell me to be straight with you..."(her)
"Yeah"(me)
"Well... you see... you have a DVD player and Speakers... you came to get a TV!"(her)
"Yeah"(me)
"Snickerdoodles!!!"(me)
"Yeah" (her)
"DUDE!!"(me)
"I need to get out of here" (me)
"Umm Hmm..." (her)

We leave. Me in a daze... panasonyvox... blood-cells and barking speaker... daze....

"You okay?"(her)
"I need a new TV!" (me)
"I Know" (her)
"My TV died!!" (me)
"I know, hon.. I know...." (her)
"I'm hungry" (me)
"Me too... lunch?" (her)
"OOOhhhhh oooooohhhh SUSHI!!??" (me)
"Sushi sounds good!" (her)
"We should probably bury my dead TV" (me)(chuckling... :P)
"You make me laugh!" (her)(laughing)
"I know... I can't help it..." (me)(laughing)
"It's the "ness" you know... the "Shahnaz-ness"..." (me) (laughing!)
"I agree. I love your "ness"!" (her)(laughing also)
"I still need a TV" (me) (very seriously)
"You still need one" (her) (also very seriously)
"We'll look...after we bury the old one...." (me)
"And eat" (her)
"We do need sustenance to stay strong. Sushi! Blue (sting) Ray Sushi! Sushi that barks! (sub woofs!! to be exact!) and has Plasma!" (me)

Lots of laughter... (me and her)



I still need a TV!!!!


I need help!

HELP!!

gulp!

One small step for man... one giant leap for mankind..

Intrigue
seduction
power
and
more...

imagination
fantasy
imagery
and
me...

curiosity
temptation
challenges
and
you...

one small step for man
one giant leap for mankind!

the gauntlet is down
anticipation quite high
entrapment complete
so tell me
dear sir...
do you want to dance?
or...
do you want to dance

Eid Saeed

Day in day out
I rushed about...
Day in day out
Without a doubt...

Time went by
I watched it fly...
Time went by
While here I lie...

The seasons turn
I grow and learn...
The seasons turn
For HIM I yearn...

Tomorrow then
I said each day...
Tomorrow then
I hope I may...

HE watches me...
Buzzing like a bee
HE watches me
Hoping I will see...

This world is frivolous
We may think it fabulous...
This world is frivolous
It is so ridiculous...

Yet I fettered on
Like an endless yawn...
Yet I fettered on
And now I see it's dawn...

I lay my tired head down
HE watched without a frown...
I lay my tired head down
In my last, my final gown...

To HIM I returned
HIS head will he turn...
To HIM I returned
For HIS look I yearn

Take me in!
Take me in!
Take me in!
Take me in!

I supplicate.
I beg.
I pray.

I squandered life.
I went astray.

But here I am.
Yes here I am.

It's me!
Dear GOD...
It's me
I say...

Take me in...
Take me in...
Take me in...
I pray...


(One of my favorite Nasheed... It has inspired me in some of my highest and lowest times)