LOL!!!!

Some days even I have a hard time believing my life! I kid you not...

So picture this:

Mom was leaving to travel back to Pakistan today. We had company over and were running just a tad bit late.... But we get to the airport in time and amid the fluster of getting bags out of the trunk (her suitcase was overweight... I knew it. I mentioned it. She said it wasn't. I kept my peace but muttered under my breath!!)finding quarters for the parking meter and making it inside I was completely unprepared for what occurred next....

We get to the United counter. The lady was on the phone and so she called over "John" to assist. Now John was completely sweet and nice. He gave us a quick look over, took mom's tix and proceeded to inquire where she was headed, you know, the regular chit chat. And then it started.

John says, "Going to Pakistan? hmmmm... Islamabad? Why would you want to leave?"
And then he glances my way. I chuckle and respond, "I agree." Why not just stay longer hunh, mom?"
John looks at mom and says, "So do you have a son in law? Is that why you are leaving? Because you don't have a son in law!"

Now for those familiar with my mom and her constant mission to see me mated (please read my "Rishta's" post!)you can understand my panic through which I blurted out to John...

"Oh please don't encourage her... it's a long story!" (Me)
"Ahh... so that IS why you're leaving... you don't have a son in law!" (John)
"I don't!" (Mom) (and she looks at me Very pointedly)
"Well you got a daughter... I'll marry her!!" (John)

I am NOT kidding! He said that. I was floored and for once in my life, completely at a loss for words! I did what I do best when confounded into silence. I giggled and blushed (now blushing is not something I do very often!) and giggled and then I laughed and just looked at my mom with a, "now you've gone and done it!" look.

Now mom just does nothing, no reaction at all. So while all this is going on he is printing her boarding cards and wrapping up the confounded golf clubs that my brother called and insisted she bring (last minute too!) and taking great care to do it right in plastic and bubble wrap and tape and fragile stickers.

"So I notice there is no ring on that hand..." (John)

I stick my left hand deep into my coat pocket!! And I think by now there is quite a number of people on either side and behind us... all very bemusedly observing- quite shamelessly I might add. At a loss for words I laugh some more and look very uncomfortable (Where the heck is my wit? And what sort of a comeback is to be made in such an instance??)

Mom meanwhile seems to have tuned everything out. She is deeply concerned that the clubs get done right and insists on more 'Fragile' stickers (John happily obliges) until the darn package looks like a Jolly "Fragile" Red and white Driver and 9 iron Santa!!!

"Now if there was a son in law, you would not be in a rush to leave would you?"

(Mom mutters under her breath- and yet both myself and John catch it)
"If there was a son in law I would dance in the streets all night!!!!" (Mom)

-SEE!! Do you see what I deal with!!! Desi Parents!! There needs to be a support group in place to help us survive them!!!

I blush to high heaven...(again I NEVER blush, but this just gets worse and worse...) John looks over just as the pink hits my ears- I can FEEL the blush spread and John, well, he laughs out loud! I look at him and then look away, by now completely humiliated. I lug the stupid heavy suitcase onto the scale and hide my face for a second while doing that!

So her bag is overweight! John makes a few suggestions. The suitcase is opened. Some heavy stuff removed. And I gratefully take the opportunity to walk to my car to deposit said hefty items and hence get away from what is turning out to be quite a situation!

I return. Things are almost done and I cautiously approach. Mom has her boarding cards in hand and due to past experience looks to John and enquires about a white
I-94 exit form on her passport.

"Don't you need to detach this?" (Mom)
"Hmmm... I'm not sure, but let's find out!" (John) (and he proceeds to call in the troops to help. Troops arrive. Said form is detached and stapled to her port of exit- Washington DC, boarding card. Some more conversation ensues... The troop winks our way and badda bing badda bam! We are done!)

Mom proceeds to start putting her things away and that is when it happens!
John looks at me and says,
"So we're having dinner right?"
(Stunned look!!) (Me)
(Huge chuckle...) (United Troops)
(Blush) (Me)
(Complete indifference and deeply engrossed in sorting her travel documents...) (MOM!!!)
(At a loss!) (Me)
(Interested giggle) (Someone behind me)

"So I'm dead serious..." (John)
(evidently!) (ME)
"I'm a nice guy..." (John)
"Oh no.... I'm sure you are!" (Me)
"So it's done then!" (John)
"Let me do this right, I would love to take you out to dinner. May I have your number and give you call?" (John) (Pulls out a piece of paper and a comically huge pen) (It's funny but my facial expression is probably one of consternation at the size of that pen! It is like one that my daughter has that she bought at her book fair!!)

I am sorta in a bind now. What to do? I look at mom who very conveniently is busy sorting out her stuff!! Sheesh....

I reach over and take the pen and jot down my digits.

John looks them over and enquires when is a good time to call... I mumble late evening... and then sort of make my way to the security check with mom, not daring to glance back!

Give mom a hug goodbye and wait while she makes her way through security clearance. Several passengers go past and give me a huge grin. I am afraid to guess if they were those standing behind me while the whole John situation evolved or whether they just think I'm cute.

A tall, sharply dressed, green eyed man walks past and gives me a huge smile.... my heart skips a beat! (He's cute and hey I have a weakness for green eyed men!)

Once past the initial check point and in line for the x ray scanners he stops and looks at me and says,

"So will you see me off too?"(green eyed, sharply dressed, cute man!)
I smile... "Sure" I say...
"That smile just makes the trip worth while..."(green eyed man!)
(What a day! I think..)
"Yeah.. a smile does help I guess..." I mumble...
"No, YOUR smile does..." (Cute green eyed man!)
"Oh!" I giggle again... (I am such a ninny!!)(WTF was my brain and witty banter??)
What a day!

I see mom get past the security. I blow her a huge kiss and wave goodbye... and then scurry out of there...

What a day, what a day... all in Life a la Shahnaz!