rebound>crash>burn----

What does it mean to REBOUND???

The fact that we take all the baggage and pain from a past relationship and decide that never again will we ever be treated like that or allow ourselves to feel like that again. I know I have been there...

The problem arises when we get into another relationship and it all comes back. Minor issues that we would not otherwise react to, or pick a battle over become defining moments. We are reminded of how we felt when we were poorly treated in the past and we make a stand to not put up with it. Whereas the present relationship is merely going over a speed-bump- it appears to be a mountain. And right there and then we take all the anger that is justifiably the ex's and project it onto the new person. We see the ex in the new person constantly. Every similar feeling that is aroused makes us view the hapless newcomer with suspicion. But is it really the new person's fault? Or is it our own unfinished business? Is it the fact that it is our feeling...?

And what of LOVE???
That stupid, ridiculous, amazing, incredible, helplessness??
What is one to do with that? It happens when it will, with whom it will, and there is no control over it whatsoever...
I am torn between wanting to call the person in love lucky and doomed....

And then there is DEATH!!!
The inevitable end to everything... life, relationships, friendships, love....
It all goes to waste in the end.
I was faced with it all today.
I was in it all today.

I WAS IT ALL TODAY!!!!

And what do I have left to show for it? Nothing....absolutely nothing except these three words- rebound>crash>burn....

Ironically someone I once called a friend asked me for three words today.
Ironically I talked about death in supervision today.
Ironically I was calling love when death called today.
Ironically I have neither love nor death today...

Ironically.... while I am shaken to my very core and while every fibre of my being has been betrayed, defeated, let down, brought to the ground today...

I was given my due of understanding and peace today- my little daughter, beautiful child, when I finally made it to pick her up...shaken and trembling with the tear stains dried on my cheeks... she took one look at me and then looked closer into my eyes as if she saw something... recognized a pain so deep that she must respect with the dignity of silence. She hugged me close. She stayed quiet... When we got to the car, she said-

"Mommy, you look very beautiful today... as if you know all of life today>.."

And I burst into tears at that little angel's perception. After I had taken a shower to wash away the fakeness of the world and attended to my prayer of thanks to my creator- my SHAH...

I came down to make dinner- she stepped up to me and said,
"I want to give you a gift...."
"What is it?" I asked
"It's a sentence." she said
"Tell me..." I asked
"The strong person stands up for them-self- The stronger person stands up for others..." she stated in a voice beyond her years...

My heart cracked open and what was left of it evaporated toward the heavens...
I shall be stronger and stand for others today. I shall take the high road and move on today. I shall forgive and forget today...
I shall be undone today....