And so I sat in his office
A little late
A little lost
A lot confused
And somewhat found
And it came up
Yet again
The old hurt
The same old pain
It caught me off guard
And I teared up
As I struggled to hold it all back
And yet let go--
How long?
How long...
HOW LONG--
Shall the old pain last
The old ache-
Shake
And Break
And take
My breath away???
How long?
Shall the heart seek approval
Recognition
Acceptance
Unconditional love
How long?
How long...
HOW LONG---
I asked
Out loud
In silence
In thought
In words
How long?
How long...
HOW LONG---
And even as I asked
I knew-
As long
AS LONG!
As it takes...
I shall sit with it
I shall BE with it
I shall feel it
I shall grieve it
I shall give it
All that it takes
All that it takes...
As long as it takes
Whatever it takes
And then
One day
I shall be free of it
That is how long
I shall take
How far
I shall go
How high
I shall soar
When...
One day-
ONE DAY!
After all
I shall be healed
I shall be whole
I shall be free
Of it all
How long?
As long
As it takes
As long as it takes...
9 comments:
Shahnaz, its human nature that we can forget good times but not the hard ones. We forget Allah in times of happiness and recall him when surrounded by pains. Tough memories are not forgotten easily. As you said in the past that time is the detergent that washes away everything. I agree to your statement to some extent. But I object too... sometimes it doesn't. This is why you get lost in the past. Same is the case with every human being (a normal and caring soul). There are some exceptions and they don't care and don't bother. They are either tough or ruthless people. May you always smile!
I am lost... what are you talking about in this (and for that matter, all the other poems)... which office? who's approval? what are we talking about in the first person here....:S
Another nice piece Shahnaz!
I love it.
You can publish a couple of poetry books now. :)
GOD bless you.
Mr.Right Val96
Eternity...SAK...eternity...u never get rid of it..sometime, somewhere,somehow an event a face a whisper a laughter reminds u ov some1 n it all comes back rushing in swiftly....wow...isnt it a sweet feeling????Oxymoron....sometimes it even fills u with rage...and then it fades away n u say ahhhhhhh so i got rid of it atlast, n then from somewhere it just surfaces somehow, may u try with ur life to stop it but it does creep in....I c u as if some one sees someone in absolute silence from miles following in his footsteps trying to cope up with miles which he had coped up years back...with nothig to say.... shhhhhhhh.....give up gal...just give up.....dnt ruin urself...Do u know the difference in ur miles n mine??? i treaded those in silence....in lonliness...shut myself for everything in life... strange this luv is gal strange it is....... u did nt deserve it...wat i say to myself repeatedly u did not.... but thats how it goes... i really feel so low abt it...keep urself together gal n turn back..just break the shackles there is nothig in it....now dont say "U did not!!!!" but thats wat i am n how i am...u cant be me gal n thats y i say u dont know me lollllzzzz.....apna khiyal rakho n get settled doors r open by u just look around as posted by some1....relieve me of this agony of seeing u in this way....not much left of life gal not much left of life....dont get angry...coz really i can put myself in ur shoes coz i know urz but u dont know mine in totality.....if some day u come c me u would certainly realize that u never knew me...come on gal dont question it...really i assure u..u know me as ur lover n not as a person.....lollllzzzz...oye tum us tarhan ki ho jis tarhan ka mien tha saalon pehley......lolllllzzzz....anyway gal just chillll n reconcile... hurt urself no more.... captivations of desires lead u no where n u have just one life to live job which u do is a blessing....healing the minds....keep doing it... its too tough to live with a guilt that u could not do a thing for people dying in ur arms n around u... there r things worst even... so look at those people as well who live with those kind of guilts....n know that there would be more times like that...Allah Keep U in His eternal Mercy n Blessings Ameen
Luv..Mr.Right Val96
After reading your blog, I have to agree with Faisal Riaz. I am going through the same situation of being stuck in the Past because certain people were ruthless and indifferent, moreover, they were able to move on. I am not sure, how will I ever help myself but I know that slowly and gradually i am working towards inner peace with my own effort , rather than depending on those people who hurt and leave.
On this note, most of your blogs are very healing and helpful. In times of weakness, I usually read your blogs and feel much better :)
yaar ye maajra kya hai.. Mr Right ko 21 topon kaa salute.. intense
omg,after readin most of ur blogs,i cant stop cryin,i have been through so much in my life and still try hard to cope with but ur lucky in many ways,u have a supportin ami and lots o friends, well try to look others who been forced to live life pathetic and have no ways to quit.
go ahead....decide...freedom is just couple of steps away.
Hi shahnaz dear i m saima ur new Blog reader....Dear u know what i have joined ur blog in order to know qbout ur memories while shooting ABC(ALPHA BRAVO CHARLIE)...because this is the source through which Pakistani people knows u
so i m waiting for ur new post on memories of ABC
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