I was in love once...
And I made plans.
I planned a life with him.
I talked for hours and I thought for longer...
I planned events.
With him- and by myself, in my head
I planned to attend a friend's wedding with him.
And when we broke up
I cried an ocean.
I drove in search of him one night.
I chased a dream...
In vain-
And I was still defeated
At the end of it all.
When her wedding invitation showed up in the mail a month later, it felt like a brick wall had landed on me. I was reminded of that plan. I was reminded of him. And "him" was no longer there. I sat and looked at the invitation a long time. And I cried a long time. I wanted it all.
The fairytale...
Time went by.
Memories came and went.
Disillusionment.
People
Places
Things
And then new life
Rekindled
In unexpected places
In unknown ways
I was reborn
I was comforted
I was found
After being lost
I found myself
I wiped away my tears
And I walked on...
And then that day came
Her wedding day
And I got dressed up
And I went
And attended
The event
I had planned
To attend with him...
I went alone
I had a ball
I smiled
I laughed
I learned
This picture was taken right after her mehndi- I stand in front of a painting that I had painted, to represent our love... I am laughing and my eyes are closed. I am blissfully happy and content with me and where I am. I look like the face in my painting. The painting hangs in my bedroom.
It is a beautiful painting. I realized I loved the painting still. It represents not "our" love, but "my" love. It represents my hope to be loved back that same way. That is "my" face in the painting. That is "my" love in the painting. That is "my" dream. That is "my" lovesong. And one day I will find the person who can sing it in "my" heart and hear it in his...
Yes-
Life is a series of events, timing, memories and now.
And I love my now.
I cherish the events.
I wait for the timing...
I treasure my memories.
But I live for now.
I changed the title of this one from "lovesong" to
"MY" lovesong-
9 comments:
i remember this painting...
i remember you showin it to me
i remember telling you how it seems like two people embracing...
i remember you then... :)
and i m happy for you... the happy you that is now :)
big hugs!
feelings, feelings everywhere!!
I guess the key to survive is to keep the epiphanies coming :D
I am really glad to read the last few lines of this post because there u have shown the strength of your mind and heart.
People comes in our life, play their part and then go away. We should have to realize that they have played their part and as it is our life therefore we have to play till the end....no matter what happens
amazing shahnaz..
from dreams woven by a soft soul...
torn and then embedded again.. with injured fingers now...
this is my story actually..
and i see it coming true in your painting
you look great and im happy for the LIFE... that you have chosen.. not every one does :)
much love to our inspiration.
amazing shahnaz...
from dreams worn by a soft heart,torn and then embedded again by fragile fingers... this is my story actually.. i see it coming to life in your painting.. you have the courage to LIVE again... :)
when given a choice and chance , not every one does that,
so i am smiling today for my inspiration :) shahnaz.
much love
"i will find a person who will love me back.....Sing the song back"
MR.Right Val96
Loved it --- the post is beautiful :)
hi..hello..first of all...em a big big fan of urz...from the tym whn alpha bravo charlie waz released..2day i came to know tht u r carrying on with ur blog..so i joined it..n enjoyin ur all of the blogz..best of luck...tcz...byz..
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