your face when i closed my eyes
you lips when i breathed in
your love when my heart beat
and i let the music take me away
i gave in to the pull
i knew the consequence
but the honey of the memory of you was so intoxicating
the yearning for what used to be, so divine
it sucked me within
and i felt the rip tide
ration and logic stooped to caution
emotion tore free
and then it hit
like a tidal wave
the yearning and the pain
suffocating
i could not breathe
and it felt...blissful
this gasping, aching, tug
i succumbed
ready to perish in the throes of it
if only i could pass like this
in my mind the image of you-me
entwined in passion
love- like it should be made
completely lost in each other
YOU the only one i have done that with
and so it came and so i drown
reaching out to grasp
at glassy surface-even as i slip...
so i can hold on
and not give in
to the temptation to reach out
to you
in vain...
____________
tidal wave
crashed down
on me
10 comments:
Your sentiment reminds me of this:
http://www.monadnock.net/poems/eloisa.html
Someone of your choice. I don't know what to say. You did what was best for you. One thing I know is that you can't turn back the clock.
Sitaron se aagae jahan aur bhi hain ;)
Can I ask you something Shahnaz?
Why is it that before we meet a guy, we are totally pain-free, we are able to live without the guy because we havent met them but then when they become a part of our lives, a part of us and then then leave...how do we let go? Why cannot we let go of them? Why cannot we move on without them?
Do you believe there is someone out there for everyone? Do you believe in destiny? Do you believe God has already destined for us to be with someone? How do we find that special someone? And when we do, how do we know that they are the right one?
amna- sigh... eloisa to abelard...
it does go that way, does it not? i did and it is, and who knows of whether it was right or wrong? who knows anything for that matter except the two of us..he and i and then too he know of him and i know of me... and that is all the truth that we will ever have.
for my part i love him and that is all i know. and for my part i miss him and that is all i know. and for my part i hurt-i did in his presence at times and i do in his absence at times. I hurt and i caused him pain just like he did me...
and even though it's said and done, i love the man and will not hear him spoken ill of... for no one knows what was between he and i. so yes
it is just so and it is and that is neither here nor there and it simply is...
marie
we can move on without them. we do move on without them.
it just hurts and we still love... but we do without. we do without the love. we do without the man. some days are easier than others.
when people enter our lives, the time they spend with us is like woven fabric. it is a part of out make up. they are a part of our make up. they cannot be removed and unwoven from us. our past cannot be erased though we wish it would... i know i have wished that for my memories of him to be erased- in times of excruciating pain, i have wished that so that i may have a brief respite, from the ache.
i don't know if we are destined for someone. i hope we are. i know that i have loved deep and each time i have loved it has been a deeper experience. so i have to believe that if each love was deeper than the last one, then yes there is that someone whom you will love completely- with all that you have in you to give... you will never know how much you can give and how much you can love unless you meet that person, because they will hold the key that unlocks that in you. you alone cannot give it. someone alone cannot get that out of you. it is the combination of that unit of the two of you- the unique combination of you two- the chemistry of it that makes the magic.
people would want to be with me because they see how i love him and they think if they are with me they can have me that way- they cannot. and the same for him. people see how much he loves me and they think if they are with him they can be loved by him that way but they cannot. what is given and received is because of the unique combination of he and i and it cannot be recreated unless both he and i are there...
so yes i believe
that there is someone out there with whom you will unlock the greatest love you will ever feel and ever make and ever have...
but is there any way of knowing if you have that one? i don't know... you think you do. you think you have it, but does that mean if it ends it was the wrong one? or does it mean that if it ends you lost the right one? i don't know. i just know that i love- and some days that is all i know.
It is in our relationships with others that we come to feel, most of all, that thing called ghaib. We can never know the truth about another person no matter how much we want to delve into their soul and to look at them from every angle. Perhaps, the truth is that they do not know their entire truth, and we don't know our own. Praise the unseen!
Too deep, Shahnaz!! But I understood...and I can relate...and you are right...
You gave me a perspective, today. So today, I can see
Amna - wise words..!!
amna
we are all seekers- of our own self. our own ghaib... we look into the eyes of others so that we can see more of us and see ourselves more clearly...
we turn to others when what we seek is a deeper understanding of our own self.
our life is lived in our own minds...
marie
ever been lost?
ever been blind?
ever closed your eyes and dreamed in the wrong arms, of being in the right arms...?
ever understood?
ever forgiven?
ever run from you just to realize you follow you and you bring you everywhere you go?
???
Shahnaz -
My 'me' always follows me around. it haunts me, it taunts me and it follows...I tell it to stop following me but it clings onto me like my own skin...it gets the better of me...it reminds me of my weaknesses, my pains and my losses....yes...its always with me and follows me wherever I go.....I push it away but the truth is it defines the being I am and it accepts me just the way I am...so I let it follow me...
Ever been lost? - Many times than I can describe...I lost myself to the extent I didnt even know who was I anymore......one defining moment was when I went against my own morals (which I fought hard against throughout my life) but ended up getting tattoed, my belly pierced and got pissed on the same day...!! Alas.!! i was definitely lost...!! Sometimes we crave the unknown and indulge in all the rights and all the wrongs just to make sure we dont miss out on anything. Ive lost myself so many times and im still looking for the 'pieces' to make me whole.
Ever been blind? Yup, when people 'make' me see something thats not me and I cant see anything else so I follow the dark path and let it lead me where it needs to be led as I am too blind to open my eyes and actually see whats right in front of me. I tend to miss the 'key part' and see and act upon something totally different..
ever closed your eyes and dreamed in the wrong arms, of being in the right arms...? - Oh honey, every night....the arms is a source of comfort but as is told in the song I receommended you, 'when I close my eyes, the greatest story told...i woke up and my dreams are shattered on the floor...' Again I pick up the pieces of those dreams and 're-live' them like I did the night before....why? Because its comforting and thoughts cant really hurt(or can they?)
ever understood? - Nope....will I ever? I hope so....
ever forgiven? - (ahhh!!!) I tried, I really tried but what does it mean to forgive, truly let go.....?? but do we ever let go..of the past...or do we let ourselves follow us around, everyhwere, every path we go.....?? So have we forgiven???
Question is Shahnaz - have we forgiven ourselves?? Enough for us to actually let go...??
Shahnaz -
My 'me' always follows me around. it haunts me, it taunts me and it follows...I tell it to stop following me but it clings onto me like my own skin...it gets the better of me...it reminds me of my weaknesses, my pains and my losses....yes...its always with me and follows me wherever I go.....I push it away but the truth is it defines the being I am and it accepts me just the way I am...so I let it follow me...
Ever been lost? - Many times than I can describe...I lost myself to the extent I didnt even know who was I anymore......one defining moment was when I went against my own morals (which I fought hard against throughout my life) but ended up getting tattoed, my belly pierced and got pissed on the same day...!! Alas.!! i was definitely lost...!! Sometimes we crave the unknown and indulge in all the rights and all the wrongs just to make sure we dont miss out on anything. Ive lost myself so many times and im still looking for the 'pieces' to make me whole.
Ever been blind? Yup, when people 'make' me see something thats not me and I cant see anything else so I follow the dark path and let it lead me where it needs to be led as I am too blind to open my eyes and actually see whats right in front of me. I tend to miss the 'key part' and see and act upon something totally different..
ever closed your eyes and dreamed in the wrong arms, of being in the right arms...? - Oh honey, every night....the arms is a source of comfort but as is told in the song I receommended you, 'when I close my eyes, the greatest story told...i woke up and my dreams are shattered on the floor...' Again I pick up the pieces of those dreams and 're-live' them like I did the night before....why? Because its comforting and thoughts cant really hurt(or can they?)
ever understood? - Nope....will I ever? I hope so....
ever forgiven? - (ahhh!!!) I tried, I really tried but what does it mean to forgive, truly let go.....?? but do we ever let go..of the past...or do we let ourselves follow us around, everyhwere, every path we go.....?? So have we forgiven???
Question is Shahnaz - have we forgiven ourselves?? Enough for us to actually let go...??
Post a Comment