GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you ever met those people with an ever so inflated sense of entitlement? Those who believe that the world does and should revolve around them? Yeah... we all know them right? Well I am happy to inform that I told one such person off today-

And very rightly so too!

Okay before we get into it, I have to say- for the record "I need a drink!" and it's barely noon....
Now to elaborate- There is a slight sprinkling of snow yesterday which may or may not have frozen on the roads today (I didn't encounter any ice!) and Ambar's school was delayed two hours.

Now this daughter of mine is a brilliant and beautiful kid. Responsible, smart, great, simply wonderful! 
This kid is so awesome that she completes her homework and has her book bag in the car ready to go the night before. Anyhoo....there is a two hour delay and the super great private school that she goes to will call you at 6:00am to let you know if there is a delay so if you don't have to be up you can just hit the snooze button and sleep some more. I am not one of those who has the luxury to do that, but I do know someone who does...or that is what my super entitled brain thinks when  that 6:am call comes through. So groggily I dial the number- to my ex hubby (and the new Mrs. Khawaja)(that's what I have to tell everyone who knows us- I am the "old" she is the "new" lol...) of course! After all his little wifey does not work. Sure she has a cake decorating class or what not and all but seriously, they live 1 minute away from her school. She could do the delayed drop off. And if it is icy I know for a fact she is not going out. But to no avail- alas- I believe they have started to screen my 6:00am post Westchester, call with delay,  calls. Hmmm I wonder why...lol...

Now that was not the conundrum and I promise I will get to the point. SO The "new" cannot do the drop off and I call trusty old Mrs. Smith who, angel that she is, makes the 30 minute drive from her house to mine to watch Ambar for an hour before she has to take her to school.

Things go without a hitch-
Kid fed and hugged? check
Me fed and Advil-(ed)? (pms abounds...as well as sniffles and general aches and pains from workout and cold!) check
Get to work in time? check
Make first meeting (off site) on time? check
And here is where it gets tricky...

At 10:05am look at cell phone- and I quote- "my book bag is in your car mom and now I am crying!" ACK! Mommy heart explosion!!!! Quadruple atria/ventricular spasms and whatnot! So I grab keys/scribble message on whiteboard outside office door/sprint down three flights of stairs and across campus to car/dial boss/start car and take off like a maniac down the street. It is now 10:10am. CRAP! Have a client at 11:00am! Dial boss's cell line. No answer. Dial Office line and tell her that I am on the road taking kid's book bag to kid. She chuckles and tells me to be safe on  the road.

Safe? ME? Safe? I am the woman who got that 25 over limit (at least that is what my speeding ticket attorney got it reduced to)(and yes I have an attorney just for speeding tickets)(get over it) ticket once.  I scour the roads for cops as I jam on the gas and watch the needle hit 100 and go over. "Please don't let me get a ticket, please don't let me get a ticket, I chant until Cake starts to play on the radio and then I simply head bang to Cake and cruise along with a mental note to self- try the Acuvue lenses...they probably have better vision focus- as I peer at the number plates of cars to determine if they are cop cars.

Long story short- Book Bag gets delivered. Kid has this glorious look of joy on her face. Kid's teacher looks amazed- "You drove from Greensboro?"
Yes ma'am- she's an amazing kid and I will do everything in my power to never let her down!

Get in car- It is now 10:45am!
OH CRAP- and then I start to curse in sixteen languages as I do a repeat of the "scout for cop cars" deal and another mental note of "try the Acuvue lenses" interspersed with the MOST inflated sense of entitlement that leads me to be angered at (and yes I still continue to utter my sixteen language curse monologue)- get this- all of the following- (chuckles!)

• the "new wife" who is simply not worth the air she breathes some days (smirk) (very self satisfied smirk)
• the slowpoke old biddy infront of me driving well within the speed limit (head shake/southern drivers!)
• the TWO HOUR delay over what? sprinkles? I survived a blizzard in NYC for Pete's sake!!(ahhh sigh...lol)
• oh yet another old biddy who drives well within the speed limit (LMAO now)
• any and all cops
• The very state of NC which would on the spot relieve me of my Driver's License and put me behind bars for driving at the speed I am driving (gulp! fear!)
• the sun which is in my eyes (fuck the sun for shining! how dare it shine? could it not shine at 5:00am and melt the snow hence eliminating the need for a delay?)
• the school, for the delay (at this point I am laughing out loud!)

YEAH! fuck it all!!! I say with some great degree of smug self satisfaction as I do the internal mental (simultaneous and yet dichotomous with the cursing) other monologue of self evaluation-lol...

"Shahnaz- You are single-handedly the world's MOST atrociously spoiled and entitled, ridiculously self-inflated ego maniac, head banging (yes Cake is playing again!) 'make a sailor blush' curse machine (that monologue is still in full force...) who is a completely awesome driver and mom! (kudos and pat on back for self) and wow- Ishould really get myself a Mustang and see what I can make that baby do-lol..."

And I pull into the lot at exactly 11:05!
Quick sprint across campus and up three flights of stairs, clatter down the wooden hallway, remembering to breathe- in through nose and out through mouth- and turn the corner completely composed and presentable to see client waiting- Phew!
Make apologies- Settle in

"So tell me about your day so far..." I state

;)