Monday, February 6, 2012

"you thoo picky! you thoo picky with your nails!!"

"You thoo picky! You thoo picky with your nails!!"

The above uttered to me by the lady that (used to)(alas to the past tense!) do my nails, sometime early last year. The words were stated right before she fired me! Yup folks! I was fired by the woman in my employ as my manicurist. Unheard of isn't it? I thought so too...
Only in Lifa a la Shahnaz is such a feat possible- that a paying customer will get fired by the place of business. (Doesn't that work the other way around? I fire her because she does not do a good job?? But she did an amazing job! Too amazing in fact that she decided she just could not do it any more... And I never complained! Not once about how she did the job! She just up and fired me! Because I was "thoo picky!) Sniff...

She also stated-

"I can't do your nails no more. Take too long! You thoo picky. You so picky with your nails! You even more picky with your men! "

Yup yup- I got TOLD!

See folks, I like a slightly pointy oval shape nail. Not the regular square- YUCK!- nail. Also the shape has to match the corresponding finger on the other hand and have to be well shaped on each hand. I like two coats of a color that I custom blend- at present it is a deep purple black- I have natural long nails... (I gave up rock climbing for these nails! I did try the rock wall the other day and climbed several times-harness on, and did great. The trick is to reach for the bigger hand holds that I can grab even with my nails. Trouble happened when I tried to go around unharnessed. They recommend you stay under the yellow line if doing that. In my quest for the bigger hand holds, I didn't realized how high I got- 9 ft to be exact- sans harness... and then I missed a handhold- yup because of the nails... and fell- THUD! My first words on landing,

"Damnit!! I think I scuffed my bloody nail!"

My friends' responses-

"Oh My God! Are you okay?"
"Is she okay?"
"Did she just say she scuffed her nails?"
"Forget the nails! Are you hurt?"
"That a long way down"
"You were close to 9 ft up!"
"Can you stand?"
"Did she say she scuffed her nail???"





I was fine. I lived. I just put on a new coat of clear polish but I digress from my original tale about my nails-)
I am "thoo picky" with them. You "thee" pardon me, I mean,  see... (lol that lisp is catchey and kitschy!) (I digress... again...) you see, I AM thoo picky!
I begin to realize that- but what is a woman to do?
Just settle?

My new nail lady at a new nail salon- who I treat like royalty, lest she fires me too, asked me why I got divorced. I told her,

"I did not love him."
"What he do- your ex husband?"
"He is a cardiologist."
"He a DOCTOR!!?? You leave him? Divorce a doctor?"
"Yes"

And she started off in Vietnamese...and the rest of the nail techs responded in the same and then she asks,

"But why?? He have money!"And I replied

"Yes... lots of money."
"They why you leave him?"
"I did not love him."
"Your boyfriend now you love him?
"Yes."
"What he do?
"Nothing. He's in school."

"So you love him now. He no doctor?"
"No. He's not a doctor..."

And she started off in Vietnamese and I bet the whole bloody nail salon knew my love life at that point. I recalled being "thoo picky with my nails and even more picky with my men!" I shuddered to think what would happen if my old nail woman and new nail woman ever got together for coffee or something... I slowly counted to ten. She looked really close at me and she laughed and went on about my nails.

And about a year later when I broke up with said boyfriend!

"You no with your boyfriend no more?"
"No"
'Why, you no love him no more?"
"I love him."
"Why you break up?"
"He lies to me."
"But you no love him?"
"I love him..."
"Why you break up?"
"He lies."

"Why you not forgive him...?"
"I do forgive him."
"Why you no with him? It makes you sad?"

"Yes..."
"Why you not get back?"
"I did. He keeps lying to me."
"You no love him?"

"I love him."
"But you not get back with him."
"No."
"Because he lies...?"
"Yes."

And she starts of in her Vietnamese....and the rest of the salon staff responds-

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