Friday, November 16, 2012

A place to rest my head-


So I had lunch with Sophie today...
Functioning on 3 hours of sleep (I did the TWILIGHT premiere last night!) , I needed some solace. I needed some room to think and feel my heart... my soul.

I dressed up to do the Twilight premiere too BTW. It was a lot of fun.
I was introduced to the Twilight saga by the love of my life. He loved the books and the movies. He is a romantic sap that way. Me on the other hand- I have claws and I'm prickly... But around him I'm soft. Bug tells me that my voice sounds different when I talk to him. He says the same.

Our story is a lot like the Twilight saga. It is also like the "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind..."
There is this one point in the movie Twilight, where Bella states, "Nobody has ever loved anyone as much as I love you..." and Edward replies, "Well not NOBODY..." implying that he feels the same way about her... I just swooned at that line. I guess I am a silly romantic at heart- but that is how I feel towards my love- and how he states he feels towards me.

A year apart with both of us having stayed in our own individual therapy to work on us separately... we still return to "US"...

And US is a beautiful thing. Until it is not! At which point it is just painful. Excruciating... but no one else seems to have happened for me or for him and we are going on three years now! Not for a lack of trying to move on- on both our parts, mind you. It just does not seem to work with others.

Today while I sat by Sophie-
This song came on...and yes tears came! I had never heard it before. And it fit! I called him the other night after I had vowed never to do that ever again...

I called because my heart and soul were lonely!
Because I needed a place to "rest my head...."
And the only place I have EVER wanted to do that is in the space where his neck and shoulder meet... And I lay my left cheek in the crook of his arm on his right shoulder and nuzzle my nose into his smell... and it is the happiest place to me- in the whole wide world! That little spot...

He texed me the other day and stated that I am the only one he feels he can break in front of. That when emotion happens and he needs a safe place to "rest his head..." I am that place. I had tears when I read that text. And I had tears when I heard this today... And I looked at Sophie and started to text him and send him the song...I was hurting because he is far away from me and we have kept missing each other's calls since last night...and I ache for him...

As I texted he called-
My Eternal Sunshine-
...

I don't think I can find it...
Better than I had it!
All I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to lay my head

Whenever the end is
Do I think I can see it?
Well, until I get there
I'll go ahead and scream it
Just say it


All I need is
That place to lay my head...



"Say (All I Need)"


Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

ISHQ ka "AIN" bata raha hai k ashiq MAASHOOQ k tasawur mein 'ain' ho jata hai,aur ISHQ ka "SHEEN" bata raha hai k jab ashiq MASHOOQ k 'ain' ho jata hai to us ka shak jal jata hai,aur ISHQ ka "QAAF" ye bata raha hai k ashiq MASHOOQ k 'ain' ban kar shak ko jala deta he to phir apni zaat MASHOOQ ki zaat par qurban kar deta he

Anonymous said...

You are so true

Your wriying,your words are always incouraging my heart and mind
God bless You :)

Anonymous said...

there are two ways to find love
first one is so long,and in this way you lead yourself to your love,alongwith may be u find or not its not gauranteed and this way is called 'anabat' 'zohd' 'parsai' ...
second one is so easy and short,in tis way love leading You to itself,and this is "ajabat","ishq","true love"

ghulam Hassan said...



Ishq ki ek jast ne tay kar diya qissa tamam,
is zamin o asman ko be-karan samjha tha main

Iqbal

really a beautifull work here,by the way what's your pen name means
(takhalus)

Ghulam Hassan said...

favourite movie pls,if u dont mind..,sorry the comment is out of course ,oh and also actors

Deja Vu said...

beautifully n candidly n bravely written

Anonymous said...

Bitterest thing in our today’s sorrow is the memory of yesterday’s joy specially when it has been made complicated, as perhaps in your case. KISS mostly works...... Keep It Simple and Stupid... :)

Anonymous said...

P.S.
I talk from my vast experience (Of screwing the relations)

Anonymous said...

Ham sa bhi ho ga jahan mein koi nadan janan
Berukhi ko bhi jo samjhay tera ehsaan janan

Jab bhi karti hai mere dil ko pareshan dunya
Yaad aati hai teri zulf-e-pareshan janan

Mein teri pehli nazar ko nahi bhoola ab tak
Aaj bhi dil mein hai pewast wo pekaan janan

Kabhi aate hue daikhun tujhe apne ghar mein
Kash pura ho mere dil ka ye armaan janan

Ik musafir ko tere shehr mein maut aai thi
Shehr se door nahi goor e ghareeban janan

Kyun tujhe toot k chahe na khudai sari
Kon hai tere siwa yousuf e doraan janan

Jaan ba lab, khaak basar, aah ba dil, khana badosh
Mujh sa bhi koi na ho besar-o-saman janan

Mujh se baandhay thay jo, kar k sitaron ko gawah
Kar diye tu ne faramosh wo paimaan janan

Ye to puch us se k jis par ye bala guzri hai
Kya khabar tujh ko k kya hai shab e hijraan janan

Wo to ik naam tumhara tha k aaray aaya
Warna dhar leti mujhe gardish e doran janan

Kya tamasha ho k, khamosh khari ho dunya
Mein chalun hashr mein, kehte hue janan janan

Yeh wo nisbat hai jo tooti hai na tootay gi kabhi
Mein tera khaak nasheen, Tu mera sultan janan....

Anonymous said...

Main bi mu mein zuban rakhta hun

Kash pucho k mud'aa kya hai


...
kya hai

Anonymous said...

Khbardar! ae dil kahin tum na badal jana,
k badalte chakar mein mah o sal dekhen hain
Jo Yaar se lagay to falah pa gaye Mehmood,
Warna yaan badalte log bakamal dekhen hain...


Anonymous said...

Us mor se shuru kartay hain phir ye zindagi

har shae jahaan haseen thi hum Tum thay ajnabi


hw about weather there and how are you????????????????????

Anonymous said...

Poocha k kis jagah pe Tera pata milay ga
Us ne kaha tu khud ko dhoond mera pata na pooch

Anonymous said...

MERRY CRISTMAS TO SHAHNAZ...

Anonymous said...

ISHQ NAY GHALIB NIKAMMA KAR DIYA

WARNA AADMI HAM BHI THAY BARAY KAAM K

.......25TH DECEMBER QUAID E AZAM DAY......

Anonymous said...

mein nay iss taur se chaha tujhe aksar janaan
jaisay mahtab ko be-ant samander chahay
jaisay sooraj ki kiran seep ke dil mai utray
jaisay khushbu ko hawa, rung se hut ker chahay
jaisay pathhar ke kalaijay se kiran phoot-ti hai
jaisay ghunchay khulay mausam se hina mangtay hein
jaisay khaaboan mai khayaloan ki kamaan toot-ti hai
jaisay barish ki dua aabla-pa mangtay hein
mera har khaab meray such ki gawahi de ga
wus?at-e-deed ne tujh se teri khaahish ki hai
meri sochoan mai kabhi dekh sarapa apna!
mai ne duniya se alag teri parastish ki hai
khaahis-e-deed ka mausam kabhi dhundla jo hua
noach daali hain zamanay ki naqabain mai ne
teri palkoan pay utarti hui subhoan k liye
toar daali hain sitaroan ki tanabain main ne
mai nay chaha keh teray husn ki gulnaar fiza
meri ghazlon ki qataron se mehekti jaey
mai ne chaha keh meray fun ke gulistaan ki bahaar
teri aankhoan ke gulaboan se mehekti jaye
tai to yeh tha keh sajata rahay lafzoan ke kanwal
meray khamosh khayaloan mai takallum tera
raqs kerta rahay, bharta rahay, khushbu ka khumaar
meri khaahish ke jazeeroan mein takallum tera
tu magar ajnabi mahol ki parwardah kiran
meri bujhti hoi ratoan ko sahar ker na saki
teri sansoan mai maseehai to thee laikin tu bhee
chara-e-zakhm-e-gham-e-deeda-e-tarr, ker na saki
tujh ko maloom hi kab hai ke kisi dard ka daagh
aankh se dil mein utar jaey to kya hota hai???
tu ke seemab tabiyat hai tujhe kya maloom
mausam-e-hijr theher jaey to kya hota hai
tu nay uss moar pay tora hai ta?alluq ke jahan
dekh sakta nahin koi bhee palat ker janaan
abb yeh aalam hai ke ankhain jo khulain gee apni
yaad aey ga teri deed ka manzar janaan
mujh se maangay ga teray ehd-e-mohobbat ka hisaab
teray hijraan ka dehekta hua mehshar janaan
yoon meray dil ke barabar tera gham aya hai
jaisay sheeshay ke maqabil koi pathhar janaan!!!
jaisay mahtaab ko be-ant samander chahay
mai ne iss taur se chaha tujhay aksar janaan!!!

ghulam hassan said...

best Mohsin...

Dasht-e-Wafa Mein Pyaas Ka Aalam Ajeeb Tha
Dekha To Aik Dard Ka Dariya Qareeb Tha

Guzrey Jidhar Jidhar Se Tamanna K Qaafley
Her Her Qadam Pe Aik Nishaan-e-Saleeb Tha

Kuch Aysi Meherbaan Tou Na Thi Ham Pe Zindagi
Kyun Her Koi Jahaan Mein Hamara Raqeeb Tha

Apna Pata To Us Ne Diya Tha Mujhy “MOHSIN”
Main Khud Hi Kho Gaya Tou Ye Mera Naseeb Tha

Shahnaz said...

to all of you above...

at this point in time with history having repeated itself and that story in pieces again...

here it is-

i regret nothing
i learned my capacity to love
and i love
and love is simply love
but i love me too
and i will not settle for less than pure honest truthful accepting love in return