The year my heart was torn asunder
I tried without success to blog before the new year rolled in-
I could not.
How can one begin to describe a year of heartbreak?
I lost myself in 2014.
Lost everything I ever was or thought I was
Every last bit of Shahnaz vaporized as I clawed at thin air trying to hold on to something, anything that would give me a sense of something solid.
The dissolution started with many things and culminated in the carnage of Gaza.
My heart has never known such agony. My soul was incinerated over and over until it was cleansed and only truth and awareness remained.
I cannot remember who I was very clearly. I just know I am not that anymore...
I like the new me. It is a raw me. An organic state with nothing to hide. I am!
I taste a fierce passion raging like a storm in my soul and it heats my blood. I realize I am something wild. My pulse throbs in my ear with the sound of truth and I care not if I am the only one that utters it, I shall speak. And speak it loud.
Not much of anything has any value to me anymore- save love, and truth and right action with right heart.
Everything else is just dust.
2014 was a year of reckoning. I was incinerated into dust and my essence purified.
Face down on the ground I surrendered to Him that is my maker and He took me in and made me whole-
