Mothers and daughters

Chats with her mother are the most important conversations a daughter can have.

I'm 38 and most days all that is needed is a mama duck chat to get my brain right again.

A few days ago, Mama Duck says to me

"You are who you are because you have been through a lot..."

And just like that I remember who I am and why the struggle is necessary. 

Adversity is a catalyst for growth. 

And then I surrender and fall into the whirlwind that only a moment ago frightened me. Only this time it isn't fear, but resilience, awareness and a quiet confidence that I feel. A quiet sort of knowing that whatever is coming, I will face it and in the end I will overcome and be okay.

Meanwhile in another mama conversation - me with with my teen this morning...

Me- it's a hyper sexualized world you're growing up in

Bug- yup

Me- sex is a very natural and normal part of life you know

Bug- yup

Me- nothing to be ashamed of, quite normal to be attracted to people and for people to find you attractive 

Bug- I know mom...

Me- meanwhile attraction and all considered, your goodies are on lockdown! I mean if someone says 'you have great goodies', you tell them 'I know this- thank you. I like my goodies. They're my goodies! And just an FYI mate they are on lockdown. No goodies for you!!!'

Got it?

Bug- I got it. My goodies are on lock down!

Me- exactly! your goodies are on lockdown. If someone tries to get those goodies... I will go all psychomama on them!

Bug- oh I believe that!!!

Me- yup! I mean like seriously 

Bug- oh believe me I know!

And so it goes...

My mama reminds me that I must surrender into a whirlwind and I remind my bug that her goodies are on lockdown until further notice.

38 and 16

Different talks

Different lessons

Same wisdom!

Soul food

"Your soul has a voice

What matters is how quickly you answer it's call, and follow where it guides you"

When I answer my soul

I am happy

When I conform to an arbitrary world

I come undone

You may call me 

Out of line

Out of turn

Unrefined

In your world so blind...

But my soul and I are one

I can bear 

Your wrath

But my soul betray

I never can

I am a woman wild

My soul can not be tamed 

I dance at will

Free like the wind

I have no use

For your arbitrary ways

Ask me of the infinite wisdom

In the air

The earth

The waves...

My soul hears it all

The birds call

The heart's wail

No I have no place

For your arbitrary ways

I claim no fame

Seek no fortune

I own a treasure

Deep inside myself

Does my insolence

Antagonize

Does my free voice 

Rasp inside your brain

Does my dancing

Frighten you

Or my lack of shame

Make me 

Someone

You cannot tame

Did you think me

Property

To own

And mold

And rule

And break

I am a woman wild

I give life

I fear not

Your arbitrary ways

With each sunrise

I am reborn

You seek to ruin me

But I am a soul

You cannot

Unmake

My essence

It will remain

Long after your arbitrary ways

Bruised rose petals and concrete

Don't ask me why...

Ask me how-

How?

Unfailing courage.

Faith in your creator.

The humility to be ground into dust.

After all,

We all come from dust.

Hope- that when you've hit rock bottom,

the only thing left to do is begin to climb your way out.

Crawl if you must.

Bleed and break and fall if you must.

Weep if you must.

But climb,

CLIMB!!

You must...

And yet you ask

How?

Endless forgiveness.

Of self,

And of other.

The wisdom to falter

And yet,

To falter but never fail...

To fail you have to give up.

Falter.

But don't give up.

Never give up!

Let death happen,

But never give up.

As it stands,

Death comes to us all...

All die,

But few actually live.

Live!

And falter...

But never give up!

And still you ask

Never give up?

Never?

How???

Above all...

Endless love

Love that informs 

That to do anything but

Is not an option.

That is how...