Friday, August 1, 2014

The boy with the cat-

There are some glimpses of events in life that will tear apart your soul...
Rend your heart in two.

SHAIMA of Gaza is such a glimpse for me...

And today, it was this boy with a cat-

@Belalmd12: Sleeping on the floor at Shifa hospital was this kid. The only thing that survived from his home was his cat. #Gaza

I found this on Twitter.

His cat, the only thing that survived from his home...
And he asleep on a cold stone floor...
Alone with his cat
The animal held close in his embrace
The extent of his loss so poignant on his face- even in sleep.
His body language screaming out
What his voice cannot.
The dust and rubble and gunpowder still visible on his sandals...

That floor so cold
In a world so cruel

May his dreams be beautiful
And filled with love
May his loved ones visit
To kiss his cheeks
May his mothers embrace
Keep him warm in his dreams
May he find play and frolic that his young years deserve
May his slumber have songs from angels themselves
May his sleep give him a brief respite
From the cruel world he will find when he awakens 

My prayers and heart are with this beautiful child
Asleep with his cat
On a cold stone floor
With the dust of war on his sandals
In Shifa hospital
The boy with the cat
From Gaza


Wednesday, July 30, 2014

An angel departs- SHAIMA of Gaza

July 26 2014- July 30 2014
SHAIMA of Gaza

Not just a number
Not just some dates
Not just another statistic
Not just a name
She was a baby
She was a human
She fought for life

5 days...
5 days?
5 days!!!!

Her lifespan-

Five days


I remember my daughters face
The day she was born
I remember my heart swell with love
At her beautiful face
I remember seeing Shaima's picture
I remember my heart swell with love
I looked at this innocent emblem of love
I sensed her fragrance
I sensed her soft cheek
I wanted to hold her
And keep her safe...


She's gone.
This bundle of love
She's gone
This angel of grace

Heaven open wide
Let my tears pave her way
Let my love be her shroud
As she finds her resting place...

Too much hate
Too much hate
Heaven have mercy
On her murderer's fate

After the torment in my soul subsides
Only silence remains
Just my words by my side
And her picture in front of my face
And I a heap on my bedroom floor
And my bug by my side
As tears stream down both our faces
This angel
Our heart
Our soul
Our love

An angel departs
5 days was her reign
An angel departs
In my heart she'll remain
An angel departs
No amount of hate
Can overcome my love for her
My angel
Of Gaza...

How much pain?

How much pain
Can a human sustain?
The loss of home,
Of limb,
Of child?
Of father
A neighbor
A friend
A stranger
1000 humans?

How much blood
Will it take to appease
How much injustice?
Can a human sustain?

I scream
I cry
I can't eat
Or sleep
All fades away
All that remains
Is Gaza-

Gaza burns
Gaza bleeds
Gaza weeps
Gaza screams
And yet...
Gaza sustains

A crown of thorns was placed
On the brow of Jesus
Baby Moses cast off in a basket on the Nile
Mohammed saved by a spider's web
And still they fight-

How much fight
Can a human sustain?

I find my heart melt
And pray for mercy
For the oppressor
For I am afraid
For what will await
When justice delivers

How much justice 
Can the cruel sustain

In my pain
As I break
And yet I sustain
I pray for Gaza 
And for the blessings of heaven to shower
The sweet faces in death
As if asleep
Some stilled in pain
May the angels welcome
With songs of praise
The innocent
To heaven untimely sent

In my pain
No anger here...
I pray for the cruel 
For them let there be
Mercy from Heaven
Have mercy on them Lord
May the angels whisper mercy 
And stay their murdering hands
How much mercy
Can the cruel sustain?

Sunday, July 27, 2014

I have a heart...and it is broken

It is Sunday afternoon,
I did not attend our company party last night-
My body gave out.
I just don't have celebration in me right now.
What I have is a lot of grief.
A lot of pain.
A lot of sadness.
I went to the gym yesterday, the only sanity I have left anymore. I find that as I strengthen my body I strengthen my soul.
I lift iron because I am impotent and unable to lift humanity.
I run on the eliptical, because I want to run away from a world that is silent. 
And those that speak, while trying their best, have failed to stop this massacre in Gaza. 
Yoga teaches me how to breathe in stressful positions and I find it difficult to breathe of late...
-it hurts to breathe while blood is pouring out of Gaza faster than the sweat I feel on my forehead as I workout!

I have survivor's guilt some say. Perhaps I do-
I also have latent shame because no matter how many petitions I have signed or how many people I have asked for help, I have failed... Humanity has failed.

I have failed my brethren. 
I have failed humanity.
I, a human. With heart. Have failed to move humanity to end the bloodshed.

I got home yesterday after the gym and my body collapsed.

I read about the Greek Orthodox Church inviting the Muslims to pray there and my heart saw the beauty in some of us. We can live in peace, I thought...

I heard Israeli's calling for death to Arabs and I see cruelty in the rest of us. No peace there, I thought...

And then there is indifference. Some just turn a blind eye and look the other way.
What hope for peace when people fail to realize how connected we all are as a human race, I thought...

-My daughter, with her dad for Eid, calls to tell me she loves me. She knows I'm broken on the inside. "Are you okay mom?"
-My mom calls and says she noticed I was online. She was up to eat before fast and decided to ring me- she says, " you are taking it all too close to you okay?..." 
-My boss emailed- "we missed you, I hope you are okay..."

All people who love me.
All who care and want to know if I am okay.

But I can't say I am okay.
I can't.

I am not okay.

I am broken. 





Unable to help...
The helpless-

I have not taken it too close to heart...

I simply have a heart...

I just have a heart

And it feels

Scores massacred in Gaza
Innocent babies

The Israeli Navy bombs children playing on the beach!

Others are burning in the streets
There are babies dying
Broken humans everywhere
No humanitarian relief in sight
Hospitals bombed!

In Israel, I read tweets that maliciously declare
"No school in Gaza tomorrow, all the children will be dead..." 
These followed by thumbs up signs because apparently that phrase rhymes in Hebrew and was considered a clever pun on words!

Palestinian Israeli's beaten into unconsciousness by lynch mobs in the streets in Israel while police looked on and did not call an ambulance. 

Passers by, with kind hearts, carried the wounded to hospitals...

I am not okay.

All I am is heartbroken.

All I have is a heart.
I just have a heart. 
And it is broken...

Friday, July 25, 2014

Shaima of GAZA

Little beautiful ray of light
Into a cruel dark world arrives
Ripped from comfort
Shoved into
Fire, metal, gunpowder and dust
This heavenly child
Orphaned-before birth!
Innocent and bright
Breaks what's left of my heart in two
Her sweetness melts 
My heavy heart...
Her soft delicate fragile essence
So strong

The fucking bastards
Could not conquer this 
Fragile innocent light
Those COWARDS claim strength and courage....


I hold a mirror up to them
In tanks and boots
And helmets clad
Behind their  armor
They scream and jabber!
Tasting blood

SHAIMA is the nectar of the gods

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

While Gaza Burned...

Is there morphine
For my soul?
Will it ever
Make any sense?
Blood and carnage
Evil's splendor
Run amuck
Hyena's jabber
Rape and pillage
Break and burn
Mothers scream
Babies torn
And in the silence
They look on
The bastards 
We picked
To rule 
And called our own
Break and burn
Sons of bitches
Sit and talk
While cities crumble
The people gone
Little angels voices
No more to laugh
No more to play
Only shadows 
Left behind
Where once
The four kicked a ball
In play, along the shore
On a beach
In burning Gaza
Shot down 
Bombed down 
Cut in half
Cut in half!

Only dust and rubble
Where once he searched
For loved ones fallen 
Sniped in cold blood
Just a civilian 
In search of family
In the rubble
Of his home 
Sniped down
Not once
But twice
For good measure
Sniped down
To the ground
In cold blood
While the snipers
Call themselves the victim
The snipers
Scream injustice?

Who shall call
To justice then?

Is each one here...

The sniper
The bomber
The ruler 

When the silent
Sat and watched
The World Cup!?!!!
(Germany won...)

While Israel perched
Atop their hill top
Cheering on
In Sderot
While bloody murder
Was carried out...
In Gaza

And Gaza BURNED!

As the world
Looked silently on

Is there morphine 
For my soul...

Will I again
Ever be whole?

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Dreamers unite!

"I have a dream" he said....

"Imagine...." He sang 

"Cos we all live under the same sun...why can't we all live as ONE" he sang

Dreamers unite- #HelpGaza
We must press for PEACE!

Things you can do-

Counsel those with anger that their anger is just but must not take away their HUMANITY! Their anger should fuel their compassion for the victims. 
Not lead them to retaliate with more aggression in word, action or deed!

We will protest with compassion! For humanity!
We will set an example!
There are good people, sane people on BOTH SIDES! We will listen to the anger and counsel for PEACE.

There is so much hurt around us. We must be sensitive to ALL who are hurting and help each other when we falter. We must BE the change we wish to see. 

We must embrace all voices of HUMANITY and let sane people EVERYWHERE unite as ONE voice for an end to this madness and carnage!

My fellow Counselors- I again call on you. YOU ARE NEEDED IN THE PEACE MAKING PROCESS. 

You have a voice- use it! COUNSEL FOR PEACE!