Thursday, May 19, 2016

Mothers and daughters

Chats with her mother are the most important conversations a daughter can have.

I'm 38 and most days all that is needed is a mama duck chat to get my brain right again.

A few days ago, Mama Duck says to me

"You are who you are because you have been through a lot..."

And just like that I remember who I am and why the struggle is necessary. 

Adversity is a catalyst for growth. 

And then I surrender and fall into the whirlwind that only a moment ago frightened me. Only this time it isn't fear, but resilience, awareness and a quiet confidence that I feel. A quiet sort of knowing that whatever is coming, I will face it and in the end I will overcome and be okay.

Meanwhile in another mama conversation - me with with my teen this morning...

Me- it's a hyper sexualized world you're growing up in
Bug- yup
Me- sex is a very natural and normal part of life you know
Bug- yup
Me- nothing to be ashamed of, quite normal to be attracted to people and for people to find you attractive 
Bug- I know mom...
Me- meanwhile attraction and all considered, your goodies are on lockdown! I mean if someone says 'you have great goodies', you tell them 'I know this- thank you. I like my goodies. They're my goodies! And just an FYI mate they are on lockdown. No goodies for you!!!'
Got it?
Bug- I got it. My goodies are on lock down!
Me- exactly! your goodies are on lockdown. If someone tries to get those goodies... I will go all psychomama on them!
Bug- oh I believe that!!!
Me- yup! I mean like seriously 
Bug- oh believe me I know!

And so it goes...
My mama reminds me that I must surrender into a whirlwind and I remind my bug that her goodies are on lockdown until further notice.

38 and 16
Different talks
Different lessons
Same wisdom!

Soul food

"Your soul has a voice
What matters is how quickly you answer it's call, and follow where it guides you"

When I answer my soul
I am happy

When I conform to an arbitrary world
I come undone

You may call me 
Out of line
Out of turn
In your world so blind...

But my soul and I are one

I can bear 
Your wrath

But my soul betray
I never can
I am a woman wild
My soul can not be tamed 

I dance at will
Free like the wind
I have no use
For your arbitrary ways

Ask me of the infinite wisdom
In the air
The earth
The waves...
My soul hears it all
The birds call
The heart's wail
No I have no place
For your arbitrary ways

I claim no fame
Seek no fortune
I own a treasure
Deep inside myself

Does my insolence

Does my free voice 
Rasp inside your brain

Does my dancing
Frighten you
Or my lack of shame
Make me 
You cannot tame

Did you think me
To own
And mold
And rule
And break

I am a woman wild
I give life
I fear not
Your arbitrary ways

With each sunrise
I am reborn
You seek to ruin me
But I am a soul
You cannot
My essence
It will remain
Long after your arbitrary ways

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Bruised rose petals and concrete

Don't ask me why...
Ask me how-


Unfailing courage.
Faith in your creator.
The humility to be ground into dust.
After all,
We all come from dust.
Hope- that when you've hit rock bottom,
the only thing left to do is begin to climb your way out.
Crawl if you must.
Bleed and break and fall if you must.
Weep if you must.
But climb,
You must...

And yet you ask

Endless forgiveness.
Of self,
And of other.
The wisdom to falter
And yet,
To falter but never fail...
To fail you have to give up.
But don't give up.
Never give up!
Let death happen,
But never give up.
As it stands,
Death comes to us all...
All die,
But few actually live.
And falter...
But never give up!

And still you ask
Never give up?

Above all...
Endless love
Love that informs 
That to do anything but
Is not an option.
That is how...