Tonight's thought

The road of life-

People come
And people go
And the road of life
Is mine alone

Along I stumble
Sometimes I fall
There are times
That I Can actually run
But mostly
I walk--
I walk alone

I am here they say
But where?
Where are they?
This road is mine
And I walk alone

I have run
Until my breath is lost
I have skipped
And sighed
And cried
And fought
And now
I am fine
Because
This road
Is mine
And I walk alone-

And it is not me
That aches
Or breaks
For I am past that
I have made my peace
And now
All that remains
Is the walk
And I walk
This road
And I walk
Alone---

Eid-

And so it came and went this year
And I sat and saw it pass
I was with who I wanted to be with
And yet-
I missed my family
I missed my people
I missed my culture
I missed myself
I don't always like those things
Sometimes they are tedious
Odius and overbearing
Sometimes they are fake
And sometimes unnerving
But inspite of it all
Today I missed...
I missed them all

New loves and old...

Sat in thought and spoke a while
In the arms of my love last night
He asked a question
Stated a thought
And brought me to tears
And I shut my eyes
So he would not see
The inside private side of me

He continued to talk
And did not probe
He babbled away
And so it stood
Me in thought and he in talk
As I struggled
With loves past
As I dealt with pain anew

And after the moment
A little while later
I sat and talked with him a while
I confessed a little bit
I exposed a little bit
He saw some
And some he didn't
Some he understood
And some he didn't
But I spoke
And he listened
And so it stood-

He left today
A familiar ache
Sets in my heart
As I miss him
A little confusion
A little pain
A little loss
A little...
I don't even know
How to explain

Old loves- now friends
Called and we chatted a while
Of past moments
Old memories
So vague now
No feeling reclaimed
And thus I realized
New loves
Overshadow the old
Old aches linger
Sometimes

Everything is not
Perfect always...
But why not try
To open up
And give sometimes
Give 100% of you-
It may take time
May even be scary
But why not try
To open up
And love again
And let someone
Love you again...

His God and mine...

We spoke of God last night-
He and I
We spoke of wisdom
Life and religion
We challenged and we talked
We shared and we fought
To state
To hold on
To our God
Each of us
To hold on
To OUR God
I did what I do
Talked him off
Not let him have
A word in edgeways
And he listened
Patiently
And he heard me
Quietly
And when I was done
I said
Thank you
And he stated
That he knew
But I felt
At peace
Again
I had MY GOD
And he had his...
The strange thing was
GOD was the same-

How it flashes past-

When you first get that phone call
It hardly makes any sense
All time ceases to be-
Every thought focused
On a single pinpoint
You hear the words
Then slowly
They register
A second later
Than the delivery
As if through
A crusted fog
You struggle to catch up
You mumble some words
Seeking clarification
All the while aware
Of the sting of tears
Brimming into your eyes
You fight them back
And attempt
To regain control
Regain thought
Regain awareness
Attempt understanding
You hang up
Forget to breath
Slump in the seat
Robotic movements
Make the next call
(How did you have the wisdom, the foresight to think of the next call?)
Don't know
You fight the tears in earnest now
Then resign and give in
You shed a few
You think some more
It makes no sense
It is NOT FAIR
And then
That face-


And through it all
One face
Lingers on and stays
One face
So sweet
Lingers and
You wonder
You are the one
I will miss the most
When I am gone
You are the one
Who will miss ME the most
When I am gone.

And then the tears flow in earnest

Drive down the road
A moment of respite
Shed a few more
Try and sort it through
It makes no sense
It is NOT FAIR

And then that face
That sweet sweet face
Resignation
And then the tears flow in earnest

It does not seem fair...
And the tears flow in earnest