Kooks and coquette!

"Mommy!"
"I saw Kooks chasing his girlfriend, "Kookette" today!"

Kooks BTW is our homeboy squirrel. He lives in our backyard and has taken a liking to Ambar's outgrown Fisher Price plastic toddler slide. The crazy rodent actually jumps off his tree and slides down the slide over and over and loves it!

The silly thing is quite entertaining, I must admit, but has fluff for brains. (Sort of like a bimbo has fluff for brains. Bimbos can be VERY entertaining until they open their mouths and you realize- sigh.... fluff...all fluff for brains! And they come in both the male and female varieties. Would a male bimbo be called a "Himbo"? hmmmm..... but I digress from Kook's tale).

So Back to Kooks. See we put out food for the wee little critter every now and then. He hops down from his tree, slides and few times, grabs a bite and scampers off. Every now and then I am witness to the perplexing complexities of squirrel life. Kooks is weird to say the least. He is (I kid you not) scared of the birds too. He will be sent off scurrying by a flock of birds who often descend from flight to partake of the buffet spread that is Kooks provisions.

Once I put out a half a bag of Cheetos, and the silly thing actually went and buried them in my yard! Sigh... and then over the next few days proceeded to dig up numerous holes in search of said (and by now dissolved)Cheetos! The animal is an idiot. Yup! Most definitely a bim...er himbo. But VERY popular with the women. One coquette Kookette to be exact.

I suppose as long as he keeps his mouth shut he and his lady friend have many a fun frolic ahead of them.

Sigh... bimbos are sooo beautiful. Both varieties. It's a pity they have to speak on occasion. Imagine the bliss if they never let on the fact that they have fluff for brains. Life could be so beautifully enchanting if the beautiful but fluffy never spoke!

Bonsai pipeline! (Will drop pants for food, & It's all about ME!)

The surfing mecca of the '60s and '70s- located in Oahu, Hawaii.

Reading those two words in the most unexpected place had the effect of making me chuckle to myself all day long today. The famous words were inscribed on a pair of men's boxers. Complete with a tiki hut and sharks swimming around and other scribbles (which I cannot remember...) the Bonsai Pipeline stood out!

I love funky clothing. Distressed jeans with detailing- Spitfire makes some really nice sportswear jeans. And snazzy Ts with cool captions.

JB has a pair which says "Will drop pants for food!"
And a girl once approached him and offered him a snickers bar- .......... (yeah... another story entirely!)

I love my T that JB gave me for graduation.
"Recent scientific theories have finally proven that the world does revolve around ME!!" and it accompanies my own personalized mug that very aptly states "It's all about me. Me me ME!!"

Yeah.
Bonsai!

;)

Of Jack and As(s)! A modern (catty) fable... ;)

Once upon a time there was a man named Jack. He lived a full life, married and well- was otherwise content. The question arose, if life be this good... why would he dwell on the past? His aim was, you see, to make it his bee to buzz into stuff that was just too trifling to bother with, you see. Like phone calls and people and who should and should not(!)be friends, like schedules, vacation days and the "axis of evil"- if you know what I mean...

In situations like this was when this Jack met an As(s). Uh oh!... All the folks they cried. They ran and they shied, but Jack you see was adamant he be, united with this As(s)! That was when Mr. Jack he became a Jackas(s)!

It is situations like this for which statements are made
"don't, dear sir get your:

nickers in a twist
or
feathers in a bunch

"please, dear sir:

keep your hair on
or even

gulp!

dude get a life!

Alas, you see... such a pity, a pity! To waste a lifetime fretting and sweating over the minutiae, the insubstantial the ever so SMALL stuff in life!

Jack-Us... er I mean... As(s) man!
Dude-
Get a life!!

(Farah..
Woman,
If you read this one you could relate
You have to be familiar with the man... ;)
I just had my own dose a little while ago)

Sigh...
What a bugaboo!!!

Compartmentalize... and regret...

After the rage
the regret set in
to silence it's face
compartments were made
a grin plastered on
joviality construed
and in the box the moment survived
and guilt free i slept in peace
at least
for a while
but the thing with boxes
compartments
regret
...
it is all
unfinished business
and we return to it
over and over
time after time
it haunts
it clouds
it shadows
and drains
the peace
the joy
the life
of every moment
until
...
you sit down
unpack that baggage
sort it through
and leave it behind
...

...imagine...

imagine...

the helplessness
of love
of being
of falling
in love...

the agony
the ecstasy
the joy
the heartache
the utter helplessness

imagine...

the battle
you wage
to fight that
you resist
you withhold

surrender
and yet
it happens
mysteriously
creeping

imagine...

the fall
the drop
the plummet
the rush
the fear

the stillness
the frenzy
your thoughts
held hostage
monopolized

imagine...

the achy-ness
the loss
of control
you glance
held captive

by eyes
that mesmerize
consume
demand
command

IMAGINE!

SURRENDER
LOSS
of control
of self
of everything

as you
are held
captive
bewitched
entranced

imagine...

the crack
of heartbreak
the utter
LOSS
of all

how life
goes on
the sun
rising
and setting

imagine...

it all
and yet
to fall
to be
in love

is
the most
magnificent
feeling
of all

imagine...

JUMP! (for those who e mailed and insisted this be posted here!)

YOU.....

Your face,
Your eyes...
The look in them

Your smile,
Your mouth...
The kiss of it

Your skin,
Your touch...
The warmth of it

Your body,
Your being...
Lying next to me

Your kiss
so soft

Your loving
so gentle

You graze
my neck with
the stubble
on your chin
I melt
I melt
into your touch

"I missed you"
"why..."
"I've missed YOU"
"Why?"
"Why does one miss another...
YOU feel good.
You make me feel good...
Is that a good answer?"
"Yes..."

you
you
you

...

Bubba Jee!!!

My one true love at first sight!
Here's what she wrote for me yesterday

I Love You
XOXOXOXO

Always
Forever
Everlasting
Nomater
What
You are
The best
Mother
Ever
You
Will mak me
Do better
If you think
I can do
Better
You always
Trust me
You do
Fun stuff
With me
You are
Funny and
Have a very good
Personalaty

LOVE,
Ambar

(see... isn't she the greatest???)
(my little bubble gum!)

And today in the car when a friend was driving her(bubbs), friend(bubbs' friend) and myself home after an event at her school... We started some grown up chit chat.

I said to my friend, "wait 'till we get home...little pitchers have BIG ears!"

Bubbs says
"hey I heard that!"

Bubb's friend says "we can eaves drop too you know!"

I said
"The thing with eaves dropping is that after you do it and wake up in the morning you discover that you've turned into a bat!"

Bubbs whispers to her friend, "she's joking you know!!!"

I ask
"Bubba Jee... do you mind having a funny mommy? Or does my craziness embarrass you?"

Bubbs to me
"Are you kidding? I LOVE having a funny mom! You are the coolest! All my friends think so! You wouldn't be YOU if you were not crazy funny!!!"

Me
"Love you Bubbs!!"

Bubbs
"Love you mums!!!"

Friend and friend's kid
"Awwww...."

Friend
"I can see where she gets it all from!!"

Me
wink and chuckle... "and thank God for that one right?

Friend and me
LAUGHTER!!!!

Kids upstairs having a ball of a time!
Moms downstairs having a ball!

Life's little joys...
Ahhhh
Sigh!

LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Thanks for the comments, messages, e mails and phone calls! You guys rock! I love to blog for me BUT I truly LOVE blogging for you guys too!

HUGS A LOT
MUAAAH!
ME
(still painfully...but getting there...)
:)

update

i am too drugged (medicated) and in far too much pain to post new stuff!

miss you peeps. so to those who are in the know...keep praying...to those who are in the dark, i had surgery, i do not want to talk about it, i hear from the labs soon so PRAY PRAY PRAY!!

enough said.

you guys make me smile and laugh and i need a ton of that so do write and cheer me up. i need a TON of that especially now.

the TOADS i have accumulated over time have gotten even bigger warts! and while you can get rid of them (toads and warts), they remain in your life regardless... i am enduring the BIGGEST toad in my life currently! and even while gone he can still make my life miserable....

so send good wishes my way.

to those who can
call me.

to those who can't
write me.

need laughs...
lots of them!
and good wishes
also lots of them
and prayer
always need that
and you folks most of all
i blog because of you and you make me happy so do what you do best!

come make me smile...
and make my day

love my peeps!
miss you all
i'll write more when typing does not hurt so much!

Come again!...

I want to be your love
I want to make you cry
And sweep you off your feet

I want to hurt your pride
I want to slap your face
I want to paint your nails
I want to make you scream
I want to braid your hair
I want to kiss your friends
I want to make you laugh
I want to dress the same
I want to defend you
I want to squeeze your thighs
I want to kiss your eyelids
And corrupt your dreams

I want to crash your car
I want to scratch your cheeks
I want to make you sick
I want to sell you out
Want to expose your flaws

I want to steal your things
I want to show you off
I want to tell you lies
I want to write you books
I want to turn you on
I want to make you come
200 times a day

I want to dry your tears
Every time you're sad
I want to be what's happening
I want to be your only friend
I only go all the way

This time I'm not pretending
I can't take the trash
Your trashy friends are catching onto us
They got like fifty personalities
Oh girl, that's so messed up
You see that sculpture on the hill
That's where she cleared me out
Forever
They're monitoring my self conscious massacres, I know
Bringing it closer to the surface so it's easily pervertable

I want to be a beast
I want to make you proud
And play with your head
I want to take you out
Make you feel adored
And buy you everything
I want to hurt you bad
Make you paranoid
And say the sweetest things
I want to help you grow
Until for eternity
I want to be your what's happening
What's happening

The Blower's Daughter...

...the shorter story
no love, no glory
no hero in her sky...

HE SAYS
He is torn,
He is shattered...
He is defeated...
He is the hero..
He cannot come to you like this...)

so he comes not at all... but does he not know that she does not care... the defeat, is not him and it is him who she wants... and yet he stays away... and she sees he will not come... and she must walk away... and it HURTS... and so she cries... The Blower's Daughter

HE SAYS:
It has nothing to do with you or me..
But everything seems just that...

...and so it is...

HE SAYS

(in response to her...."If I could actually have you")
But you do...

...where is it? this great love you talk of? i cannot see it... i cannot feel it... i need more than words... (-alice's line in closer-) she cries because she does not have him...she thinks she does not have him... and yet... when she does truly have him... she lets him go...

HE SAYS
What I want to give.
What I want is you
You
YOU.
I want YOU.
I love YOU.
More than snippets
MORE EVEN THAN THIS...
MORE
LIKE THIS>>>
So
Tell me?
Tell me!
TELL ME.
How to tell
Kiss me,

...how do you kiss what is not there... and so she cries, The Blower's daughter...

HE SAYS
You stand.
Not alone,
Never alone.
I stand
just behind you
So, turn around
And take my hand.

...he stands just behind... always, just behind... why won't he reach out and take her hand...
(she is also just a girl-standing in front of a guy-asking him to love her- Notting Hill)and all he sees is the smile, but he does not hear her voice crack and so he will not reach out...not again...

... why can she not turn... and see...him...

and her...

...Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?...

...the shorter story
no love no glory
no hero in her sky...

...and he

And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

can't take my eyes off of you...
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

Jealousy

Why is a woman jealous
Why does a man test her to see if she is jealous
Should she confess her jealousy
What are the repercussions of:
-the jealousy
-the confession
-the test

I threw these thoughts out there to my crew and peeps today.
This is some of what I got back

Why is a woman jealous?
-Because she cares... and/or is interested
-Because she is insecure- about losing him, about herself in comparison to the other

Why does the man test her?
-To see if she cares
-To stroke his own ego and prove that he's got it
-To make her be better by being competitive and trying to outdo the other
-To keep her attraction and interest by proving he is in demand

Should she confess to the jealousy?
-Yes! Honesty is great. No mind games... those suck
-No! He will know the weakness and weaknesses can be exploited

What are the repercussions:

Of the jealousy
-You pull away. No one likes feeling jealous...
-Anger.
-You try harder. To please...

Of the confession
-Honesty. No game playing, clarify and problem solve...
-Exploitation. He knows, and uses it to "get to you"...

Of the test
-You get to see if she cares and how much
-You get to see how she reacts
-You may lose her
-She may become suspicious and/or resentful

Why this post?
I was jealous...
I did not know why
I did not like how I felt
I walked away
I pulled away
I was resentful
I was jealous
The more jealous I got the more I acted like I did not really care
I encouraged
I tempted
I trapped a statement out of said man that just made my blood boil to hear: "Yeah I think she's hot!"
And then I was resentful
And angry
And confused
Why did I feel bad
I did not like what I felt
So I pulled away
I just pulled away
Emotionally
Where previously there had been warm fuzzies
Now there was icky stickiness
Where previously I had been energized and floaty
Now I was drained and droopy
And suspicious
All past jokes came to mind
Would he
Could he
Why did I care
I should not care
And so I pulled away some more
But yet there was something else
I was jealous because I did care
More than I thought I did
I was not even aware I cared
Where did that come from
When did that happen
How
Why
WHEN??
There was confusion
And fear
And panic
And more confusion

But back to the jealousy...
The thing with me and jealousy

I am NOT a jealous person by nature. I do not get jealous
UNLESS he is mine
And then I am VERY jealous
And possessive

BUT

I do not fight
I do not compete
I do not like how I feel when I am jealous

SO

Jealousy makes me leave
If I feel jealous
If the actions of another make me jealous
If the words of another make me jealous
If they are intentional
I pull away
I leave
I do not play games
I cannot change another
I CAN change myself

Anonymous...

Words you don't hear
Places you're never at
Touch you can't feel

Words I want you to say
Places I wish you were with me
Touch I need to feel

An earthly desire
Is my flaw...
An earthly love
Is what I feel...
I WANT YOU
I LOVE YOU
What room is there
In what we HAVE
For earthly sentiments

For you THAT is enough
For me it is not...
I leave because of that
If I could actually have you
I would explain...
"Inaccessibility is my only complaint"
You are you
My love
Yourself
Not one hair on you
Would I ever rearrange
How to make you understand
Without changing you
I have no desire to change you
I can change only me

There is never any you
Only snippets of you
Here and there
And that is okay
For what we HAVE
But that is not
What I WANT
I want it all
I WANT YOU
I LOVE YOU
More than snippets
MORE EVEN THAN THIS...
MORE
LIKE THIS>>>

But how to tell you that
Inaccessibility is why
I cannot tell...
How to tell
What I want
Who to tell
When there is never
Anyone to hear
...

I watch
I see
I stand and wait

For awhile...

But then
When
It's time
And I stand
Still alone

Then I must go
And you must stay

Who cares
Where you were
Or even why...
The delay
That is meaningless

Sometimes
Timing is what fails

We've missed each other in the past
Again this time...
The wind blows wild
And so I leave
I cannot stay
I don't explain
To whom can I...
When there is no one
To hear what I say
Only silence
Only snippets

...

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time...
Can't take my eyes off of you

Timing...

"...too late
i don't love you anymore
goodbye..."
(Alice- Natalie Portman's character.... in Closer)

The thing about relationships...

A friend once asked me, "Is it about timing or is it about love and about understanding)

My reply, "I thik it is about all of them...

Certainly there must be love but also there needs to be understanding. Understanding of the other person- what they can and cannot give to you. Understanding of your own needs- what you will and will not compromise on.

Funny....

So,

My Mom is visiting (YAY!!).... she got in late Sunday night and while she unpacked I finished painting "Adam"!!

Anyway, these first few days have been rushed because my weekly schedule does not include much down time for me. I go to work, I go to school... and that is pretty much it! I didn't realize how bad "it" is until today. Bubba Jee is with her dad tonight, so I took Mom out for dinner after class (which BTW ends at 6:45pm!). We get to the steak house by 8:00 and over a lovely dinner she tells me...

"So I was reading your blog today, and was very touched by the feeling magic moment..."

I am thinking hmmmmm.....

She continues,
"...see I have not really had a chance to sit and talk with you, so I decided to catch up and visited your blog today...."

WOW!!!

My mother, here for the past three days, living in the same house, has not had a chance to catch up and so logged on to read about me on my blog!

In my defense- she goes to bed early. Evenings are usually about dinner and homework and winding down... Bubbs and Mom are early to bed peeps, and then I chill and unwind... but that also means zero time with my # 1 over age 8 woman!

Hurry up and get here Friday!!! I need to hang out with my mother!!!

Where does it go...?

Where does it go?
The LOVE!
That we fall out of
Where does it go...?
The LOVE
That we fall into
Where does it go.....!!??
The LOVE that is given
Where does it go......!!!!?!????
The LOVE that is taken

WHERE DOES IT GO!!????
THE LOVE
FROM ALL THE PEOPLE
ALL THE LOVE
FROM ALL THE WORLD

(where does it go)
(this enigma called love)
(there is never enough)
(yet we all keep giving)
(and taking)
(and falling in and out of)
(love)
(love)
(love)

where is the love?
where does it go?
love?
love?
love!
love...
love
!
?
...

Feeling magic...

i helped a woman who holds back... feel again
i made it safe for her to be real
i sat with her while she cried
she looked at me with her grateful eyes
she confessed her fears to me
she faced her demons with me
i helped her see herself
i guessed at her truth
i spoke it out loud
and she fell apart right there
in front of me
for no one had ever
understood her before
no one had ever seen her before
for no one spoke kindly
or gently before
i sat there in silence
and watched the tears fall
this mountain of strength
of tremendous resolve
the weight on her shoulders
the guilt and the shame
it all poured out
a trickle it was...
for if she let go
for if she gave in
she would come undone
the dam would cave in
i felt my eyes water
i felt my heart melt
i let go myself
and with her i wept
i saw me in her
i saw where she'd been
i saw and i saw
i spoke and she sobbed
she sobbed because
she knew that i saw
she sobbed because
she could not let go
she sobbed because
she knew that i knew
we sat there together
bonded by feeling
we sat there together
in sacred space
we sat there in silence
we sat there in words
we sat and we sat
until it was time
i gave her a gift
i think that she knew
where to begin
she asked me to say
begin with yourself
was all i could say...

my heart felt the magic
i made magic today
my heart felt the feeling
feeling magic, today...

Adam...

HE said be!
and he was...



(oil on canvas- 11/16/2008)

Stuck in my head melodies... and the ones they were pirated from!

Mehbooba ho mehbooba (Sholay)... loved this song!



And the song it was pirated from...

Demi Roussos- Say you love me...

Roses...

Her cheek had the pale pearly pink
Of sea shells, the world's sweetest tint...
As though she lived,
One half might deem...
On roses sopp'd
In pearly dew....
(m)

I came home to a box of two dozen long stemmed... and these beautiful verses...
How lovely!

Hugs a lot m.....
Me

The night of the musk deer...

In the wee hours of the night
From sleep I did take flight
A phone call
Your voice...
A longing
Did cease me
I could not return
To the blissful abode
From whence
In the foggy land
Of gossamer threads
Did I disengage
To stand awhile
With you
"You are beautiful..."
You did say...
"...beautiful naked..."
(You are beautiful)
Thought I...
When shall I see you
Tomorrow?
Nay...
The day after?
Nay...
The moon calls he said
The mating call
Is nigh'
The deer roam the forest
The wild calls that night
I shall miss you then, said I
The musk deer...
Longing for it's mate
The scent of musk
The hallmark of the elite
Of royalty
Of saints
Spiritual
Sensual
Memorable
You
And I...
I shall await
The return
Of the gossamer threads
Of dreamland
Spun
Delicately
Around
With tendrils
Enticing
Beguiling
The scent
Of you
Musky
And warm
Held in the night
Loved in the night
In your arms
Tight
The night
Of the musk deer...

The first conversation...

How does one paint a conversation...
Thoughts exchanged between two souls
Ideas shared,
Words spoken
And unspoken
In the moment
And in past moments
Some remembered
Some forgotten

How does one paint
Many conversations

How does one paint
A word
Two words
Jayez
And
Haq

How does one paint
A feeling
I am you
You are me

How does one paint
You are beautiful...

How does one paint
You are mine
You have been mine
For all eternity

How does one paint
I have loved you
All my life
All your life

How does one paint
Two loves...
Both felt
Simultaneously

How does one paint
An experience
My soul
Danced with yours
In ecstasy
Like this...
LIKE THIS!

How does one paint
Like this

How does one paint
A kiss
Like this

A kiss
Not given
Not yet...
Just felt
Like this

How does one paint
Many kisses
All felt
All given
Like This

How does one paint a memory
You have not yet had
Many memories you have had
Memories you have made

How does one paint
Contentment
And bliss
Like this...

How does one paint
A beginning
An inspiration
Like Adam...
Like a tie
Like the Red Tie...
Like layers
Upon layers
Like circles
Concentric
Entwined
Like You...
Like HU
Like this
LIKE THIS!

HISTORY

I am proud today...

To be where I am and who I am. I FEEL proud today to BE American. Today I told my child... it is all possible, it can all happen. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave... and today a brave man steps into office in a free nation... with a landslide victory that speaks to the growth a nation has made...

Yes there are still flaws... and factions that would dispute...BUT... there is no other nation on earth that takes care of it's own the way America does... a nation- that even though it falters, never fails to stand up and make right, that which it did wrong.... a country in which dreams do come true and in which today, I saw the beginning of a change that is historic.

Today America begins washing off the stain of RACISM...
A Black man is the president elect...
He had my vote...

And he is in office today because many more than just black people voted for him... people voted for him because he represents the change that is needed, desperately needed, to make America proud again.

Today I am a proud American...

I am safe at home tonight, after a deliriously happy day of rejoicing... with friends and co workers who joined me in fellowship and recognition that today, history was made and I was a part of it!

VOTE!

You have a voice... use it!

Rosa sat... so Martin could walk... so Barack could run... so our kids could fly!

I tell my daughter

"Sweetheart you are a proud American you can be whatever you want to be, you could be the president if you wanted to be... all you have to do is work hard and believe..."

She replies

"Mommy I voted today! Can I stay up to see who won? Kids are interested in this stuff too, you know..."

My love for my adopted country is as fierce as my love for my child. I have lived here 10 years and I call this HOME! I have fought for my rights here and to date I have not been let down...

I cast my ballot today in a tradition that says I HAVE A VOICE....
My daughter cast her vote at school.... in her third grade class... and she learned to USE HER VOICE...

Agony and Ecstasy of Divine Discontent (Rumi- Deepak Chopra, Madonna)

...like this...

Can I explain "like this"...
It is a state of being

To be in a state of love is earthly... it is lowly... it is a bond of an earthly shell...

To be in a state of "like this" is a state of the soul..... an ethereal thing..... it is beyond love... it is MORE than love...... it is "like this"....

Like Rumi's Like this....
I am like this
He is like this

My awareness is like this...
My whole life is like this
The red tie
Is like this...

"The soul sometimes leaves the body, then returns.
When someone doesn't believe that,walk back into my house.
Like this."
(Rumi)

"When one is united to the core of another,
to speak of that is to breathe the name HU,
empty of self and filled with love."
(Rumi)

That is a state "like this".

The labyrinth is like this...
Life is like this
Universes upon universes
Dimensions upon dimensions
Coded
Hidden
Manifest
Unmanifest
Revealed

Awareness is like this
HU is like this
It is like this
Like this...

and so it is...

When Awareness Strikes...

Where will you be?
When awareness strikes...

It did for me
Just strike
Just now
My soul
Evolved
It flew
It left
My Body
Just now
I felt the chill
The thrill
At will
It flew
And
It took
Me along
To view
The truth
Or one of them
At least....

A note... and my reply...

(picture by Moz Saleem)

Yaad....

Agar kabhi mairee yaad aye

to chand raton kee dilgeer roshni mein

kisi sitare ko dekh lena.

Agar woh nakhal-e-falak se ur kar

tumhare qadmon mein aa gire to ye jaan lena

wo ista`ara tha merey dil ka.

Agar na aye? ...

Magar ye mumkin hee kis tarah hai

ke kisi par nighah dalo

to us ki dewar-e-jan nah tootey,

Woh apni hasti nah bhool jaey!

Agar kabhi mairee yaad aye

ghuraiz karti huwa ki lehron peh haath rakhna.

Mein khushbo-on mein tumhein miloon ga.

Mujhe ghulabon ki patiyon mein talash karna.

Mein aos-e-qatra ke ai-non mein tumhein miloon ga.

Agar sitaron mein, aos-e-khusboo-on meinna pao mujhe ko,

to apne qadmon mein dekh lena.

Mein gird hoti musafaton mein tumhein miloon ga.

Kaheen pe roshan chiragh dekho to jaan lena

keh har patange ke sath mein bhi sulag chuka hoon.

Tum apne hathon se in patangon ki khakh darya mein dal dena

mein khakh ban kar samundar mein safar karoon ga.

Kisi na dekhe huwe jazeere peruk ke tumhein sadaein doon ga.

Samundaron ke safar pe nikloto is jazeere pe kabhi utarna ...

[A. I. Amjad]

My reply:

Jab chand ki roshani andharay viraanay may giray gi

To samajh layna...

Kay may aayi thi...

Jab shabnam gulab kay lab chumay gi

To samajh layna...

Kay may aayi thi...

Jab sitaray chun mun chamkay gain

To samajh layna...

Woh meri hansi thi...

Jab samandar ki lahar saahil say takrayai gi

To samajh layna...

Woh meri jhalak thi...

Sulagtay patangay ko lutf mai agar dekho gay

To samajh layna...

Woh nasha mai hi to thi...

Kabhi dur tumsay to thi hi nahi

Tum Samajh layna...

Tumhari saans mai hi to thi...

[Shahnaz Khawaja]

Cuteness Personified!!

This photograph is the picture of cuteness...

After a long evening of festivities, the little Goth Winged Witch was loathe to call it a night. In an image that personifies the spirit of childhood exhaustion, combined with the rebellion against bedtimes and the innocence of having no control in a non-negotiable schedule, here sits my pride and joy... the meaning of my life...

Her wings crushed against the chair- in the tediousness of limited space, for a creature that needs to soar and freedom to fly wild and free... just as her little spirit is crushed by the tediousness of bedtimes, imposed by mom when there is still fun to be had and adventures to make...

She is the reflection of me.
I vow to nurture and feed that free spirit.
To offer it the safety and care it needs to grow and spread it wings wide.
I vow never to squash too much or too long...until she is ready to be set free...
I vow to listen and to understand before I judge...
I vow to stand just a step behind and let her face her fears and be afraid, make mistakes and learn from them...
I vow to stand just a step behind... so she will have help if she needs it but never until she has tried her hand and tested her strength...
I vow never to wait too long before jumping in... nor jump in too fast... God help me with that!
I shall love and hug and kiss a lot!
I shall tease and joke and laugh a lot...
I shall pray and hope in the silence of the night , that life will go easy on this free spirit...
And when the time comes...
And when she is ready...
I shall teach her to FLY
To spread her wings and SOAR high...
I shall show her the joys of the open skies...
And teach her never to compromise
On her happiness
On her principles
On goodness
On truth...
I shall teach her to have the courage to disagree
I shall teach her to dance
To never sit it out
To laugh
Every chance she can...
I shall teach her to love...

My dear child
Be happy every day...
Fly high
Soar free
Be yourself always
And rejoice
In life
In you...

I love you!


Here sits my little angel, "The Winged Goth Witch!" and this is the most perfect shot of the evening... one that I shall cherish and carry around in my mind for decades to come...

I title it...
Cuteness Personified

Luna to aatish...

A matter of timing?
A changed modality- feeling to thought?
Fear?
History?
Lack of faith?
Loss of control?
Overthinking?
Underthinking?
Baggage?
Past loss?
Past pain?
All of the above?
...
Don't know...

ishq aatish

Befuddled
Confused
Obfuscated
Bewildered
Bewitched
Entwined
Enmeshed
Falling
Lost
Sinking
Why
Where
How
When
Think
Stop
Think
Wait
WHAT???
Who
YOU??
YOU!!!
YOU
You
you
how
when
why
wow
WOW
HOW?
SCARED
Run
RUN
RUN!!
Fear
Lost
Stop
Think
Thought
You
Me
Now
HOW???
WHY???
What?
love
LOVE?
LOVE!
Run
HOW?
Run
WHY?
Run
run?
Why?
Don't know
Run
run?
why?
fear
fear?
fear
why?
don't know
stop
why?
stay
why?
no
no
no
no
stop
why?
stay
why?
love
love?
love
who?
you?
me
me
you?
me
you
breathe
breathe
breathe
think
think
don't think
feel
feel...
try
feel
hold me
how?
tight
close
now
NOW!
Like this?
LIKE THIS!
LIKE THIS?
YES
YES
breathe
breathe
hold me close
don't let go
I'll bolt!
Like this?
LIKE THIS?
LIKE THIS!
LIKE THIS...
Forever More
MORE
MORE
MORE!
More...
FOREVER MORE!

Buggaboo....

So dear readers...

Apparently there is a buggaboo that I am writing really dark material these days... lol... well here's a reassurance that I am NOT wallowing in the dumps! Odd isn't it. Thoughtfulness is oftentimes perceived as doldrums...

My wellness score is at a stable 7-8 as always (on a scale of 0-10) (0 being the Pitts of hell and 10 being bliss!) I would be a happy 8 if I could get a regular workout schedule in the mix somehow! I miss working out but there just does not seem to be any way to fit it in. Shucks!

BUT...

Listen Up! MOM is on the way!!! HURRAY. Bubbs and I blackmailed her on the phone. We sobbed and cried and kicked up a royal fuss and her tender heart could not withstand the misery that was us... hehehe.... yeah we are good! ;)

So, I figure when she gets here I can run out for a run everyday and not worry about the little angel that is my delight! Yay for Moms!

Trick Or Treat??!!

For the past seven some years I have always taken Bubba Jee out trick or treating. It's generally cold... And we are tired and cranky by the time we get back home. So this year I decided that we'd stay in and dole out the treats instead.

It was a hit! I had a coupleof friends over... and we had dinner, played Mad Gab and then scared my poor unsuspecting neighborhood kids. It was pure wicked fun! We put the boom box up by the front door... and had some spooky tunes to spice up the atmosphere and when the doorbell rang we'd pounce on the little ones. I have to admit we did scare some little kids pretty bad. They screamed in fright and then looked otherwise traumatized for a bit until we delivered the goodies...

YAH! Pure wicked fun!

Picture here:
Goth Witch
Cow Girl
Elf Fairy
Wacky Athlete

Dasht...

Viranay ki soorat
Khamosh samah
Nazar jo uthao
Taweel Asman
Azadi hai dekho
Caravan e zindaan
Kiya jaanay wo kaidi
Jis ka lutf hai wafa
Humay bay wafa
Na kehna magar
Zaroorat hamari
Hai azadi agar
Hain tanha to kya
Baywafa bhi to kya
Akelay thay hum
Akelay hain ab
Sakoon hai yehi
Arzoo hai yehi
Hai yehi mera lutf
Hai azadi yehi
Issay tum kabhi
Na tanhayi kehna
Ye shanakht hai meri
Maqam hai mera
Issi say to hai
Yeh uunchi parvaaz meri
Meri shan hai
Yeh Tanhai meri
Kiya nasha hai mera
Yeh Tanhai meri
....
Yeh dasht hai mera
Meri Manno Salwa

Bittersweet...

Where does it go? The love that is no more...
Where does it go? The love that is unrequited...
Where does it go? The love that we leave behind...

Where do they go? The pieces of us that we give away...
Where do they go? The moments that we dream about...
Where do they go? The past torments...

Heaven...

Hyper Threaded... this one's for you!

Distance...

Love this song...

Mom and Dad loved this song...
Used to listen to it all the time

"I hear the sound
Of distant drums
Far away...
Far away....
And if they call
For me to come
Then I must go
And you must stay..."

I knew it was a poignant song then...
Even as a little kid...
There was so much tenderness, loss, yearning, wanting, losing...
There was a fleeting quality to the love that we give and we share...
The need to be love, and be loved...
Yet the restlessness to need freedom and be free...
Forever torn
Between the two...

"Let's not wait...
Let's share all the time we can before it's too late
Love me now for now is all the time there may be..."

"So Mary Marry me...
Let's not wait
For the distant drums might change our wedding day
And love me now
For now is all the time there may be
If you love me Mary... Mary...
Marry me..."

Distance...
Loss
Love
Now
For now is all the time there may be...

Catalyst

I have known two souls...

In knowing them
I LOST myself
In knowing them
I began to fly
In knowing them
I came undone
In knowing them
I was
remade
reclaimed
reduced
reused
In knowing them
Was danger
Yes...
In knowing them
Was intrigue
Oh...
In knowing them
The games they played
And they played
Without remorse
They felt it too
They thought
You see...
That it was me
That played
Instead
With them
And then
When we were both
Enmeshed
Entrenched
Engrossed
We became
Envious
Of ourselves
Because
We felt
You love me more
You should love
The ME I am
Not the me that's yours
You see
We were
So entwined
We could not even see
That he was me
And I was he
And what we hated
Envied
Scorned
Was the other
US we saw
We wanted to be
Loved
And yet
We were love
And we confess
We were blind
We lost ourselves
To each other
And envy grew
Because we knew
The other cheated
On us
With us
The US that was
The us they had
That we carried
Deep inside
The US that was
Ours to keep
The us that was
Fragmented
The us that we
Stole
In the dark
Recesses
Of our minds
The little pieces
Of self we kept
Of the other
To hoard
And peek
In fleeting and
Unguarded moments
And sigh in peace
Because we felt
Here you are
I have you...
See
And
Ignorance
We did not see
We lost each other
Because
We could not
BE...
Just simply
BE...
At peace
With
YOU
With
ME
As
WE...

Tormented Soul

Take a blissful day
And turn it upside down
How do you do that?

Take in the wholeness
And make it come unravelled
How do you do that?

Take the peaceful heart
And yank it out of balance
How do you do that?

Take a serene me
And turn me inside out
How do you do that?

Trick or treat!!

So I come home yesterday to find Mrs. Smith (I adopted her and her family...) (I miss my family so I adopt entire families...)and Ambar in deep commiseration. There is a covert operation afoot and I am not privy to it. I am intrigued...

The doorbell rings a little while later and Mr. Smith and Rebbecca(my friend, their daughter...) enter bearing gifts of cookie (or supplies to make them...)!!

We have a holiday tradition. Close to Halloween we make cookies, dress up, have a ball and otherwise make pure fun!! Life seems to have overtaken me these past few weeks so I had almost forgotten this time honored tradition this year... but I was gently reminded... by my loved ones... that amid the bustle and confusion that is my life

I need to pause and smell the cookies...
I need to dress up and have a ball
I need to make memories with Bubba Jee and co
I am loved and cherished
I have family everywhere I go
Life is beautiful...from...
"One dressed up and have a ball" day...
To the next...
Life is GOOD!

Picture here
Me, Bubba Jee, Rebbecca

Congested...

Congested and weary, tired but not sleepy... ever been there?
My mind begins to play tricks on me...
When faced with the self and truth and fantasy and imagination.... the lines begin to blur...

Ever been lost
Ever been found
??

Even been whole
Ever felt fragmented
??

Ever felt like you need to have it all, want it all, BE it all....
Ever felt emotion and reason play tug of war...
??

I babble...
Darn congestion!
Darn cold!

Gardish

nigah jo uthi
nazar aya tu
HU...
main madhosh thi
boli meri ruh
HU...
hawa mein chali
ayi teri khushbu
HU...

sarak kay kinaray
ek shah betha tha
jo shahi
ko thokar
mar kay chal diya
honton pay uskay
yehi wird tha...
HU...
HU...

masoom ek nonehal
bacha dekha
jo dekh kar mujhe
muskuranay laga
uskay barbaranay main
uskay muskaranay main
wohi wird tha
HU...
HU...

asmaan may giri
main lehrati chali
main shaheen thi
kya uraan thi meri
dhalta wo suraj
rangon ki masti
sur mai thay sab
HU...
HU...

kadm bay sabar
dil ki wo khushi
kya raks-e-majnoon
nasha-e-khudi
gardish main hain
bandigee
har taraf
HU...
HU...

Luna

Light
Your fire
And gaze
Deep
Inside my soul
See the flames
That burn
In me

Onerous
Earthly shell
That cages
The spirit
Within...
I long
To be
FREE

Come
Let go
Fly
FLY!!
With me
JUMP
LEAP
And SOAR

YOU
I
Are one
Have been
Since time
Immortal
Come embrace
ME- YOU

FEEL
FEEL
Don't Think
Just FEEL
FLY
FLY
Don't think
Just LEAP

Come
Consummate
Our love
My love
LOVE
LOVE
And free
YOU-ME

It comes...

I feel it again
In my bones
A restlessness
Here it comes...

I can't be still
I need
I feel
I can't explain...

What it is
I burn
I yearn
Like a coiled spring

Wound up tight
Ready to snap
Take off
But Where?

I do not know
It comes
It comes
The restlessness

And go on I must
Move on
Run, Run...
But where I go

I do not know


I am a wanderer
A gypsy
A nomad
A flitting soul
A wisp
A wraith
A shadow
A smell
A feeling
A heartbeat
A flicker
A memory
A loss
A moment
A lifetime
A glimpse
A blink

I am a wrinkle in time...

Behold:

IT COMES!
THE RESTLESSNESS...

SHAHI....

Gustakhi ma'af
Meray AQA...
ISHQ tera haq hai
Tu SHAH hai
Tu hai awwal
Tu hi akhir...

Arzoo tu hai
Justujuu tu hai
Tu HAQ hai
Tu SHAH hai

Yeh shahi meri
Teri SHAHI hai
Woh shahi uski
Teri SHAHI hai

Woh Shah jo hai
Main Shah jo hun
Kuch bhi to nahin
Na wo hai, Na main hun

Sirf TU hai
Sirf SHAH hai
Wo ISHQ hai
Main ISHQ hun

ISHQ tera HAQ hai
ISHQ tu hai
SHAHI tu hai
SHAH tu hai

Yeh ishq
Us ka
Aur mera
ISHQ hi to hai

PLEASE>>>

Dear readers...
Many of you have asked
So I respond here...

Please do not copy the words,
Please do not write them anywhere...
They are pieces of my heart
They are my soul
I trust them to you, here

Honor them
Enjoy them
I trust you

That is all I ask of you

Let them sit here
This is my solace
This is my refuge
I write here for you

You are welcome here
I honor you here

I only ask this of you
Let them be here...

For you always
S.

Dard e dil...

Kuch likha tha main nain
Kuch likh diya us nain
Likhtay hi likhtay wo khel ban gaya

Ek khel khela tha hum nay
Kheltay hi kheltay
Wo ISHQ ban gaya

Paglay do anjanay
Lafzon ki zanjeer main
Ek bandhan likh behthay
ISHQ kar bethay

Aarzoo kya hai, Justujuu kya hai... Ay dil e nadan...

Girl....

Khamoshi...

Kibla mera
Teri shan hai
Ka'aba mera, Manzil meri
Tu hai, Tu hai

Talaash thi mujhe
Umr bhar teri
Tarasti rahi
Surat ko teri

Pukara hai tujh ko
Khamoshi may mainay
Awaz di thi
Bharay shor main

Nazar aya tu
Aaj jhalak main mujhe
Khushbu teri
Meri saans thi

Ek khich parti hai
Dil mai meray
Teri arzoo hai
Bandagi hai teri

Tu sahiban mera
Tu mehboob hai
Tu hi mera ishq
Tu mera lutf hai

Sar jhuka jo agar
To sirf teray aagay
Yeh khamoshi jo hai
Hai teray wastay

Tanhayan...

Ik soch hai man main
Kahun ya chup rahun
Jo dard hai seenain main
Bolun ya khamosh rahun
Baychaini jo ruh ki hai
Sunadun ya nahin
Arzoo jo hai zindagi
Pukarun ya tanha rahun

Kuch yaadain hain tumhari
Kuch baatain hai tumhari
Kuch sawal hain meray
Kuch khayal hain meray

Paas paas rehtay ho tum
Duur rahun main
Ya tum ko apna lun

Tanha hai jeewan

Tanha rahun main
Ya kisi ko apna lun
Tanha rahun main
Ya khud ko apna lun

Tanhai hai fitrat
Tanhai arzoo...

Tanha safar ho
Ya musaffir bana lun

Bolo kya karun...

REJECTED!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Folks,

I am sooooo sorry. In my crazy and rushed life I have committed a boo boo blunder! I selected all the comments to be published and then accidentally hit the reject button by mistake because my daughter asked me what the word "rejected" means!! (She was reading a book!)

So I hang my head in shame :(
My multitasking failure mortifies me....
Please do revisit and re- comment.
I loved the comments too....

And I am hoping you will stop by and stay a while.... and this time I will actually hit the right button!

Yours distressingly
S

GULP!

Come away with me...

Far from the maddening crowd is my solace
Wild and free as the wind...
Stolen precious few moments,
There...
Will you come away with me?

Today...

I longed today...
For the comfort of your arms around me
For the soft soothing whispered words
For that special way you hold me
That makes me melt in your embrace...

I longed today...
For your lips on mine, gentle and soft
For the taste of you, sweet and enticing
For the quickening of my pulse, the breathlessness
That happens when we kiss...

I longed today...
For the smell of you, musky warm
For the feel of your skin against my cheek
For the sound of your beating heart
That echoes in my ears when I lay my head down on your chest...

I longed today...
For you.

Wild....

Acorns falling
Lazy weekends
Watching you
Smell your smell
Taste of you
Ice cold bubbles
Non-stop babble
Smokin' Aces
Touch of skin
Me and you
Stunning moons
Chinese food
Deer Hunter
Wild Man!
Where are you...

Ana ishti "hub hub" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well my dear folks... those who have been regular followers.... do you remember the Rat's tale???

Well remember the corner store guy who was known as "Shopkeeper or some such? Who could make an EEk sound just like mine and put me to shame? Well this one is about him too. And me. And mom. This incident happened before the Rat incident.

Hab hab or Hub hub that is the question...

So it unfolded thus:

I love watermelon.... so does mumsy dearest. The thing with living in a foreign country, where you don't speak the language very well is that at times you run into glitches... everyday glitches...that is, where the daily chores such as groceries and sundries can evolve into complicated (read humiliating and hilarious anecdotes)situations.

So where was I? Oh yeah... WATERMELONS.

Anyway, we had heard what watermelon is called in Arabic. Now somewhere between the hearing of the word, the registering of the word, the recalling of the word, and the reproducing of the word.... neural pathways betrayed us.... ( I call it the executive neural center making sport with the lowly motor one).

My mom walked into the store and in a very determined manner declared,
"Ana ishti hub hub"
The store keeper blushed to high heaven.... looked particularly uncomfortable, gave us a long look, chuckled to himself and embarrassed, asked
"aish?"
Mom repeated her request, this time with a winning smile...
"Ana ishti hub hub!!!"
"Shopkeeper now turned bright red, muttered in Arabic and waved over a few more people.... (when out of options this man's solution was "the more the merrier!!")
So now we were speaking to quite an audience and my mom proceeded to make her request again,
"Ana ishti hub hub..."
Folks giggled and gossiped and looked VERY interested now. Perplexed Ami and I commiserated together and we had no clue what was up so we laughed and giggled along... tsk tsk....

Well folks, let me tell you what it is we were actually saying (unbeknownst to us of course...)

Ana ishti hub hub!
(translated from Arabic to English is...)
"I WANT LOVE LOVE!!!!!

(LOL)

Now my mother is a particularly attractive female... and while no beauty, I am no dog either. So picture if you will... two, not unattractive, females... in a corner store asking for love love!!!

Yeah.... tsk..tsk...

Completely fed up, my mom proceeded to walk very regally past the gossiping and giggling crowd of Yemeni men and women to the fruit and veggie bins behind the counter and pick out a choice watermelon and with a deliberate "thud" plop it on the counter and state, almost royally

"ANA ISHTI HUB HUB!!"

And point to the infamous and by now quite vulgar (in it's size and the attention it had generated) fruit.

The crowds hushed up. There was an uncomfortable silent tension and then a wave of mirth as the crowd guffawed with laughter and the long suffering Shopkeeper, rolled his eyes and burst into a tirade of Arabic, which included much gesturing and pointing and head shaking...

"Walahi majnun..."
"Min hada mafish hub hub..."
"Min hada HABB HABB"
!!!!
translation:
You crazy females.. this isn't called love love, the fruit is called hab hab... was all we gathered (fortunately for us that was all we gathered)

We paid for the offensive fruit and went our way amid a cacophony of mirth and much head shaking....

It was not until the next day, at dinner over at the El Sayyed's that the true awareness of our interaction emerged!!! And caused much embarrassment, laughter and mirth... for us....

Sigh....
Just one in many days of

"Life a la Shahnaz..."

Stay tuned folks!
Until next time...
Ma' As Sallama!!

TAGGED!!! AGAIN.........SIGH.... and this time it's "Guilty Pleasures"

Guilty Pleasures
(Given the nature of the tag... the disclosure is appropriately encrypted. Interpret at your own risk!)


Ten- chocolate
Nine- black
Eight- silk
Seven- salt
Six- smell
Five- smooth
Four- melt
Three- purr
Two- fast
One- now!

Zay poaygama chatu sa vay......

Translation from Pashto to English...
I can understand what you are saying!!

That was the first sentence I learned in Pashto!! My dad laughed when I asked him to teach me that.... You see it is the only one I ever need to know!

Pathans are VERY proud people and we speak our language with blatant aplomb! We also believe we are so cool! So whenever you see Pathans speaking Pashto we are thinking we are so cool, we love our language, and we are proud of who and what we are...!

So I actually perfected this one sentence to the max and every time I would be sitting close to a bunch of Pathans speaking Pashto, being cool, thinking no one could understand what they were saying.... I would after a while get up, walk upto them and very slyly state "Zay paoygama....." The reaction was instantaneous satisfaction. Their faces would pale and they would go really quiet. And I would walk away like the cool kitten I was... which is when they would break into chatter and call me back and try to explain themselves.... lol.... I would at that time confess and have a good laugh and we'd be okay. They'd ask if I was pathan. I'd say yes and VOILA!! That was it. Pathans are also very cohesive. We gel with our kind like magnets!

But that brief moment between my uttering the fatal words and the registering that their "private" conversation had been heard and understood... were just awesome!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I know I am wicked!
I am a saucy devil!
And I love it!!!

Update!!

Okay scratch the maserati....

This just in....
I am in love with the Saleen S-7!!
0-60 in under 3
capable of over 200mph
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!
$598950

PEEP it up!!!

And my super PEEP! SAM gave me a WHOLE bunch of cars today...

So folks I have decided to make PEEP "MY" word. It can be a noun, verb, adjective and adverb!!!

GO PEEPS!!!

In order

Bentley
Dodge Viper
Nissan Skyline
And lastly Ferrari (And it's silver....he got me a silver one 'cos "RED just ain't my color!!!")

Speaking of cars...

Shahnaz says:
when i'm rich and famous i want a maserati
Shahnaz says:
i am a wicked driver
Fahad !!!! says:
COOL :D
Shahnaz says:
i'm safe but i drive really fast
Fahad !!!! says:
so do i :D
Shahnaz says:
fast cars and fast bikes
Shahnaz says:
thats my rush!
Fahad !!!! says:
COOL !!!
Shahnaz says:
and horses and jumping out of planes
Fahad !!!! says:
ALAS !! i finally meet a girl who loves cars :D
Shahnaz says:
what!
Shahnaz says:
you mean most girls do not love cars
Shahnaz says:
that is just wrong!
Fahad !!!! says:
over here atleast they dont !
Fahad !!!! says:
they r more bothered about just sitting in a car
Fahad !!!! says:
rather than driving !
Shahnaz says:
i actually had to pull over by the side of the road to take a look at the new corvette!
Fahad !!!! says:
NO KIDDING :D
Fahad !!!! says:
u sound so like me now
Shahnaz says:
it was parked outside someplace and i saw it and just pulled over
Fahad !!!! says:
hahaha...
Shahnaz says:
the owner came out after a while and we chatted
Fahad !!!! says:
u know my dad is always after like me ... u have so many cars to see in oru showroom then y do u keep peekin into other showrooms to see other cars n all :D
Shahnaz says:
and he owns the showroom in the town next to mine so he told me to stop by and that he'd let me take it out for a test run
Fahad !!!! says:
WOW !!!
Shahnaz says:
IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
WICKED !!!
Shahnaz says:
ABSO freakin' LUTELY!

Fahad !!!! says:
:D:D:D
Shahnaz says:
how else was i gonna drive a corvette hunh?
Shahnaz says:
he was sweet and very cute
Shahnaz says:
green eyes!
Fahad !!!! says:
LOL
Fahad !!!! says:
i was about to ask u regardin the GREEN EYES :D:P
Shahnaz says:
well that goes without saying
Fahad !!!! says:
LOL..
Shahnaz says:
he's serbian
Fahad !!!! says:
ahan ... nice !
Shahnaz says:
so i teased him about killing all my muslim brothers in bosnia
Fahad !!!! says:
ive seen almost every serbian has got colored eyes
Shahnaz says:
he actually blushed
Shahnaz says:
they are beautiful people
Fahad !!!! says:
ahan ...
Shahnaz says:
i have a lot of albanian and bosnian friends here
Shahnaz says:
and the women are just stunning
Fahad !!!! says:
coool !
Shahnaz says:
so are the men
Fahad !!!! says:
seriously
Fahad !!!! says:
when i was back in saudia
Fahad !!!! says:
i was studyin in an academy where there were bosnians n lebanese
Fahad !!!! says:
they really were BEAUTIFUL !
Shahnaz says:
so what luxury cars do you carry that i can take out for a test spin when i visit isloo
Fahad !!!! says:
:D
Fahad !!!! says:
mercs....beemers...
Fahad !!!! says:
range rovers...
Fahad !!!! says:
land cruiser amazons n prados !
Shahnaz says:
hmmm convertibles??
Shahnaz says:
what are prados
Fahad !!!! says:
we have had the 350Zs back here...
Shahnaz says:
what's that
Fahad !!!! says:
prado is a 4*4 !!!
Fahad !!!! says:
nissan skyline 350Z ....
Shahnaz says:
i don't know car stats but i know what looks great and what rides smooth
Fahad !!!! says:
it was there in the movie Fast and The Furious : Tokyo Drift !
Shahnaz says:
i love mustangs they are real muscle cars
Fahad !!!! says:
nice car.
Fahad !!!! says:
OHH SO DO I !!!
Shahnaz says:
but they don't corner well
Fahad !!!! says:
specially the 1967 one....
Fahad !!!! says:
i know ... MUSCLE CARS never corner welll..
Shahnaz says:
european cars corner like they are on rails
Fahad !!!! says:
yeah :D
Shahnaz says:
like a porshe will be so smooth
Fahad !!!! says:
cos american muscle cars r made for a 1/4 mil race mostly ...
Fahad !!!! says:
depends on the roads u know
Shahnaz says:
porsche purrs
Shahnaz says:
you now one of my professors is a judge for the nhra
Fahad !!!! says:
like the roads in italy or switserland are smooth but too many curls u know ...
Shahnaz says:
national hot rod association
Fahad !!!! says:
COoOL !!!
Shahnaz says:
awesome woman
Fahad !!!! says:
:D
Shahnaz says:
we talk fast cars all the time
Shahnaz says:
she races too
Fahad !!!! says:
heheh i see...
Fahad !!!! says:
well no offense .. but.. drag races arent actyually races
Fahad !!!! says:
they just need u to put pedal onto the metal thats all
Fahad !!!! says:
tracks r there for racers u know
Shahnaz says:
two friends of mine own a miata and both are engineers and they tricked them up with turbo boosters and all and i drove one the other day it was red though... not my color....
Fahad !!!! says:
thats y i dont like NASCAR racing n all...
Fahad !!!! says:
COoOL :D
Shahnaz says:
that baby goes from 0-80 in 30 seconds!
Shahnaz says:
no they are not
Fahad !!!! says:
30 or 3 ?!?!!?
Fahad !!!! says:
cis 30 is way too much !
Fahad !!!! says:
cos*
Shahnaz says:
is it
Shahnaz says:
maybe it was three... i was not counting... i was just driving
Fahad !!!! says:
yes it is :D
Shahnaz says:
but we were at a stop light he and i, and i was driving and these guys pulled up on a truck and started vrooming
Fahad !!!! says:
hehehe i see...
Shahnaz says:
so i vroomed back
Fahad !!!! says:
hahahhaha
Shahnaz says:
they winked and i winked back and my friend just said don't kill the car but go for it babe...
Shahnaz says:
so i did
Fahad !!!! says:
LOL !!!!
Shahnaz says:
the truckers had no clue what hit them
Shahnaz says:
neither did my friend
Fahad !!!! says:
HAHAHHAH
Shahnaz says:
he said that i acted in a most competitive manner quite unlike my female sex!
Fahad !!!! says:
welll its easy to race back there .. but over here.. the moment u go above 60 ... beep beeep baap baap ...n then ... SIGNALS n lots n lots of them :D
Shahnaz says:
lol
Fahad !!!! says:
lol......
Shahnaz says:
so i braked really hard and he nearly flew out the windscreen
Fahad !!!! says:
hahahahhaa OMG :D
Shahnaz says:
we were on the highway
Shahnaz says:
that'll teach him to be so sexist!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
HAHAHAHA
Shahnaz says:
he got to see my wild side for a bit
Fahad !!!! says:
wel in that case i will let u take a test drive but cant take a risk while sittin along with u :D
Shahnaz says:
yeah i have a sweet little honda accord
Shahnaz says:
but i take that baby to 100
Fahad !!!! says:
hmm... n i thot u had a volkswagen golf
Shahnaz says:
y friends just close their eyes and lay back when i drive
Fahad !!!! says:
as u have that vdo on ur blog ...
Shahnaz says:
what video
Fahad !!!! says:
hahhaha... so how many times have u got a ticket ?
Shahnaz says:
what's a volkswagon golf
Shahnaz says:
actually speeding twice
Fahad !!!! says:
there was this video of TOPGEAR on your blog regardin this car volkswagen golf...
Fahad !!!! says:
hmm..
Fahad !!!! says:
u know the cousin who owns this merc... he drives like crazy u know
Shahnaz says:
but i have only actually been ticketed once
Shahnaz says:
the second time i charmed my way out of it
Fahad !!!! says:
lol.. yeha i read that story too :D
Shahnaz says:
i was going 22 over the limit and that is an instant go to jail card
Fahad !!!! says:
ohhh....
Shahnaz says:
but i must've looked innocent and lost because the copper let me go... it was a woman too and they are mean!
Fahad !!!! says:
yeah they indeed are...
Shahnaz says:
she was sweet
Fahad !!!! says:
i got a ticket when i was back in saudia .. was going at around 190 :D
Shahnaz says:
what's the volkswagon golf
Fahad !!!! says:
kph ....
Fahad !!!! says:
well it's a car...
Shahnaz says:
thats intense
Fahad !!!! says:
hatchback to be precise...
Shahnaz says:
goodness no i am so NOT a hatch back person
Fahad !!!! says:
n it is one of the most beautiful hatchbacks ... ever made... n is the best in that field of cars...
Fahad !!!! says:
welll i m not into hatchbacks as well
Fahad !!!! says:
but this one changed my mind...
Shahnaz says:
i like a slinky ride
Shahnaz says:
smooth.... sexy.... fast...!!
Fahad !!!! says:
it goes upto 240kph ....
Shahnaz says:
but is it slinky
Fahad !!!! says:
hmmm....
Fahad !!!! says:
hmmm....forget the golf then ...lets talk about mustangs :P
Fahad !!!! says:
its not dat slinky ...
Shahnaz says:
or.... then i go the other way for a complete rugged look
Fahad !!!! says:
more of a bulgy one ...
Shahnaz says:
like offroading vehicles- open top jeeps....
Fahad !!!! says:
hmmm.....
Shahnaz says:
i know i am extreme!! all the way man....
Fahad !!!! says:
WRANGLER is the best one for that purpose :D
Shahnaz says:
sigh...
Fahad !!!! says:
WRANGLER JEEP !!!
Shahnaz says:
it is a sexy truck!
Fahad !!!! says:
we had that one ... though i never got to drive it but then again ..
Fahad !!!! says:
we went from karachi to islamabad on it:D
Fahad !!!! says:
had loads n loads of fun !!
Shahnaz says:
i can't believe i am talking cars with you
Fahad !!!! says:
hahah... neither can i :D
Fahad !!!! says:
i mean i know i love cars... but to know about someone whom i admire ... ]
Shahnaz says:
i can't talk cars with many people
Fahad !!!! says:
u know there is this guy who happens to host a show regardin cars n all....
Shahnaz says:
not everyone loves cars you know....
Shahnaz says:
i love harley davidsons too
Fahad !!!! says:
i added him n u so i could talk to u regardin ur fields...
Fahad !!!! says:
n now look .. m not at all talkin to him regardin this n instead m talkin to u :D
Fahad !!!! says:
HARLEYS ROCK !!!
Shahnaz says:
i do not like sport bikes... i love cruising bikes though!
Fahad !!!! says:
hmmm
Fahad !!!! says:
well there is this one company known as ORANGE COUNTY CHOPPERS :D
Fahad !!!! says:
they make the best americans choppers !!!
Fahad !!!! says:
love their work .. paint jobs n all...
Fahad !!!! sends:

Fahad !!!! would like to share this background with you.

Fahad !!!! says:
hope m not much of a bother to u !!!
Fahad !!!! says:
cos m sure u must b busy in ur bloggin n rest of the stuff...so plzzz do let me know ...
Shahnaz says:
are you kidding i was typing up an assignment and then we are talking CARS
Fahad !!!! says:
LOL...
Fahad !!!! says:
to be frank ... i had NEVER EVER IMAGINED that i would be talkin CARS to u too :D
Fahad !!!! says:
i mean firstly i had 100000 thoughts before addin u up ...
Shahnaz says:
i type with three fingers so trust me cars are really special to get me type so much for them
Fahad !!!! says:
hahahah.... that's wonderful !!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
but u type really fast thats for sure
Shahnaz says:
100,000 thoughts
Shahnaz says:
i do.... :P i peck very efficiently!
Shahnaz says:
that's a lot of thoughts

Fahad !!!! says:
i guess i can see that !!!
Fahad !!!! says:
well when u admire someone so mcuh
Shahnaz says:
hmmmm well it's just ittle old me
Shahnaz says:
nothing special
Fahad !!!! says:
hmmm..
Fahad !!!! says:
for u that might a single drama n then a normal life thingy
Fahad !!!! says:
but for so many ppl .. it wasnt just that
Fahad !!!! says:
i mean i myself have seen only 3 dramas that i can go on watchin again n again ...
Fahad !!!! says:
1-alpha bravo charlie....2- dhuwan and the thrid being dhoop kinaray :D
Fahad !!!! says:
n then to find u on the internet ,,,,
Fahad !!!! says:
its tuff u know .... to just act NORMAL :P
Shahnaz says:
NORMAL though!
Shahnaz says:
lol
Fahad !!!! says:
lol.....
Shahnaz says:
oh goodness don't act ABNORMAL
Fahad !!!! says:
okies :D
Shahnaz says:
lol
Fahad !!!! says:
well .... atleast now that i have got a bigger circle of people who talk CARS ... so no need to go crazy :D
Shahnaz says:
i do not like yellow for cars
Fahad !!!! says:
this is not yellow...
Shahnaz says:
nor red too flashy
Shahnaz says:
what is it
Fahad !!!! says:
its white ...
Fahad !!!! says:
lights have had that weird effect on it ...
Fahad !!!! says:
cream white ....
Fahad !!!! says:
this is nissan skyline 350z by the way :)
Shahnaz says:
what? that is so not creme
Shahnaz says:
nah creme is too bland
Fahad !!!! says:
pearl white ..... to be exact !
Shahnaz says:
let me think a minute in terms of car and color....
Shahnaz says:
mustang convertible
Shahnaz says:
gun metal gray
Fahad !!!! says:
was just nto gettin the correct color name :P
Shahnaz says:
SCREAMS attitude!!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
ahh.. i love that color...
Fahad !!!! says:
have u seen that movie GONE IN 60 SECONDS ?!?!!?
Shahnaz says:
ya haH!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
that was the day when i feel in love with the STANG :D
Shahnaz says:
that mustang was B. E. A. U. TIFul
Fahad !!!! says:
fell*
Fahad !!!! says:
that was the ONE n ONLY 1967 ford mustang GT 500 :D
Shahnaz says:
awesome car
Fahad !!!! says:
n i want CRAZY when they crush it up so badly
Shahnaz says:
i just drooled and imagined myself behind the wheel.... woo hoo!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
i was like DUDE !!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ..GIVE IT TO ME !!!
Shahnaz says:
such a rush!
Fahad !!!! says:
YES :D
Fahad !!!! says:
n i love DODGE !!!
Shahnaz says:
ohh the VIPER
Fahad !!!! says:
SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET MACHINE !!!
Shahnaz says:
!!
Fahad !!!! says:
especially the HENNESSEY 800tt !!!
Shahnaz says:
those should always be black!
Fahad !!!! says:
YES !!!
Shahnaz says:
have you seen the spyder
Shahnaz says:
i forget what company makes them
Fahad !!!! says:
maserati spyder ?!
Shahnaz says:
spyder is a maserati
Shahnaz says:
???
Fahad !!!! says:
yes ...
Shahnaz says:
that was another one i stopped to look at
Fahad !!!! says:
there is this ferrari modena spyder too !!
Fahad !!!! says:
:P...
Shahnaz says:
hmmm dunno which one it was
Shahnaz says:
it was awesome
Fahad !!!! says:
okies...
Shahnaz says:
i was waking downtown on my way to lunch and saw it outside a restaurant
Shahnaz says:
awesome
Fahad !!!! says:
unfortunately maseratis arent available over here
Shahnaz says:
stunning!!!
Shahnaz says:
it was black and sleek... if it could have spoken to me it would have PURRRRRRRRRED!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
hmm... thats maserati for sure then :D
Shahnaz says:
i knew exactly what dress i would wear and what heels when i stepped out from the drivers side!!
Fahad !!!! says:
its a sister hood company of FERRARI u know !!!
Shahnaz says:
it was a good moment
Fahad !!!! says:
indeed !!!
Fahad !!!! says:
welll the one i love the most is FERRARI F430 !!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
i would sell my house for it ..
Fahad !!!! says:
i mean the car is SOMETHING !!!
Shahnaz says:
i would sell my soul!!
Fahad !!!! says:
lol ... now you're talking :D
Shahnaz says:
i saw a teal colored ferari (used) for sale
Fahad !!!! says:
how much ?!
Shahnaz says:
it was like $25000
Fahad !!!! says:
hmmm...
Fahad !!!! says:
is it still for sale !?!?:D
Shahnaz says:
i debated buying it
Shahnaz says:
forget retirement account
Fahad !!!! says:
hmmm...NICE !!!
Fahad !!!! says:
LOL !!!
Shahnaz says:
then i called my dad
Shahnaz says:
and asked him
Shahnaz says:
he told my mom i was thinking about it
Shahnaz says:
she called and lectured
Shahnaz says:
dad called and said marry my business partner's son and he can buy it for you
Shahnaz says:
lol
Fahad !!!! says:
haahhahahaha
Fahad !!!! says:
u know i have this dream wich m sure wil come true .... for sure Insha'Allah that even if i had to wait for a whole life to buy a ferrari .... will for surely do that u know !!!
Shahnaz says:
me too
Shahnaz says:
i kow i'm getting one
Fahad !!!! says:
hmm...
Shahnaz says:
that's why i say
Fahad !!!! says:
COOOL !!!
Shahnaz says:
"when i'm rich and famous"
Shahnaz says:
not if
Fahad !!!! says:
does that guy have a sister ?!?!:P
Shahnaz says:
he does
Shahnaz says:
FIFI
Fahad !!!! says:
LOVELY NAME !!!
Shahnaz says:
it's fatima
Shahnaz says:
fifi
Fahad !!!! says:
ive already got a crush on it :P
Shahnaz says:
it's her nick
Fahad !!!! says:
lol....
Fahad !!!! says:
well... i dont wanna take shortcuts of such kind
Shahnaz says:
me either
Fahad !!!! says:
that's y i would wait for a whole life... cos that's worth even more !
Shahnaz says:
i want to get my own damn car
Fahad !!!! says:
yeah so do i !
Shahnaz says:
although if dad's buying i won't say no
Shahnaz says:
but dad is the only man who can buy me stuff
Fahad !!!! says:
cos money can buy u a car... either by hook or by crook .. but when u OWN sumthin .. that is just a PRICELESS MOMENT u know :D
Shahnaz says:
well
Fahad !!!! says:
ahan .. nice...
Shahnaz says:
like i say dad can buy it for me :P
Fahad !!!! says:
hahahha....
Shahnaz says:
lol
Fahad !!!! says:
well in that case i already have a car...
Fahad !!!! says:
but ... its a toyota corolla :P
Shahnaz says:
i have no pride when it comes to my dad
Fahad !!!! says:
u know how the PATHANS back here love the toyota family :D
Shahnaz says:
i once bought jimmy choos for 1500 and then panicked and called dad and said don't tell ami but you just bought me 1500 dollar jimmy choos
Shahnaz says:
i am pathan
Shahnaz says:
so is my dad
Shahnaz says:
lol
Shahnaz says:
btw my dad is into cars too
Fahad !!!! says:
WOW !!!
Shahnaz says:
when we were younger he owned merc, citreon, jeep
Fahad !!!! says:
i know u r a pathan :)
Shahnaz says:
he got the really funky ones
Fahad !!!! says:
COoL !!!
Shahnaz says:
yeah the citreon was real funky
Fahad !!!! says:
lol...
Shahnaz says:
it took a while to get up off the ground
Fahad !!!! says:
i have never liked the CITROEN !!
Shahnaz says:
bentley was what we kept the longest time
Fahad !!!! says:
they have always got that TOY kinda look u know !!
Fahad !!!! says:
:-O
Shahnaz says:
i hate that chrysler came up with the bentley rip offf
Fahad !!!! says:
i love bentley !!
Fahad !!!! says:
ohh u mean the chrysler 300c !
Shahnaz says:
my dad looked regal in the bentley
Fahad !!!! says:
yeah ... bentley is for the ELITE CLASS u know !
Shahnaz says:
he would wear these armani suits and he looked tres chic
Fahad !!!! says:
COOL !!!
Shahnaz says:
he was a shar dresse
Shahnaz says:
now he is a malang banda
Fahad !!!! says:
lol... howcome ?
Shahnaz says:
he has outgrown the flashy phase
Fahad !!!! says:
hmm.. nice :D
Shahnaz says:
it means nothing to him
Shahnaz says:
it is
Shahnaz says:
he has a sunnati beard and he has not a care about how he looks but he still has a wicked sense of fun
Shahnaz says:
love my dad
Fahad !!!! says:
that's nice to hear :D
Shahnaz says:
it is.....
Fahad !!!! says:
hope he gets well soon !!!
Shahnaz says:
me too
Shahnaz says:
it's hard being far away from my family
Fahad !!!! says:
then we'll all talk about cars :D
Fahad !!!! says:
will have a car blog :D:P
Shahnaz says:
we should!
Fahad !!!! says:
yeah iknow ... !!
Fahad !!!! says:
i mean just a thought of gettin away from my family freaks me out
Shahnaz says:
i should post this
Shahnaz says:
lol
Shahnaz says:
regarding cars
Fahad !!!! says:
specially after watchin this movie (TAARE ZAMEEN PAR) of another person i admire the most AAMIR KHAN
Fahad !!!! says:
lol.....
Shahnaz says:
i have not seen that
Shahnaz says:
but someone recommended it
Fahad !!!! says:
ahh u should watch it
Shahnaz says:
send me taht pic
Fahad !!!! says:
which one ?
Fahad !!!! says:
:S
Shahnaz says:
the one in the window
Shahnaz says:
i'm going to post this conversation
Shahnaz says:
with your permission of course
Fahad !!!! says:
the one in wich u thought ive got a beer in it :P
Shahnaz says:
yeah hahaha lol
Fahad !!!! says:
u dont need to ask permission ... please....
Fahad !!!! says:
just order :P
Shahnaz says:
i so do
Fahad !!!! says:
ok m sendin it to u then
Shahnaz says:
it is your privacy dude
Shahnaz says:
it is so great to chat cars
Shahnaz says:
fast cars rock!
Shahnaz says:
car conversations rock!

Fahad !!!! says:
m like an open book:)
Shahnaz says:
me too.. lol
Fahad !!!! says:
i dont keep stuff to myself u know ...
Fahad !!!! says:
i get stomach aches if i do that :D
Fahad !!!! says:
u know the worst part is ...
Fahad !!!! says:
my sisters dont like em tellin them stuf that has ahppened to me n all :D
Shahnaz says:
well my real deep self only real close to me folks know
Fahad !!!! says:
so they r all like OH GREAT he must've see/done sumthin n now we r to listen to it :P
Shahnaz says:
but my blog gets pretty close to many things but by no means ALL things!
Shahnaz says:
lol
Fahad !!!! says:
lol..
Fahad !!!! says:
ofcourse !
Shahnaz says:
yeah you the talker then hunh
Fahad !!!! says:
hahaha yeah ...
Fahad !!!! says:
theat'
Shahnaz says:
folks go "eye roll" here he comes.... quick lets go hide hehehehe....
Fahad !!!! says:
u know m not so sure whwther u would agree or not
Fahad !!!! says:
but u have so many thigs in common ..with me
Fahad !!!! says:
HAHAHAHAH
Shahnaz says:
i know i am a HUGE talker
Fahad !!!! says:
n my frnds r like
Shahnaz says:
my brother was so happy once when i got laryngitis!
Fahad !!!! says:
faddy ( dats the nick name they ahve given me ) plzz u can talk anaythign except cars :D
Shahnaz says:
i could not talk for two days
Shahnaz says:
no voice
Shahnaz says:
he loved it!
Fahad !!!! says:
lol....he sounds so like my sisters :D
Shahnaz says:
why ruin a good thing?
Shahnaz says:
CARS .... fast cars are AWESOME!!!
Fahad !!!! says:
yeha ...
Shahnaz says:
nah he flies fighter planes
Shahnaz says:
he is a real thing
Shahnaz says:
imagine the rush
Fahad !!!! says:
whenevr i hang out with my frnds n i see sum car .. they go like faddy is kay specs batao is ka chassis number kitni fuel peeti hia:P
Shahnaz says:
fast cars
Fahad !!!! says:
:|
Fahad !!!! says:
fast cars would b like SNAILS to him :P
Shahnaz says:
imagine fighter planes
Shahnaz says:
they are
Fahad !!!! says:
WOW !!!
Shahnaz says:
lol i know
Fahad !!!! says:
that's even more AWESOME !!!
Shahnaz says:
my bro is super cool
Shahnaz says:
love him to death
Fahad !!!! says:
now that's a super duper family u got Masha'Allah !!!
Shahnaz says:
i sure have a fantastic family
Shahnaz says:
they are my solid rock support!
Fahad !!!! says:
indeed they r !!! :D
Shahnaz says:
well faddy me dear
Shahnaz says:
me best be off...
Fahad !!!! says:
yeah i was about to sya the same
Fahad !!!! says:
as i have my university tomorrow
Fahad !!!! says:
:0
Fahad !!!! says:
:)
Shahnaz says:
bubba jee just challenged me to parcheezi and i have to go beat her at it
Shahnaz says:
(at least try!!)
Shahnaz says:
i never win with her....
Fahad !!!! says:
it was justa PRICELESS conversation that i have evr had with anyone :D
Shahnaz says:
bye
Fahad !!!! says:
:)
Fahad !!!! says:
bye !!!
Shahnaz says:
:)