People have often asked me how I can still smile and demonstrate kindness to those who have wronged me in such a convincing manner. My response is, "I am convinced that they are deserving of my kindness." Most times they will shrug and walk away. Some will give me a look that says yeah right, like you mean that... some will even thing that I am terribly sly and can act very well. Some however will look me in the eye, think for a moment and then ask what I mean.
You see, the thing is that when we refuse to forgive people we hold on to them. We carry them along like a heavy burden that poisons our soul and festers our spirit. Forgiving them on the other hand, requires that you embrace all of them- their flaws, faults, wrongs against you and all. Once you have done that you accept them. Then you forgive them. Then you let them go. Quite like blowing a feather into the air you just let them/it/anger/hate/vengeance go. Just like that.
You take a deep breath and suddenly the world seems brighter, the air is sweeter and you are no longer burdened. It does not mean that the wrong doing or the hurt is undone. It just means that you can happily coexist with that. The bad that the person did to you no longer has the power to poison your soul. Your soul has laid that beast to rest.
It is almost like coating the anger hurt and pain with a soothing, enveloping balm of forgiveness so that the bad no longer stings you. Imagine a thorny bush. You really cannot sit on it can you? Now imagine covering the bush with a nice thick blanket. It is a lot easier to sit on the bush now that it is covered. The blanket does not make the bush go away... it just makes it easier for you and the bush to coexist. The anger, hurt and pain that someone caused you do not have to be deleted as a product of forgiveness. The forgiveness is just the blanket that makes it softer, easier, more bearable to live with it all.
Go ahead, forgive today. Lay to rest one ghost who causes you pain and anguish. Blow out into the wind one feeling that festers in your soul. Take a deep breath and step out into your fresh new life a happier, lighter person.