Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Ek ehsaas reh Gaya hai...

Meray jootaun pay Peshawar ki gard aur mitti reh gayee hai
Sansoon may kuch shaheedon ki maon ki kushboo reh gayee hai
Kanon may pyaray bachon ki khikhilati hansi ki awaz reh gayi hai
Dil may un sab ki muhabbat aur chahat ka ehsas reh Gaya hai
Meri rooh bay ikhtiyar reh gayi hai
Ummeed reh gayee hai, aansoo reh gayay hain
Hawah may sakit- chand alfaaz reh gayay hain
Ek darwaza Meray laut nay Kay intizar may khula reh Gaya hai
Meray dil ki dharkan may
Peshawar Kay dil Kay dharaknay ki ahat reh gayi hai
Kuch yaadain reh gayee hain
Bay inteha pyaar reh Gaya hai
Peshawar Teri yaad reh gayi hai
Dil may ek ehsaas reh Gaya hai

Monday, January 12, 2015

Inside and outside

The price of fame
A life...

What they see
My outside

Who I am
My inside

Monday, January 5, 2015


The year my heart was torn asunder

I tried without success to blog before the new year rolled in-

I could not. 
How can one begin to describe a year of heartbreak?

I lost myself in 2014.
Lost everything I ever was or thought I was
Every last bit of Shahnaz vaporized as I clawed at thin air trying to hold on to something, anything that would give me a sense of something solid.

The dissolution started with many things and culminated in the carnage of Gaza.

My heart has never known such agony. My soul was incinerated over and over until it was cleansed and only truth and awareness remained. 

I cannot remember who I was very clearly. I just know I am not that anymore...

I like the new me. It is a raw me. An organic state with nothing to hide. I am!
I taste a fierce passion raging like a storm in my soul and it heats my blood. I realize I am something wild. My pulse throbs in my ear with the sound of truth and I care not if I am the only one that utters it, I shall speak. And speak it loud.

Not much of anything has any value to me anymore- save love, and truth and right action with right heart. 

Everything else is just dust.

2014 was a year of reckoning. I was incinerated into dust and my essence purified. 

Face down on the ground I surrendered to Him that is my maker and He took me in and made me whole-