Curtain fall

After all was said and done

The charade played out

The false pleasantries dispensed with

And the act seen through 'till curtain fall

Time slows down 

And I am content 

To just sit 

And be

Surrounded in warmth 

And genuine love

My mama bear

"I wish nani was here tonight, putting on her rollers and her Ponds creme smelling like her nani smell...she smells sooooo good! And I could just snuggle into her. I miss her!"

~Bug

And of late I miss her all the time too! I've spent more than half my life living away from her and I've not even hit forty yet! 

I finally begin to know and understand her, as I walk the life states she walked before me. I miss you mama duck!

❤️

Never gonna break

Momentous moments that are unexpectedly accompanied by their own soundtrack in my life..,

Today was bittersweet, poignant and reflective of the grace that surrounds me and carries me on gentle wings.

Never gonna break

Never gonna break

Never gonna break

~Bon Iver

https://youtu.be/TV76rS94-x8

Walking on coals

If it looks like I'm not affected

That is my strength not my indifference

If your cruelties meet with my understanding 

That is my compassion not my stupidity

If your selfishness meets my generosity

That is my grace not your victory

You are a fool to think

The things you do

I have walked barefoot 

On flaming coals

My spirit in unbroken

Unbreakable still

You shadow box with your own demons

I made love with mine

Joy

In the universe are signs

Seek and you shall find them

I have always been intuitive to the whisperings of my soul

If I focus enough and meditate on it

I find so much information, it is at times eerie.

Prayerful harmony

Blissful joy!

NUR

The darkness is not a place you were put to be forgotten

The darkness is there to show you your inner light

In the darkest of places you will find HIM

Faith hope and love

A state of non attachment 

Will lead you to joy...

Like waves on the shore

That come and go

So do life events

They will pass through

Porosity will ensure

Steadfastness

Akin to the unbreakable heart

That feels all

And let's all go

Emotions flow through

Like visitors 

Welcome them all

Let none rule you

Save three

Faith

Hope

And Love

Teri Shan Kay Aagay

Aik ansoo baha

Sajday main

Jholi phalayi

Rab teray aagay

Koi aasra nahi

Teray sewa

Sabr kiya

Karti rahi

Sehra mai pyasi 

Talaash rahi

Har mor pay 

Zam zam ki mujhay

Barsaat bhi to

Aanay ok hai

Kuch roz aur hi sahi

Seh lengay hum

Pyas hi to hai

Teri Shan Kay aagay

Bandi kurban hi to hai

Prayer for tonight

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

Courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

Grant me the humility to bend into the storm

Faith to hold on in the roaring tide

And perseverance to pick up the pieces and start again

Oh my mama told me

Here I lay holding my child in my arms

Hunger only for the peace in my heart

While Tracy Chapman croons on

Feeling utterly blessed

Lyrics

Oh my mama told me 
'Cause she say she learned the hard way 
Say she want to spare the children 
She say don't give or sell your soul away 
'Cause all that you have is your soul

Don't be tempted by the shiny apple 
Don't you eat of a bitter fruit 
Hunger only for a taste of justice 
Hunger only for a world of truth 
'Cause all that you have is your soul

I was a pretty young girl once 
I had dreams I had high hopes 
I married a man he stole my heart away 
He gave his love but what a high price I paid 
And all that you have is your soul

Don't be tempted by the shiny apple 
Don't you eat of a bitter fruit 
Hunger only for a taste of justice 
Hunger only for a world of truth 
'Cause all that you have is your soul

Why was I such a young fool 
Thought I'd make history 
Making babies was the best I could do 
Thought I'd made something that could be mine forever 
Found out the hard way one can't possess another 
And all that you have is your soul

Don't be tempted by the shiny apple 
Don't you eat of a bitter fruit 
Hunger only for a taste of justice 
Hunger only for a world of truth 
'Cause all that you have is your soul

I thought, thought that I could find a way 
To beat the system 
To make a deal and have no debts to pay 
I'd take it all take it all I'd run away 
Me for myself first class and first rate 
But all that you have is your soul

Don't be tempted by the shiny apple 
Don't you eat of a bitter fruit 
Hunger only for a taste of justice 
Hunger only for a world of truth 
'Cause all that you have is your soul

Here I am I'm waiting for a better day 
A second chance 
A little luck to come my way 
A hope to dream a hope that I can sleep again 
And wake in the world with a clear conscience and clean hands 
'Cause all that you have is your soul

Don't be tempted by the shiny apple 
Don't you eat of a bitter fruit 
Hunger only for a taste of justice 
Hunger only for a world of truth 
'Cause all that you have is your soul

Oh my mama told me 
'Cause she say she learned the hard way 
Say she want to spare the children 
She say don't give or sell your soul away 
'Cause all that you have is your soul

All that you have 
All that you have 
All that you have 
Is your soul

Shedding old skin

Shedding old skin 

All thoughts die away

Dissolve into nothing

Wisps on the wind

Giants fade to dust

Fear drops away

When the worst they could do to you

Is done

It's like shedding old skin

You step out of it 

And simply walk away

Grace- at the end of the road

When you arrive at the end of the road to the point of no return, there is a deafening silence. You can see with absolute clarity the indisputable truth. It solemnly states itself. It is neither dramatic nor loud. Sans fanfare it is just 'there'. No solutions are apparent. You've already given all you had. There is no turning back because behind you lies only unhappiness. And yet you cannot step forward because before you lies a bottomless ocean. There is nothing more you can do...A strange calmness envelops you in its embrace. There is a resignation. An acceptance-of that which is. Simply is.

At this moment dear human take a breath.

Pause.

Laugh.

Feel giddy with euphoria...

Because, dear one, only magnificence lies before you at this point.

One of two things can happen.

You will either be taught how to walk on water, or you will be given wings to fly!

(The universe will never throw you, where grace will not catch you O faithful one.)

Out of your reach

You ask me about my strength

You wonder how I got it

And what it is that makes me tick

And keep on ticking 

Even after I take a licking

I fought a monkey when I was five

I fought a mugger at ten

At nine I was held at gunpoint

At eleven my family split

At fourteen I struggled with relatives

Who always saw me as troublesome

Because I called out their bullshit

At nineteen I was wed

At twenty two I was a mother

At twenty six I was divorced

And then I took some lovers

Who ripped my heart to shreds 

So I left the lovers and learned how to sew myself together

Somewhere along the way I got some degrees

Somewhere along the way I fell and cried and picked myself up again

My bones tell the tale

Of all my aches and pains

Unspoken wails sit in the tight knots of my muscles

And the smile on my face hides the tears

That I hold back sometimes for days

You wonder at my calm

And at my joy

Before there was calm

There were screams for days

Before there was joy

I wept an ocean

You see me stand tall

And you see me laugh

And in your entitlement

You seek to judge

You try to break me down

Sometimes for sport

Sometines you stand in awe of me

Some days you fear me

It will take more than you to break me

More than you to make me fall

Not in your lifetime will I crumble

Never before you kow tow

Maybe that is what frightens you

Maybe that's why you judge

Maybe that is why you try to break me

Hoping that before you I will bow

Strength is earned 

By each fall we take

Courage is an internal state

Joy is a choice

I will not break in your lifetime

Try as you might

I will be like water 

Slip through your fist

The tighter you try to squeeze me

I'll melt away

Out of reach

This is my skin- the one I was born in

Today I learned anew about hate

Today I was reminded again that while I try to practice love...

Some only feel hate

Today I saw the insides

Insides of people I call friends 

Today I learned that while I am called friend

My friends cannot love me

Or my color 

Or my skin 

Today I learned that hate is colorblind

But that the colorblind 

Can still see the color 

White

Today I felt the racial divide

And I was still so surprised

That the blood of colored folk

Is cheap

Today I learned that some

Are blind

They will deny

The truth of their eyes

It is easier 

To dehumanize

And blame 

A victim

For their own execution

Today I heard an argument

That exhausts my soul

Today I was told

Of the difficulty of a cop's job

I was reminded that 

They risk their lives 

Everyday

And they would not listen 

That it's a fact

I do not deny,

Never have, in fact

A cop is brave

A cop risks all

A cop's life is of value

I honor them

Their life is of value

And so is the life

Of a brother 

Who too was slain,

But yet again

The same refrain

"He should have listened...

Should have done as he was told"

And even as they speak

They do not listen

To the pain

Of my brother 

To my pain

And today I wondered

When it was thrown in my face

"Do you realize how dangerous it is to be a cop?"

And I asked

"Do you realize how dangerous it is to be black, or brown?"

Being a cop is a choice, you see

It is chosen knowing well the risk it entails...

You are trained

You are paid

To be a cop

You choose it and are under oath to serve and protect 

All

Black and brown as well as white

Do you realize how dangerous it is to be colored?

To be in my skin? 

It is my skin

The one I was born in

And I am enslaved

And hunted and discriminated against

And I'm damned if I don't

And damned if I do

Because of the color of my skin

But they would not hear me...

I wept for my brother and for another human brother- a true cop, a protector 

But they could not even weep for me

Or for my brother 

Only for those

They chose 

And yet

My brother they never chose 

Today I wonder...

How can you call me friend

If you do not see me

And my skin

It is my skin

The one

I was born in

You say you do not see color

The color of skin

Claim that you are colorblind

And yet you see white

And you see blue

Selectively colorblind...

Is what that is

Today I wonder...

How can you call me friend

If you cannot feel my pain

Or my outrage

If I am disenfranchised from my grief

Because you claim

Yours deserves more fame

Today I wonder...

How can you claim

I am as free and equal

When you laugh and blame

When those of color like me are slain

And the only pain you feel is for you

And you challenge

Even my right to mourn

My fallen brother

As well as the cop

Who is fallen

And whom I honor and mourn 

Equally

I only question the cop

As is my right to question 

The cop-

Who should always be

Only my brother's defender

And not the one at whose hands 

My brother is slain

Today I wonder

If I can feel for both

Equally

And mourn both

Equally

Then why is it impossible

For you 

To do the same

Why are you

Unable to mourn

Equally

For me

And my color

And my skin 

The one that I was born in

It is the only one I have

It is mine

To live in

Everyday

And since

My friend

You cannot

See me

Or my color

Or my skin

Today I honor

Myself

I honor my

Skin

And that of my brother

Today I write for that purpose 

Today

I honor

The truth

That I am not

Colorblind

Today I honor

The truth

That this is my skin

And it may hold no value

For you

But that minor detail 

Can never

Devalue

My color

My honor

My skin

The one 

I was born in

Alton Sterling

There are events in life that are physically far removed from you and yet they are so personal that they cause your knees to buckle underneath you, crippling you emotionally, physically and mentally.

Events that leave you debilitated with shock

anger

grief

horror

disbelief

disgust

more anger

rage even

and pain...

So

Much 

Pain

#AltonSterling

Baby can I hold you tonight

Songs that tug at my heart 

...baby if I told you the right words at the right time you'd be mine...

Tracy Chapman

I sit with the quiet ache in my heart

A smoldering 

A yearning

A longing

For no one in particular

It is a feeling

That is mine 

Deep within

A passion 

I can ignite anytime I choose

But there is an excitement 

A quickening of the heartbeat

Butterflies wings

Making me want to spin 

And dance

I break into a smile

Filled to the brim 

With 

Joie de Vivre

Songs that tug at my heart

Songs that ignite

Sisters raise your sons and daughters

Who raised these men?

Who seek to rescue me

Own me

Control me

And ridicule me?

Who raised these men?

Who talk down to my friends and fawn and gush

And can't seem to compliment anything but their looks- physical attributes...

Who raised these men?

Who don't realize the skill

And talent and brains 

Of the women they behold daily 

Who raised these men

Who dishonor and rape

And beat and yet think

It is their strength they uphold?

Who raised them?

Who raised these men?

Where are my sisters?

Too busy in gossip

Too busy ripping other women apart

Too busy competing with each other

For a man's attention

Who are you sir?

You put down my friend

And compliment me?

She and I are one you see

Disrespect her and you disrespect me

What happened to mothers?

How did theses men

Birthed from wombs

Learn how to spit in a woman's face?

Wake up my sister!

Chastise your son!

He mistreats a woman

He mistreats you!

Wake up my sister!

You watch him cheat

He cheats with you

If he cheats on her

He cheats on you

Wake up my sister

Help me up

If you put me down

You put you down too

Be a woman, dear sister 

Rise!

Speak!

Dear sister 

Raise your spirit

Raise your sons

Raise your daughters

Raise you too

Locke- mentor, friend and fellow human

I cannot do funerals. 

 I'm not good at goodbye's I never have been. I'm even worse with the goodbye's I did not get to say.

 I went over conversations and looked through all my emails and text messages from Don Locke, and sat with my thoughts for a while. 

I am trying to find some peace and one email in particular, is the one I'm holding on too.

We were sky divers, Don Locke and I. We talked of risk taking and standing for what we believe no matter the cost, and we talked of life! The LIVING part of life, the part where you must live- loud, proud and unafraid, owning who you are and what you are!

We had talked of bucket lists too- And today amid my tears I hope he got every last check mark on his...

And it seems fitting to use a skydiving term to wish my dear friend good bye- 

BLUE SKIES DON...

Fly high!

Milk and honey- the night she read to me

The words she reads

Echo my life

Her life

We weep

This child of mine

Is exquisite

And her soul

Divine

We talk through

The book she reads

I know why 

She weeps

We speak of fathers

Of lovers 

Of love

Of self love 

She tells me 

I'm strong

I tell her

YOU make me strong

She finds herself afraid

And excited to grow

To be

Like me

I am content

To be me

And having a daughter

Who wants to be like me

I am 

I begin to see

Exactly where the universe

Intended me to be

Way to God

I thought back to the days we played together...

We laughed

We cried 

We grew up together

And now it's hard to recall

We once were that way

In judgement now

He stands before me

With a verdict on his lips

He who I have always fought for

He who never fought for me

How fast the times change

How it stings the most 

When those that hurt you

You love the most

And so it goes

You judge me

Shall I judge you too?

For judging me...

It's easier for me

Now to forgive

Your ignorance 

I'm exhausted from speaking

Always saying my piece

You will believe 

What you choose to believe

It's easier for me

To simply walk away

There's your way

And my way

And how many wars will we wage

Over the ways

That lead to God?

Mothers and daughters

Chats with her mother are the most important conversations a daughter can have.

I'm 38 and most days all that is needed is a mama duck chat to get my brain right again.

A few days ago, Mama Duck says to me

"You are who you are because you have been through a lot..."

And just like that I remember who I am and why the struggle is necessary. 

Adversity is a catalyst for growth. 

And then I surrender and fall into the whirlwind that only a moment ago frightened me. Only this time it isn't fear, but resilience, awareness and a quiet confidence that I feel. A quiet sort of knowing that whatever is coming, I will face it and in the end I will overcome and be okay.

Meanwhile in another mama conversation - me with with my teen this morning...

Me- it's a hyper sexualized world you're growing up in

Bug- yup

Me- sex is a very natural and normal part of life you know

Bug- yup

Me- nothing to be ashamed of, quite normal to be attracted to people and for people to find you attractive 

Bug- I know mom...

Me- meanwhile attraction and all considered, your goodies are on lockdown! I mean if someone says 'you have great goodies', you tell them 'I know this- thank you. I like my goodies. They're my goodies! And just an FYI mate they are on lockdown. No goodies for you!!!'

Got it?

Bug- I got it. My goodies are on lock down!

Me- exactly! your goodies are on lockdown. If someone tries to get those goodies... I will go all psychomama on them!

Bug- oh I believe that!!!

Me- yup! I mean like seriously 

Bug- oh believe me I know!

And so it goes...

My mama reminds me that I must surrender into a whirlwind and I remind my bug that her goodies are on lockdown until further notice.

38 and 16

Different talks

Different lessons

Same wisdom!

Soul food

"Your soul has a voice

What matters is how quickly you answer it's call, and follow where it guides you"

When I answer my soul

I am happy

When I conform to an arbitrary world

I come undone

You may call me 

Out of line

Out of turn

Unrefined

In your world so blind...

But my soul and I are one

I can bear 

Your wrath

But my soul betray

I never can

I am a woman wild

My soul can not be tamed 

I dance at will

Free like the wind

I have no use

For your arbitrary ways

Ask me of the infinite wisdom

In the air

The earth

The waves...

My soul hears it all

The birds call

The heart's wail

No I have no place

For your arbitrary ways

I claim no fame

Seek no fortune

I own a treasure

Deep inside myself

Does my insolence

Antagonize

Does my free voice 

Rasp inside your brain

Does my dancing

Frighten you

Or my lack of shame

Make me 

Someone

You cannot tame

Did you think me

Property

To own

And mold

And rule

And break

I am a woman wild

I give life

I fear not

Your arbitrary ways

With each sunrise

I am reborn

You seek to ruin me

But I am a soul

You cannot

Unmake

My essence

It will remain

Long after your arbitrary ways

Bruised rose petals and concrete

Don't ask me why...

Ask me how-

How?

Unfailing courage.

Faith in your creator.

The humility to be ground into dust.

After all,

We all come from dust.

Hope- that when you've hit rock bottom,

the only thing left to do is begin to climb your way out.

Crawl if you must.

Bleed and break and fall if you must.

Weep if you must.

But climb,

CLIMB!!

You must...

And yet you ask

How?

Endless forgiveness.

Of self,

And of other.

The wisdom to falter

And yet,

To falter but never fail...

To fail you have to give up.

Falter.

But don't give up.

Never give up!

Let death happen,

But never give up.

As it stands,

Death comes to us all...

All die,

But few actually live.

Live!

And falter...

But never give up!

And still you ask

Never give up?

Never?

How???

Above all...

Endless love

Love that informs 

That to do anything but

Is not an option.

That is how...

Raising daughters...

It's a jungle out there.

Give them the skills they need to navigate it. 

Teach them:-

Love

Compassion 

Assertiveness

Singlemindedness of purpose

Courage

Humor

Playfulness

Forgiveness

The ability to let go

The desire to hold on

The worth of that which cannot be bought-

The value of a life, any life, every life

How to have fun

Authenticity

Truth

Fierceness

How to fight dirty when needed

Survival

How to bend with the storm

And above all

Joy-

Wisdom

The only hold others have over you is you holding on...

At some point you have to let go

And free yourself-

Mean hearts-

What emptiness of existence leads to a mean heart...?

After days of facing mean, I came home today bruised in spirit and soul.

"I want to read Chrysanthemum and play parcheesi!"

I told Bug!

"Let's do it she said..." Remembering her childhood tale about bullies who will try to snuff the joy out of a shining soul.

Sometimes the grown up world is full of bullies too!

So we read a bedtime story...

And it was divine.

And then I sang to her our song- 

-You are my sunshine...

And then we played our other song-

http://youtu.be/2OLpmPX5LVY

And lastly this one...

http://youtu.be/rd0R2IH1Eyc

And then it all settled into place. Perspective! 

Nothing else mattered but what I held in my arms this very moment!

This was life!

This mattered...

Not the fucking shit I've been dealing with!

This, here in my arms was life-

And I thought, what emptiness of spirit leads to such a mean heart!?

It did not matter to me anymore. They did not matter and neither did their actions.

Here in my arms was my universe intact!

How then could anything ever touch me?

When you are love and filled with love, hate and mean cannot touch you...

My blessing always, this beautiful treasure...

❤️

Philadelphia

I'm not quite sure when or how my heart starts to close off but it does.

I want to keep it open...wide open...

There was a man today playing conga drums outside the Reading Terminal Market. A homeless woman missing her two front teeth enjoyed and danced to the music. She was having so much fun!

I stood next to her and danced with her. She liked my red hair. I thought she was beautiful, how she enjoyed the music, lost in it. I told her I thought she was beautiful. We connected. She did not ask me for anything.

I returned to conferencing, exhilarated by the interaction. Later this evening, I wanted to show Bug the Market so I brought her to grab a bite. We bought some pastries after and thought we'd see the Liberty Bell and then head back to the hotel to rest and enjoy our pastries.

We headed off in the wrong direction and I wanted to step into a store to get directions. Outside the store, the homeless woman from earlier today saw me. She came over to talk and I told her I remembered her from earlier. I'm not sure if she remembered me, but she approached me and asked if I could spare some change. And that is when it happened. My brain process- I'm on a budget this trip- I need to buy Bug a car-I'm a single parent-I only had 20's in my wallet...

So I told her I was sorry and turned away.

(The night before last as I walked to the hotel in the cold, and saw the homeless huddled asleep by the grates for warmth, I thanked God for his blessings- that I was headed to a warm place to rest my head with a full belly. It was only a matter of chance I was not them and they were not me. I thought, tomorrow I should bring a box of food for them. The same thought crossed my mind when I walked to the conference this morning. The homeless were gone by then but I knew they'd be back by nightfall.)

Just now after a tasteless takeout order I did not want to eat is sitting outside my hotel room I am in turmoil. I am wasting food! Furthermore, I wasted money on food I did not eat. I wasn't even that hungry in the first place. I was just gluttonous and wanted... Food... Food that did not satisfy.

Was I hungry- no, it was just the desire that I might want some before I went off to bed.

Want

Gluttony

Desire

Not need...

The homeless woman today who asked me to help had a need! And I did not help her... I had other wants- a car for Bug, budgets, etc but not really "needs".

After all I had a car and we can share it. I had more than enough money to give the homeless woman but my heart was closed. 

And tonight this thought broke it open, and the breaking hurts. 

My guilt hurts.

I am glad it hurts.

The hurt means my heart is open.

And tomorrow if I see that woman I am taking her out to have lunch with me.

After all SHE gave me joy today- as she danced, and we briefly interacted. I took the joy she gave me, I was greedy. I needed that joy to brighten my closed off heart. I was also selfish and took without giving back!

And this thought makes me tear up because it hurts...

I am glad it hurts.

The hurt means my heart has opened again.

So this woman who I refused to help earlier helps me still, and opens my heart yet again for a second time today.

First with joy this afternoon

And now with sorrow and guilt and understanding and kindness and empathy.

She is a beautiful angel, and gave me so much! I hope she has a warm place to sleep tonight and some food in her belly...

I hope she will forgive me.

I ask my creator for forgiveness for not helping her today, but never again shall I be unwilling to help...

16 and the clock's ticking...

My little baby zebra wanders around prancing in her onesie, reminding me of the little toddler she used to be. This adorable creature, a joy and an aggravation by turns, holds my heart in her little hand- and can squeeze and make me wince or burst open with love at will.

So it is with unconditional, uncontrollable love. It is without volition. I love, and I exist to love... Her... Endlessly...

Of late each second is an ache since I don't have her for much longer. The clock ticks on and in less than two years my little Bug will fly off into the world. I catch my breath at the thought and savor each aggravation and each joyous moment, by turns frantic with worry that she isn't ready and I've not had time to teach her everything she should know, and also rapt at her excellence and profound wisdom for her young years.

Motherhood!

A more exquisite ache of loving I have never felt before...

My baby zebra smells like angels breath as she snuggles in my arms tonight.

I bask in the glow of blessed, heavenly love, the kind only a mother who holds her cub in her arms knows...

My little bug

My baby zebra

"Put those away" 

She said to me this morning as she was telling me a story and I bristled in protective indignation, my claws starting to show...

"I've retracted them", I replied,  "look! Mama bear, Black panther is all kitty soft paws now"

This amazing little human is love...is life, is meaning, and joy and blessing and existence....

And soon she will fly off and take on the world-

I love her and I miss her and I love her and I miss her...

And she's not even left yet! 

Each moment I have had her is imprinted in memory and she is the best of life and of me.

One does not just love a Bug-

One falls 

Irrevocably

Head over heels

IN LOVE

With a Bug

And my baby zebra, my angel, my love, my Bug holds my heart and soul firmly in her hand...

Force of nature

"...you were like a force of nature. I felt your presence and turned to watch as you walked by. You were focused, with an intensity of purpose, each step deliberate as you glided past with a casually confident air about you."

I laughed, a little surprised by this description of me. I know I have precision focus and when I want something I get it, one way or another. I just have to want it enough... But this description made me think-

Purpose is a must for me, and hardwork isn't daunting. It is to be expected. I despise mediocrity. I demand exceptional excellence, and will push for it.

I am willing to practice an art I committ to, endlessly, until it becomes second nature to me, executed with flawless ease. There is no other way in my book. I have to love it passionately or it's not worth the effort. If it's worth doing it's worth doing well! I have very high expectations and I'm not often disappointed in myself. I work hard to meet my expectations. I love that about me. If that makes me a force of nature I'm okay with that.

I believe that true human essence is a force of nature. If more humans worked hard to embody essence and free themselves from the shackles of ego, this world would be a better place.

Mediocrity is existing like an animal, a slave to the whims of ego. The art of living is aspiring towards essence. That highest form is what I aspire toward. Each day is a journey and a struggle with self. Each day is a lifetime in that effort.

Unbreakable

You must break

Over and over

Only that way can you discover

What is truly "Unbreakable" in you

And that part is your authentic self

Get to know it well

Listen to it

Turn up the volume 

When it speaks

Only this voice matters, the rest is an ego illusion

My new awareness...

I had to break

And break things

To have a break through,

And break free:-

Of some patterns

Out of a rut

Of ego prison

Of fear

Of pain

Of anger

Of expectation

Of entitlement 

Unbreakable is a good place to find myself today-

Woof! And Sparkles...

"They keep trying to dim her sparkle"

(Bug to the man who inquired why I was having a bad day...)

Sometimes in life there will be those who for whatever reason will decide to take out their misery on you, because you laugh harder than they do! 

It happens- walk on...

After all you have your life to live and you should live it out loud!

As Fritz Perls said,

"I do my thing and you do your thing.

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I,
and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped."

Moral of the story- sparkle on!