Sunday, December 6, 2009
How close am i?
Today
I cried an ocean
On the inside
Today
I cried for a child
The child within
Today
I sat in remorse
I sat in awareness
Today...
How close am I?
How close to getting it all
How close to losing it all
How close am I?
To you...
To me...
To getting you?
To losing you...
To getting me?
To losing me...
When you have defeated yourself for so long
When you have waged a war on yourself
When you have seen
And recognized
And sabotaged
And learned
And unlearned
And stumbled
And bled
And got up
And walked on
And fallen again
And again
How close am i?
To changing
Being
Same-ing
New-ing
...ing...
Any..."ing"...
How long is an eternity
What is the measure of a lifetime
What is distance
What is loss
What is gain
Who am I
What am I
Who was I
Who am I to be?
When the being happens
Where are you
Who are you
How close
How far
Are you losing me
Or am I losing me
Am I losing you
Or
Am I just lost?
At the moment of loss I am found
And yet in the finding I get lost...
How close am I to losing
How close am I to loss
How close am I?
Am I in love with loss
Is loss in love with me
Is loss a destination
Inevitability
Certainty
Fear
Truth
Reality
How close am I?
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8 comments:
Hey Shahnaz, sometimes you really say something that I've been thinking about on that day, like I was thinking of loss and that there is a sweetness about it becuase it liberates you but horrid, masochistic ego in us, or the convolutedness in us keeps us languishing over the loss. I think that we seek loss at times, when the object to be lost is hampering our well-being or personal growth. Or there's something else about freeing oneself and being for oneself in loss. Perhaps, it's to move on. I dunno... I can't articulate it because I can't figure it out much. Oh, perhaps loss teaches us something of, or we'd rather languish in freedom... I am not sure, once again. Well, I guess there's a happiness in languishing and you shouldn't make it painful by making yourself alone. Be with yourself, or with the idea of loss... I dunno. Yet, loss has to be liberating somehow. Sorry for the mixed up comment.
so cool Shahnaz
"How close am I?
How close to getting it all
How close to losing it all
How close am I?
To you...
To me...
To getting you?
To losing you...
To getting me?
To losing me..."
You keep oscillating in fixed spaces don't you? Is it time to get out of it, and breathe?
oyi u ok?
lot of depressed stuff here...
khair hai?
gimme a call !!!
There's a rule in motorcycle riding:
"The bike will always follow your eyes" So, watch where you point your eyes. ----- so it is with emotional living, too.
Saw Bert Wood, says you are doing great ! Glad to hear it.
Al
Al!!
How wonderful to hear from you. I miss the FAMILY so much-
Bert mentioned that you two had lunch the other day. I must schmooze some more and mozie my way into one of those lunch's sometime. It would be really nice to catch up with you again too.
I am so grateful for the words of wisdom-
As always... after I had said them over and over in my head several times- the message finally hit home!
You must have been an amazing clinician when you still practiced, I realized today, because that one statement showed me so much!
Thanks!
Where are you
Who are you
(The child within)
anyways still a lots of things
but wht can cover that all
is a silence
nice kick great going wots up
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