So I had lunch with Sophie today...
Functioning on 3 hours of sleep (I did the TWILIGHT premiere last night!) , I needed some solace. I needed some room to think and feel my heart... my soul.
I dressed up to do the Twilight premiere too BTW. It was a lot of fun.
I was introduced to the Twilight saga by the love of my life. He loved the books and the movies. He is a romantic sap that way. Me on the other hand- I have claws and I'm prickly... But around him I'm soft. Bug tells me that my voice sounds different when I talk to him. He says the same.
Our story is a lot like the Twilight saga. It is also like the "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind..."
There is this one point in the movie Twilight, where Bella states, "Nobody has ever loved anyone as much as I love you..." and Edward replies, "Well not NOBODY..." implying that he feels the same way about her... I just swooned at that line. I guess I am a silly romantic at heart- but that is how I feel towards my love- and how he states he feels towards me.
A year apart with both of us having stayed in our own individual therapy to work on us separately... we still return to "US"...
And US is a beautiful thing. Until it is not! At which point it is just painful. Excruciating... but no one else seems to have happened for me or for him and we are going on three years now! Not for a lack of trying to move on- on both our parts, mind you. It just does not seem to work with others.
Today while I sat by Sophie-
This song came on...and yes tears came! I had never heard it before. And it fit! I called him the other night after I had vowed never to do that ever again...
I called because my heart and soul were lonely!
Because I needed a place to "rest my head...."
And the only place I have EVER wanted to do that is in the space where his neck and shoulder meet... And I lay my left cheek in the crook of his arm on his right shoulder and nuzzle my nose into his smell... and it is the happiest place to me- in the whole wide world! That little spot...
He texed me the other day and stated that I am the only one he feels he can break in front of. That when emotion happens and he needs a safe place to "rest his head..." I am that place. I had tears when I read that text. And I had tears when I heard this today... And I looked at Sophie and started to text him and send him the song...I was hurting because he is far away from me and we have kept missing each other's calls since last night...and I ache for him...
As I texted he called-
My Eternal Sunshine-
...
I don't think I can find it...
Better than I had it!
All I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to lay my head
Whenever the end is
Do I think I can see it?
Well, until I get there
I'll go ahead and scream it
Just say it
All I need is
That place to lay my head...
"Say (All I Need)"
Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it
