I grow sick of people who think they know me. The real me.... the hidden me. ?????
They have no clue who the real me is. We all have facets, and layers, and visages, and several different angles to our prismatic selves. Flash a light through us and we make rainbows. Focus a light through us and we can set things aflame! We are are ever changing. A wise sage once said, "you never throw a rock into the same river twice..." things are in a constant state of flux and change. So you think you know me, well I just changed again.
All of me is the real me. Not only what you see when I am blubbering, or discombobulated. The composed, put together me is me also. The goofball is me. The risk taker is me. The happy as a clam is me. The depressed is me. And the risk averse person is me too. They are my angles, my shades, my layers, my complexities. And they are all 100% ME.
So let's do away with the labels, "real" and "unreal". ALL of it is US, in our various flavors....
25 comments:
hi dear, it was so nice to hear that u have understood that "All of me is the real me. Not only what you see when I am blubbering, or discombobulated. The composed, put together me is me also. The goofball is me. The risk taker is me. The happy as a clam is me. The depressed is me. And the risk averse person is me too. They are my angles, my shades, my layers, my complexities. And they are all 100% ME". if at all u remember me although that might be difficult as u must be receiving a lot of messages daily i wrote few words about u couple of weeks ago telling u that i had a crush on u . Remember me now??? well i told u earlier be ur self and enjoy ur life . Thats the best way to have a nice time. Take care and have a very nice day. Do post ur latest pictures on the blog as their some people who still love to see u.
Bye
first attempt to join this blog.
salam, i must admit auther has one god gifted imagination.its hard to find people among yourself to have such high imaginations. She writes as if she is flying in her dreams and writing simultaneously. truly impressive. i have seen auther acted in a pakistani drama and i must say she as confident and witty she played the role in that drama.
Great thinking and imagination. I really loved this piece (simple topic yet truly effective). i cant get how literary characters create miracles and build imaginations out of no where("you never throw a rock into the same river twice...").i tried but failed. i think its a god gifted thing.
much more important than dwelling over the meaning of the "100% me" is what the "100% me" does.
If you are the same person who wrote:
"Excessive self awareness often renders us unsure. The process of learning about who I am and correcting the blind spots as they come to light, has had the effect of leaving me blurry at the edges. Like a picture out of focus."
..then you will forget all this self analysis and get back to living....all this blurriness will disappear as the sharp, bright you emerges.
Just as you cant please everyone all of the time, you cannot just say you are "everything" and not "choose who you want to be"...."life" and "time" compells choice and I hope you choose to seek the bright, sharp, focused you.
...in other words:
"Mitti pao - tay aggay challo"
@danyal...
Thanks. I do generally enjoy life and have a good time and am still doing so.... but sometimes we run across a hurdle in the road. Nothing major but a bump nonetheless. And when you get bump after bump after bump in quick succession, with no breaks, that is when tedium begins to set in.
I wrote this in one such moment.
But thanks for the reminder. It helps for someone to point me to the road ahead. I need to sit here a moment longer and then once I have a complete feel for where I am I can move on.
Thanks for dropping by and for your comments. They are always appreciated.
@ahmed pakistani
"...she writes as if she is flying in her dreams and writing simultaneously..."
If one could get in my head once in a while, they would see that that is exactly what I do actually do sometimes. Funny that I have never though about it that way though. A fresh perspective of looking at myself...
thanks for stopping by ahmed.
@hammad pakistani
no try is ever a failure. what you write needs to be meaningful to you only....
we write best when we write for no one but ourselves. we write best when we do not even try to be good writers. we write best when we simply put down on paper th thoughts that are in our heads...
my darling sista
what would I do without your practical stoicism. where you are eager to move, i linger a while....
where you are the fast fix, i probe and wallow,
where you look forward, i look inward,
where you forge ahead, i stand still,
at least in this situation...
i shall emerge from here too...
for now i need to sit and stay and be. To simply BE. My self. to feel what comes, to hear what my inside says, to hold still and nourish my spirit and soul. to turn all attention and focus and energy inward. when i do emerge, it shall be with renewed zest... but for now,
i must be where i be
I think the facets layers angles are part of every person. If one always stays happy as a clam for no apparent reason, I for one would start thinking somethings very wrong there :) We all go through different emotions and its naive to think a person is always happy & upbeat just cause they appear to be so a few tmes. Similarly someone looks down a couple of times we need to have a 2 week history to label them with depression.
In this ripe old age I have come to the conclusion that its impossible to keep everyone satisfied & happy. Try & go for what makes you happy & people who care for you will be happy for you.
Awww ... hugs
shahnaz whats your zodiac sign?
i hope you are well. when is the new post arriving?
I know I use the term real :P but I use it in the context of real versus an idea.
All too often people conjure up an idea of someone, it's then how they see them as, how they feel they should be. It becomes their prism. They even fall in love but with that idea, not with that person. Hence all the other yada yada yada that comes with that.
So when I say real I mean my dear friend is a real person ... one that is blubbering, discombobulated, composed, goofball, risk taker, happy as a clam, "creature" (kidding), depressed, risk averse, and of course sweet, silly goose, memorable, and so very contagious ... She in all her flavors stays just as adorable.
@anonymous
I am a pisces
and new post is here...
@Mo
Darling you are too sweet! Creature khush hua!
Awww ...
And ahem, I'm the fish around here, so, sorry, you can't be pisces :P
But there's always the Ram, the Bull, the Twins, the Crab, the Lion, the Maiden, the Scale, the Scorpion, the Archer, the Water-bearer, and the Sea-goat :PPP
Hello Shahnaz,
The real me....
I I I
am am am
3.14159+
from from from
this other that
space space space
othertimes not.
I think this is our reality.Who are you?Who I'm?The answers may be,I'm Nobody.
Hasina..
@hasina
that was cool... loved it. philosophically..... how do we even know if we "are" maybe we exist only in our heads. maybe all of existence is merely our own creation in our minds...
@Shahnaz
"how do we even know if we "are" maybe we exist only in our heads. maybe all of existence is merely our own creation in our minds..."
Life would've been simpler if we could simply be "I think, therefore I am." After all, technically what is consciousness but a spatial network of neurons, no single one intelligent, but in a cohesive network of millions, sending electrical impulses to each other, they make a Jinnah who would lead a nation, a Mother Teresa who would change lives, a mother who clings to her child, a firefighter who runs into a building when everyone is running out.
At every level, it seems we are not enough unto ourselves. It's almost as if we were built with a flaw, an innate desire to "connect" to others.
But maybe some are able to figure out the mind and the world. I talk of the hermit who overcomes that for the worldly but still seeking a connection perhaps to something else.
I don't believe in this theory, Shahnaz. Besides, if we admit that reality is nothing but a dream, then there must be someone who should sleep and experience this dream. And how can you do it if you don't exist? :)
It is not reality but the perception of self that I was implying here that is dream-like.
The perception of self and others is purely subjective and therefore varies greatly from person to person.
I perceive me as xyz. You perceive me as abc. Am I abc or xyz. Perhaps I am both, perhaps I am neither, perhaps a little of both and yet not. The point is you may not see what I see, but that is not to say that it is not.... and I may be blind to what you see and that is not to say it isn't there...
It is all a matter of perspective and as such who is to say who and what we are? We exist in our perceptions of each other and as such those perceptions emerge from our minds and hence the we live in our minds subjectively speaking...
All of life when taken subjectively is lived through our minds. But is it real?
Then for that matter what is "real"?
What is reality?
What if...?
What do we want?
Who am I?
What am I?
What is real?
And what is reality?
Do we see the same realities?
Or, do we each construct our own
personal experience,
our own interpretation of reality?
And who is experiencing?
What are you?
Your thoughts?
feelings?
memories?
desires?
What is the sense of I
that we know so well
but so hard to define?
Who is it that says,
"I'm not the same person I was ten years ago."
What is it
that is experiencing
this moment
right now,
and now,
and now,
and now.
What do I, You, We
... want... really
A better lifestyle?
More money?
More status?
More recognition?
More time?
More stimulus?
Or, through such circumstances,
Just to feel
more content?
happier?
loved?
more at peace?
The hope of every person is simply peace of mind, is it not?
We have accomplished much
Why aren't we at peace
Have we forgotten
we always have a choice
on how we construct
our perception of reality.
So when things should be blue
Ask yourself
Is there another way of looking at things
What if we chose life
as the most precious opportunity
to discover
and see what we really are
to see that
deep down
we are all the same
the same inner light
seeking peace of mind.
What is real?
..
...
.
....
..
...
.
What is real is now.
And now is nothing but:
an infinitesimal membrane of time
through which the future passes into the past.
Yet now is the only moment we know.
But to be in that moment,
to have our attention be here, now;
not caught up in the past or the future,
not caught up in worry or concern,
to be at peace with what is,
to know that "still center" about which time turns,
Ah, that is our challenge.
So hard,
because
we are so easily
lost in thought.
So easy,
because it is right here, all there really is.
All we need to do is
notice what is
notice what it feels like to be in a body,
the air against the skin,
the touch of an embrace,
a kiss on the cheek,
the sounds around,
the dew under the feet.
Not to label them
and start another train of "not-now"s
But simply experience the sensations, as they are.
You and I, us, we ... here, now, that's real.
...
..
..
....
.
I digress as usual ...
"self" is a social construct. There's no self in the absence of others. If I perceive you as xyz and you think you're abc, it only means that you're as much about being xyz as about being abc. We can't see atoms with the naked eye, but it doesn't mean that they don't exist :)
Hasina..
Guessing and describing oneself is not an easy job. It may take ages and leave one in lurch...
Bulla Shah wrote something really nice. It goes like:
Says Bulla, who knows who I am!
I am not in the mosque of the believer,
Nor in false rites.
I am not in the pure or the impure.
Neither Moses nor Pharaoh.
Says Bulla, who knows who I am!
I am not in the vedas or holy books,
Not in drug or wine.
Not in the drunkards wasted intoxication,
Not in wakefulness or sleep.
Says Bulla, who knows who I am!
I am not in sorrow nor in joy,
Neither in clean nor unclean.
I am not water, I am not earth,
I am not fire, I am not air.
Says Bulla, who knows who I am!
I am not from Arabia or Lahore,
Nor from India or Nagaur.
Neither a hindu or muslim from Peshawar,
Nor do I live in Nadaun.
Says Bulla, who knows who I am!
I cannot be unearthed in the mysteries of religion.
I was not born of Adam and Eve.
I am not the name I assume.
I am not in stillness, not in movement.
Finally, I only know myself.
I cannot know any other.
Who could be wiser than I?
Bulla asks, who then, stands here?
Says Bulla, who knows who I am!
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