creativity

it is a new beginning indeed-

after a restless moment
after the scramble to find your number
after an email
and another and then a third
i remembered who i am
again
i found the one i had lost
like this...
and with that reading came
the outflow of passion
mine by right
divine
supreme
ishq
i remembered
who i am
i remembered why
i remembered
once before i had sent
"teray ishq ki inteha chahta hun..."
i remembered
how i died
in small increments
again and again
as i sat
as i wasted
as i wept
as i begged
in vain
for your love
for a piece of you
for some vindication
and day by day
as it all fell through
a part of me went away too
...
i have not painted since
"fuck you life"
i have not written since valentine
...
and today my friend said to me
i need to learn how to let a man be a man
and another commented
i already know how
i am just struggling to let go
and it dawned on me
just now
no
no
no
i do know how
i did let go
i fell
so hard
and lay in wait
for someone to help me up
and yet
why?
why did i fall

because we must
fall
in the fall is the break down
in the break the undoing
to be
we must first be undone
and so yes
like a world within a world
and self within a self
a soul in depth
in essence
like plato's cave
a reflection of the truth
and truth within a truth
the journey to the light
the source of knowing
and being and self
and soul and truth
therein lies creativity
and yes
i am undone
and thus
i am
found
....