It shines like grace from the heavens above.
Warms my heart, sets free my soul...
Opens me up-
Makes me whole
Fills me up so I can float
As I scatter onward this blessing I behold
The more I have, the more I give
The more I give- the more I get...
'Tis a many splendored thing, this love...
5 comments:
Hi Shahnaz,
I recently came across your blog, you might remember me, I used to be an avid reader of your blog. Its been 2 years since. I once wrote to you when I was feeling very low and you lifted up my spirits telling me to ‘move on’ in your comments section of your blog and that ‘everything will be fine.’ I took your advice back then and how I wish everything had been fine.
I fell hard. I got engaged to someone whom I loved and thought I knew for over 3 years – oh how painful it is to write! – he went abroad and after some time I was forced to go abroad to visit him (I write force because I wouldn’t have done it by my own choice but I had to move to see him or he would have left me). I lost my job, my family who were totally against it, I lost my money and pretty much everything else. The plane was the hardest journey. Still I went leaving everything behind just to see my fiancé… and everything changed with him. He broke off the engagement the very first day that I visited him, sexually assaulted me, called me a whore and fled the country. To this day I am only left with unanswered questions.
I was left broken. Went back to USA, and I tried - unsuccessfully - to kill myself. The closest I went was Coma. I had lost everything Shahnaz, utterly everything including the remaining last drops of dignity, honour, and purity.
It’s not easy explaining my feelings to a counsellor, family, friend. Some feelings don’t have names to it. I am broken, completely dead inside. I feel like a robot.
Its been some time. I sort of lost my voice – I stutter now – think it was because of the shock of the incident, I still take depression tablets (addicted, moreover) and unable to ‘Move On.’
Sometimes a person can take away your life whilst you’re still living. Look at me, I died long ago.
Owe what the beautiful lines i must say..from Shahnaz
He who has this secret known.
He must peep into his own
Lives He in the shrine of peace
Where there are no ups and downs
o just love
Warms my heart, sets free my soul...
o just love,this love
Are u allright there☺
My dear dear broken soul-
Here is my email address should you need more privacy
Shahnaz.khawaja@gmail.com
Inside of you- behind the terror that he left, and underneath the heart that he broke, is YOUR CORE... Within that resides your soul-
Your soul is UNBREAKABLE and INVINCIBLE.
It is a fleck of divinity... Just like a magnet is a fleck of a lodestone-
You come from divinity, your soul is divine/ no mete mortal can rob you of your soul.
Have courage dear heart- cry if you must
Break if you must and then when that is done
Take a breath and go deep within your soul-
You will find when you visit there
WHO YOU ARE!
And NO ONE can take that away from you-
Much love and many blessings-
Hold on tight to whatever you need to, to carry you through the darkness- it does pass... It must! And after darkness comes the dawn-
Hold on just a breath longer and another breath longer... Hold on until your dawn-
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