"Rishtas... " (eek!!)

The term loosely translated from Urdu (the language of Pakistan), means "prospective spouse". It is a term that holds a lot of connotations and power. Dread...(envision a loud tada da daaaaan....a la Beethoven!) for those happily single souls gallivanting their way through life enjoying their unfettered freedom. A flutter of hope and excitement... for those who wish to embrace the shackles of matrimonial bliss. A mission in life...for the untiring and often disgusted with their kids (due to the lack of cooperation regarding the issue!) parents of the said uncooperative brood...(tongue in cheek...hehehe).

The phenomenon has come to be the beast that snaps at my heels as I sprint away, ever mindful that any day now I will be brought down and the headlines will read "......And another one bites the dust!...." My darling mother, a most charming, talented, highly educated, open minded and broad thinking gem of a person, has determined that it is time.............eeekk!

I was cajoled to visit Pakistan last November, and unbeknown-est to me, the trip had one purpose only. The dreaded "set up". Now for all of you out there, nodding their heads in understanding, stop. No seriously....stop! You have no idea. I mean, I am sure you believe you do....but trust me you do not know my mom! I was in Pakistan for nine days....which included the day I landed and the ninth day was the morning I flew out. I was set up. With fifteen guys!

See.....I told you, you had no clue! The chowkidar (gate keeper) at her place must have thought me quite a belle.... for I rode out in style every day, twice a day, in a vast array of BMWs and Mercedes, on my way to lunches and dinners in the company of my prospective beaus. and I say again......eeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkk! I had no clue that this awaited me.

It started off slow. I would be taken to parties, and would find myself nudged in the direction of one particular person, a male of course, of quite decent proportions and eligibility....and then amazingly enough, quite by accident everyone would excuse themselves from "our" little corner and move on to other conversations. Leaving the two of us, very practically, alone.

I am very gullible I must admit. I did not catch on the first time. The second time however, it seemed a little odd and I smelled (a very big) something funny. The third time I was indignant and livid but it made not one whit of a difference. I confronted my mom. Big mistake! She admitted to the whole thing and went about it very openly and in earnest now.

I recall one instance in particular.....I was visiting a friends mom, we shall call her Auntie! Auntie and mom started discussing me. Auntie glanced in my general direction, gave me a once over and said, "She would be perfect for so and so's son.... He lives in America too. Is taller than her. They'd look good together. He would absolutely love her. We have to get them to meet...." (This entire exchange took place not two feet away from me). Completely flabbergasted I retorted with,

"You guys do realize that I am sitting right here...!!! Right???"

They paused briefly, and glanced my way, then without breaking step continued,

"He gets into Islamabad tomorrow"

"Oh good"

"We should have everyone over for dinner"

"Let me host it"

"I'll send Abdul Khansama (my mom's cook) over here to help out.........."

I got up and left. They did not even notice!

I have no clue how I returned from that trip still single and unbetrothed. Miracles do happen! (phew..). Anyway, the point being, I was supposed to be in Pakistan this summer. I had several work related projects lined up that required my presence. Mom called to confirm the dates of my "intended" trip.

"Uh..oh!" thought I......I immediately bought tickets to San Francisco and New York! Back to back trips!

"Ummm mom...I will be in SF and NY for the next two weeks!"

(Lots of annoyance at mom's end.....)

The two weeks pass.... mom calls again.....

"I'm broke mom!" ..... "spent all my travel money."

(Mom calls her travel agent in Pakistan.....and mine in the US!) (I have sitting on my computer, three itineraries! One had me flying out on the 3rd of July, one on the 4th of July, and one has me flying out on the 6th!)

And I say again....

EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just bought a ticket to San Francisco! I am headed out again. After all..... a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.... Right?

More to come.....

Stay tuned!

:)