I did not think I would be affected this much by the blast outside the Marriott. I have spent most of the weekend and today enmeshed in the video and still footage of the aftermath and the blast itself. My stomach is in knots and I have been teary eyed off and on for most of the day.
Human loss and suffering hook me. I cannot simply "get on" with life as usual. There is no such thing as "life as usual". Horrors change us.... in nameless ways. I did, finally, by this evening hear from all of my closest friends and family members. They are Alhamdullilah, all safe.
But I am not. Far from it. I am grieving. For the lost. For the living. For the grieving. For me. I see rozadar folks in the aftermath, carrying bloodied bodies. I see noor on the faces that help. I sit here, and I feel like crap. How can I help. What have I done. Nothing. I am okay.... I sit here at home.... But I have done nothing.... The guilt is overwhelming. Unbearable. Sickening. Torturous.
So I come here to confess.
My people, I feel your pain. I know your suffering. I see your dignity. I know your courage. You are my strength. I look to you. You inspire me. Your patience and your stoicism. Your silent struggle. You uplift me.
I can not do much... but I offer what I can. I offer my prayers. I offer my support. I offer my condolences. I offer words- of hope and encouragement. I offer my heart that mirrors what I see in you. And I see so much.
My brothers and sisters, I see nobility. I see determination. I see resolve. I see you. And you make me whole. Stand by each other. Have faith. Have hope. Evil may strike at us. But Goodness shall prevail.
In this holiest of months, have the ugliest deeds been committed. But only kindness makes a difference. For those who can, spare some time, food, wealth, energy.... whatever you can to help the relief efforts. This is the time to unite to help each other. Volunteer at the hospitals. Give money to relief efforts. Donate blood. Lend an ear to a grieving voice. Console a broken heart.
This is all sadaqat.... Even a kind word and a smile is sadaqat.... In our grief, let us not forget that others are grieving too. Grief shared is grief divided. Strength shared is strength multiplied.
Like a phoenix, from the ashes- let us emerge united and strong and willing and eager to help each other recover, from this loss. From this pain.
Dear friends. Stay strong.
12 comments:
So, don't you have any sympathies for those innocent people who had been killed by the americans recently in Sawat area ?
You cry when urban areas suffer, you don't cry for those innocent people who are being killed by americans as well as by their own army !
Shame on your partial sympathies!
I didn't find a single post on your blog when americans killed the innocent people of Pakistan recently and they violated Pakistan's sovereignty.
I don't justify what has happened in Marriott, but I'm the one who cries when this happens in swat and cries when it happens in my own city.
skhan
in your pain you are angry.... i can understand.
but unless you know what goes on in my head and in my heart you are in no position to criticize what you have no idea about.
people grieve in different ways. i don't judge you... please refrain from judging me. we are both hurting... and because i can feel your pain i understand. if you felt my pain you'd understand me too....
take care friend and may you find peace in this painful time. i hear what you are saying and i understand....
I did mourn too. Remained gloomy the whole weekend. Sad… but being & staying sad doesn’t solve problems.
I guess… we need to be more responsible than banking on government only - as it has already a lot to handle. We need to be extra alert in crowded places and have our eyes open on suspecting things/ personalities. We might not be able to stop this bloodshed but we can avoid massive life loss by staying active and praying to our Lord… Allah.
Hey, a good post. I could feel, as many other Pakistanis can, the pain that we're going through. We have to get involved, through politics or some kind of social work to bring a change.
What happened in Marriot was wrong, but what's happening in Swat is also wrong. America has no right to violate Pakistan's sovereignty.
May Allah help Pakistan in tumultuous times, and may peace and justice prevail in the country.
its an extremely difficult and troubled time for us as nation....
we have not been left with many choices here...but either way we are at loss.
this not the time to blame.... we are all hurting on all the losses...on any and every human , suffering or dying at any hands any where.only that the loss feels too personal where we belong.so shahnaz is right but we dont blame u khan on feeling the same for swat.its just too painful.
this is just not fair but we have to be strong as nation for each other , to find a way out of it.
may Alllah be with us and help us ...ameen
Life goes on, tragedy by tragedy, bliss by bliss, grief by grief and smile by smile.
I know about the strength of my nation and its people. But I wonder how many more crisis can we bear now?
Its a kind of a predicament which makes me horrified.
1... Swat/tribal areas' operation, if you stop it, the so called Taliban start claiming to "conquer" Peshawar, ask the girl schools to be unislamic, Music/barber shops are bombed.etc
2... In contrary, If you carry on with the operation, you are guilty of killing the innocent people in tribal belt. In return, they hit your settled areas with the suiciders.
3... US needs a license to enter Pakistan to make it Iraq. How can we allow this? Tell me
4... Our own govt is playing ruler-ruler game in federal and Punjab assemblies. Where do we go?
5... The worst part of whole scenario: Economy is ditching every day. It can have catastrophic effects to end up into a civil war (GOD FORBID).
And many more things can be added here...
Only prayers will not do it anymore, actions, right or wrong, will define the future course for Pakistan.
May we find peace and stability in Pakistan. Amen
this is not a tragedy of day one, we r facing them evry other day.
even in the holiest month from small hits to the big bangs, we r receiving such accidents regularly with smashed aching souls.
grief & strength is well shared!
i've also started my blog named My Life:
http://abeer-g-a.blogspot.com/
ur comments r most welcome & valuable for me.
i'll love to see ur contribution towards My Life. T.C
I totally agree with Faisal Nadeem, and he has laid out the problem as it is, word by word. Others, you are right too.
Prayers just won't do it, we have to get involved, involved in the politics. It's a big step, and I know many won't do it, but if we don't get involved, then we'll be facing what we currently are: America trying to get a license to enter in Pakistan and turn it into Iraq, like Faisal commented.
What Faisal Nadeem just said is an eye-opener most of our people are not willing to face.
In my opinion,the whole bloodshed isnt just due to the war waged on tribal areas,its more because of the whole mind-set that was developed in the past 7 years.What i'm referring to is that extremist/fundamentalist division that created such great differences between us.These differences have become so great that now even now we're confused that who'll be getting benefit from
all these barbaric acts.
If we are not even united against this terror than how can we even fight this.
And Shahnaaz everytime i read about the Grief for you motherland i see a glimmer of hope.Because it takes a great deal of courage to avert your eyes from greener pastures and face the painful reality of fire and blood.
The greatest damage that can be done to us in these times is that we stop feeling for others and worry just about our own lives!
I dont want to sound flattering or anything but your writing makes Me feel human again.
At Marriott, I noticed a brave man, when I was observing the CCTV video of the vehicle, who had a fire extinguisher in his hands and was trying to confront death by making an eye contact with it.
Like many people, I felt so downfallen for the demise of such a brave man.
But he survived...
Click below to know his story.
He would have been a government acclaimed hero in another country....!!!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/urdu/avconsole/bb_wm_fs.shtml?redirect=fs.shtml&lang=ur&nbram=1&nbwm=1&bbwm=1&bbram=1&ws_pathtostory=http://www.bbc.co.uk/go/wsindex/int/av/urdu/-/urdu/news/avfile/2008/09/&bbcws=1&ws_storyid=080925_marriot_guard_zs
salam to all readers here
i am new to the blog, just read shahnaz's post and evryone's comments on that.
in my opinion, whatever we see today is a reflection of the ills we have done yesterday.
true that we cannot turn back the clock, but we can atleast take corrective actions.
Least to say, to secure our future.
After all, who is to blame for the long-long lasting fuedal system in our society.Its a dilemma that our leaders are chosen on the basis of what stature and party they belong to.
If i agree with the statement "democracy is the best revenge', then be it revenge when we are choosing our leaders in elections.
I believe, it is the duty of every citizen, to actively participate in raising awareness among the masses, rather than just feeling sorry.
Atleast, i believe, by this action, we can choose our future leaders, Leaders with a vision, vision for Pakistan.
Moreover, i think, firstly, there should be a 'Media's trial', wherein, IRRESPONSIBLE media, such as 'Geo News' should be dealt with severly, after all this is the most effective medium that communicates with the mass minds and changes their perception.
A responsible and chanelized, prioritized media can set the stage for the change, where we propogate peace for all muslims.
Here, i would request all those who could play any role in this media awareness campaign, be it at any level, even if we manage to change the mindset of a few, we could create a domino effect.
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