I am just so heartsick over the blast in front of the Marriott in Islamabad. I have no words to speak. What is there to say. It hurts. My friends and family go there often. My mother was telling me the night before that she was taking a friend out there for iftar. My heart just stopped for a moment when I heard....
I know that place well. I was married at that place at 19. I used to go swimming in their pool since I was 14. Countless memories, countless times. I stayed there when I went home to visit. I loved their breakfast buffet. The staff knew me by my first name. The front desk managers and the bellmen... even the drivers who picked me up from the airport. I feel so stunned. To see the shattered profile of a place that is a staple of my memory of back home. THE MARRIOTT- ISLAMABAD I love that place. It is like home to me. And now... And now I see the burning husk of it on my screen. And now I see injured and dead bodies- covered in blood being carried out. I see broken bodies carried out like rag dolls... I cannot breathe. That could have been my friends. That could have been my family. I am relieved that it is not. And immediately after my relief I am guilty. I am guilty because out there...for someone... that is their friends. That is their family.... I feel like I am going to be sick.
It wasn't my personal loss- but how could it not be. Every loss is a personal loss. And one person's personal loss is every person's personal loss.
The gaping hole left by the bomb is the gaping hole in my heart and my soul.
I hurt.
11 comments:
I wish there was a way to stop this. I don't think there is.
i thought of writing something for what happened today, for how i saw the hotel blazing with fire on my tv screen and felt my heart sink yet again...and thought of the time i have been there around 2 years ago
i have no idea or words to be able to say anything more
its not even guilt this time though i remember having felt guilty when bombs struck lahore earlier this year...guilt that i am safe given that i was near proximity...its nothing this time..perhaps just disgust..
I lived in Islamabad for more than five beautiful years of my life, before coming to EU for my studies, and I have been to Marriat a few times.
I always told to my friends that Marriat is a dipiction of our traditions and culture to the westerners.
Here I am, dumbfound and perplexed!!!! 1000 KG of death, inflicted on the innocent. Where is the humanity? I don't have words.
Once a US diplomat said about Islamabad, "half the size of the New York cemetery and twice as dead".
Who is killing who, I don't know, but the size of Islambad's cemetry is closing on NY's, while its silence is disturbed by the violent blowups.
I can feel the heat of the flames of the inferno thousands Kilometers away.
May humanity prevail.
I request you all to please have a moment of silence and pray for all the people who lost their lives.
That could have been my friends. That could have been my family. I am relieved that it is not. And immediately after my relief I am guilty. I am guilty because out there...for someone... that is their friends. That is their family.... I feel like I am going to be sick.
Thats exactly what is happening with us,with me.
I wish i could write something,something more to calm the grief coarsing through every Pakistani's blood but words fail at some point,and that point has long been crossed.
Its very unfortunate that it happened in our country one more time and even on a larger scale. Government is at wits end. May Allah save all of us and our motherland! Aamin
its all just too painful....to the extent to numb my mind completely.
saw the cctv video released showing poor security guards trying to extingush fire just moments before the r exploded to pieces...
and we call ourselves human.
I am gut wrenched as well...couldn't get myself to write anything, just had the energy to confirm all my lot were safe...so selfish...so inhuman...where we're headed, I don't know, and perhaps I don't want to know.
I used to work in the building next door to the Mariott (Evacuee Trust Complex) and after work we'd hang out at the place every night...the ghazal nights, the iftaars, the hospitality...the weddings...all burning in flames!
what can I say? nothing to say except feeling sad for everyones loss. Feeling your hurt with you babe.
an extra big squeezy hug
x
:( That All Hurts
Unforgetable Pain, Irrepairable loses,
Hits the Soul Deep Inside!
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