i feel ambivalent
weather is great
time ticks on
tide holds sway
i breeze through the day
in a haze
of yesterday
and today
wisp of memory
gust of now
scent of tomorrow
lingers somehow
(how can the future linger)
but it does
the red tie
is reborn
and so
i learn
to float away
like a dream
within a dream
"i do not fear storms...
for i am learning to sail a ship!"
(Louisa May Alcott)
4 comments:
Shahnaz, help,
Just wondering if you can help me. One of my posts to you was how my ex best friend cheated on me with my husband and how I am so torn apart and broken....and how I lost evrything.
Well, I tried everything to repair my broken heart. i tried to get a closure from them both but hard since them both (are still living together) and so i tried to make amends and a 'fresh start' with my ex best friend by giving her flowers. We went out for coffee, the day was great. Next day, I realised she lied to me twice on that day which provokes me into thinking that the entire thing was a lie....
Cut it short - today, in the high street shops, I called her outside, I had a bag full of our childhood memories, i threw it on the floor and in the trash, she tried to walk away so i grabbed her arm and threw our childhood photos in her face saying 'some friend you are'. She slapped me, I threw her against the wall and called her a bitch and walked off leaving her to pick up the photos from the floor and calling someone on the phone (supposedly my ex husband or her exisiting partner...!!) Did I do the right thing...??
@ Anonymous,
I do not know if I should give my opinion on your matter as you asked shanaz jee to help you but I thought I might just tell you what I think.
Here's what I think you should have done. When you know what ex best friend and your husband did to you then there was NO POINT on sending her flowers in the first place? How could you do that? After the pain you endured because of her and your husband?
You are making them think that you cannot live without them which is making them that much happy about it!
Girl you have GOT TO show or maybe pretend that you are better off without them! You have to show that you are HAPPY without them and that you DO NOT NEED THEM :D
If you keep on crying over it then how can you make them feel bad?
It gives them satisfaction and happiness that you are in pain.
You never know that they might be making fun of you? PLEASE forget them and move on.
Just don't ever contact with both of them. You will find better friends then her who was a disgrace to be called a friend.
You will find someone loyal to you than your husband.
If you want them to feel bad then show them you are happy and better off which will make them uneasy and unhappy :)
--Little miss hope
my dear girl...
i am soooo sorry for your pain.
it hurts. i know. and people in love do many things. and people in pain do many more...
forgive.... for yourself...
don't second guess what you have already done- it is done and when you did it, it seemed like the right thing for you to do and that is that.
this time will pass...
this pain will lessen to a dull ache...
life will bloom again.
what was done to you was the worst kind of betrayal.
but hear my words-
forgive them- not because what they did was okay. but because if you hold on to anger it will hold you captive and you will become a slave to that pain and their memory for causing you that pain. you are giving them too much power in your head. they do not deserve it.
gently tell your mind to "stop" every time a thought comes to mind regarding that memory. replace it with a positive thought filled with you and life and joy. in time that unhappy memory will become extinct...
live for now. in today. but before that you must grieve...
so take some time to grieve over the loss of a life that you had planned with the man. and take the time to grieve the loss of trust and friendship. cry it out. sob it out. pour it all out. and when the tears are gone and nothing remains but a lonely peace dig a little hole somewhere and bury it all deep. then get up and renewed- move on... and step into the light and the life... of today and now.
the rest of your life awaits you.
decide what day will be the first day of that life. grieve until then and on that day, step out reborn and move on my dear...
i wish you a bounty of love- and hope that you will learn that the only person who can love you like you deserve to be loved is YOU!
i shall post a song for you...
I am also passing by a kind of similar situation and i found your advice very helpful.Atleast it gives hope to move on and live your life instead mourn over betrayal..may ALLAH bless you and every person..Ameen
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