what is it?
where does it come from?
where does it go?
what makes you fall in?
what makes you fall out?
what makes you remember?
what makes you forget?
been there
done that
and i still don't know.
when it starts
everything is perfect
until...
you get to the point where
it just hurts
and all you can do
is run-
you run
to hold on-
to push away-
to get away-
to catch up-
you have it
and you forget how good you have it
the taking is for granted
all you see is the bumps
the annoyances
you fight it
you get rid of it
you get angry
and then one day
the anger subsides
and then...
and then
memory kicks in
and you remember
what you had forgotten
that,
you love...
l-o-v-e
you have it
you lose it
funny thing is,
when you lose it
you don't even remember why?
why it got that way...
why it went bad
when you go back in your head
all that is left is the love
and it makes no sense why it went bad
you look at the person
they still annoy you
the bumps are still visible
and yet
you still love
can't help who you love
can't help why you love
you just love
10 comments:
it's in human nature for two people to love each other-- to feel that special compassion for each other, and to wish for each others' welfare every little second, but is it perfect from the get go? I dunno-- I don't really believe in one love, but what you are talking about is perhaps, the length of time spent together, the number of molecules fraught with the same memories-- what the body remembers, the body may learn to forget one day.
what a truly mathematically analytic response- or should i say engineering minded response!
I'm sorry if the response seemed harsh and mechanical. I neither think it's mathematical or engineering minded. Rather it is very much about the combination of body, mind and spirit unlike the usual dichotomies people create. What I'm talking about is that emotions lie not only in our minds but also in the very molecules of our bodies. I find this idea quite fascinating and beautiful. I haven't finished reading the book I was refering to: "Molecules of Emotion" by Candace B. Pert. I think that sadness or certain emotions goes so much deeper than just the mind. It is not just our repetitive thoughts to preserve or try to forget certain memories because the body also remembers.
If anything I believe in a person's ability to heal themselves in terms of both emotional and physical well-being.
I only gave my personal opinion about love. I do not believe in the idea that is fed us to believe in only one true love. I believe that love is much more vast-- we can fall in love with different people at different stages of our lives. If anything that's what I have learnt living the western society-- of course, I hate when people go rebound, but one must not let perish that ability to love and what is love but that special compassion for a special person.
Just to let you know, I studied literature and not mathematics or engineering. The above-mentioned book was recommended me by a seventeenth century literature professor who also taught John Donne's marvelously romantic and beautiful poetry.
I hope I haven't offended you too much. I only said all this to help you. I understand I have come off as judgmental but I thought giving an external perspective may be of help. Please forgive my naivete. I realize I should not comment on something I don't have much understanding of.
You are a truly admirable person. I will never stop admiring you because I don't think that there are many people who are as bold and passionate as you are-- and it takes a lot to love the way you have.
I may be stupid and not able to say the right thing(s) to strike the right chord but my intentions are altruistic.
au contraire monsieur!
i really enjoyed your response- give me a name at least to go bye.
and visit and comment often. you intrigue me!
thanks for stopping by and for your comment.
I agree with "anonymous"
I believe that a person can fall in love many times and with different people.
The more you think about forgetting something, the more it haunts you back :( that is the reality.
Of course, there are a few things that you want to remember for the rest of your life. There are those precious moments in your life that you want to save them in your memory forever.
Sometimes you have to just let go of everything that have.
Sometimes you just have to leave everything behind and not look back.
Sometimes you have to make yourself decide who you want to love and who you hate the most.
Try to hate something that once you loved with all your heart. Try it and it will work.
Hate is the other side of love. Memory is the worst thing ever! It is never welcomed in times when you're sad and need comfort if it hurts. But it just comes without a warning and leave you with nothing but tears *sigh* warning.
Perhaps, think about the negative aspects of their personality that will disgust you to even think about them :)
Keep smiling :) There is always one thing that keeps you moving on and it is "hope"
The time will come when you will not think about the pain you have endured. Everything will be perfect again.
You will be happy again. Do not waste your time on thinking about someone who doesn't even deserve your 1 minute.
--Little miss hope
I agree with anonymous two although that means i agree with anonymous 1 too...!! Lol..
But when you love someone, you can neither forget or forgive thm if they truly hurt you. I tried and i LOST everything - my home, my husband, my best friend along the way and although i am trying to move on, my memories haunt me and it just it. Life just is. Just hang onto it. These people in this world are friggin nothing. Just a journey and mere acquaintances. Nothing else.
I agree with anonymous two although that means i agree with anonymous 1 too...!! Lol..
But when you love someone, you can neither forget or forgive thm if they truly hurt you. I tried and i LOST everything - my home, my husband, my best friend along the way and although i am trying to move on, my memories haunt me and it just it. Life just is. Just hang onto it. These people in this world are friggin nothing. Just a journey and mere acquaintances. Nothing else.
Shahnaz, thank you for your kindness my desperate attempt to seek redemption.
I will keep writing :)
In response to the last comment, it is your life that you cannot possibly waste away in bitterness towards what went wrong.
You may lose things in life, but as long as you have your spirit you have everything!
@ anonymous # 3
you see it is even easier for you to forget everything and move on as you already know that it wasn't your fault and you are lucky that you are no longer in that misery.
You know what is the best way to forget everything? Share everything that is inside you with Allah. I swear you will feel much much better after that.
There are a few things that you do not want to share with anyone but yourself. You do not feel comfortable sharing these things with anyone but you want to cry on someone's shoulder and share those things. Well why not share all these things with Allah?
I myself do that and it works. There was a time in my life that I thought I could not get over it. I was in pain. I didn't know when the day started and when it was night. I was disconnected from the world but then my mom told me to pray instead of crying over it and wasting time. And I did that. I love my mom for telling me and guiding me.
I hope you will be happy again. I hope you will get over it. But just believe in yourself.
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