So I am stuck in the middle-
Cleaning up my inbox and I run into all these messages and emails and it is just so painful to read through fights and love and loss and yearning. I have sat here and broken down in tears as I read some of them. When it is gone it is gone...And I know...But what does one do with it all?
And I want to say to myself,
"just let go shahnaz..."
But that is easier said than done. How does one just let go? How do you delete time? How do you erase a smile, a touch and feeling? What do you do with words no longer meaningful? Where do you put them? Is there a place that it can all go to? All the words, time, things, music, thoughts....? Where do you put it all?
6 comments:
I was gonna clear up my emails, facebook etc tomorrow (had it all planned) but then im like, let me ask shahnaz, the counseller, a few questions.. But your words are mine. Is there anything to it rather than letting go...??
Please tell me shahnaz:
1: Can one love sustain a person for a lifetime or is it like a drug we need so badly?
2. If you hurt someone through words, how can you really FEEL guilty when u have a hard heart?
3. Why do people hurt the ones they love? And when they say 'never' and 'forever' in the right places, what does it mean in the end when u just have to 'let go'?
4. What if you lose the right one and never get him back? what then? and how can you STOP them from moving on because the pain is plain torturous...??
5. shall i keep the emails, text messages, the dates and times of every email and message from every ex - one cheated and left, the other simply left, and one i belived was true love but i had to let go - which ones are worth keeping? Does it matter? Will it mean anything to me if i hold on to it? Or again is it like a drug, i have to hold on to...??
5. And my last question. I have a strong fear of being alone. I see family and friends all around me going on honeymoons, being happy and fulfilling their dreams. What if im alone for the rest of my life?
Do you feel how I feel Shahnaz??
I was gonna clear up my emails, facebook etc tomorrow (had it all planned) but then im like, let me ask shahnaz, the counseller, a few questions.. But your words are mine. Is there anything to it rather than letting go...??
Please tell me shahnaz:
1: Can one love sustain a person for a lifetime or is it like a drug we need so badly?
2. If you hurt someone through words, how can you really FEEL guilty when u have a hard heart?
3. Why do people hurt the ones they love? And when they say 'never' and 'forever' in the right places, what does it mean in the end when u just have to 'let go'?
4. What if you lose the right one and never get him back? what then? and how can you STOP them from moving on because the pain is plain torturous...??
5. shall i keep the emails, text messages, the dates and times of every email and message from every ex - one cheated and left, the other simply left, and one i belived was true love but i had to let go - which ones are worth keeping? Does it matter? Will it mean anything to me if i hold on to it? Or again is it like a drug, i have to hold on to...??
5. And my last question. I have a strong fear of being alone. I see family and friends all around me going on honeymoons, being happy and fulfilling their dreams. What if im alone for the rest of my life?
Do you feel how I feel Shahnaz??
When u have the answer to ure questions, i beg you to tell me too? I really really beg you Shahnaz. Im desperate for those answers. You'll tell me wont you? :'( I just wanna cry and 'never let go'
Sad to say Shahnaz, but it seems that know one can let go of past loves and losses. It becomes a burden and eats are soul like a little gremlin. We try and try and still always, we end with only a broken heart to show for it. And like always, it's harder to do it all over again. But fortunately, for most, there are the people who care about us very much and do what they can to try and make us feel heartfilled and hopefull in someway or another. It's unfortunate when we ignore and begin to hurt the people who care for us the most, and our past will always reflect in our personal lifes. So my point being, we do what we can to make ourselves stronger, but the flaw in this is that we always tend to hurt the people close to us that are trying to help us move on. Humans are so self involved that we can't ever see whats in front of us, and since I am human, I also am prone to this. I'm sorry for ever being manipulative and irrational, and sorry if it seems my intentions are the same right now, but surprisingly they are far from it But it's still something I myself need to change. Although we can't change the past we always have a choice to make our future. Take care and lots of hugs...
God, grant us the...
Serenity to accept things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the
Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.
Post a Comment