Compassion-Forgiveness-Ownership-Understanding and...

Compassion-
It has much to do with passion and acceptance and kindness and yes, also self awareness-

I have a ten year old daughter.
I once went to a conference...and had to hear a man speak and this man was a child molester. He had solicited minors for sex. He was arrested, lost it all- family, daughters, wife, job, status, reputation...all-

Before he even stepped in to the room to talk, I despised him. I dehumanized him. I did not like him and I was sure of that. People like him were the scum of the earth I had decided.

And then he spoke-
I listened, deaf to everything that he said except for my distaste and my bias. I viewed him as if he was undeserving of everything in life.

And he continued to speak-
And slowly his humanity emerged. He spoke of life and loss and hurt and pain. He spoke of sadness. He spoke of mistakes. He spoke of human nature and he spoke of vice and weakness. And he accepted it all. He took responsibility for everything he had done. He owned all of himself. The good and the bad.

And as he spoke-
I noticed something in me crack and break. I felt the sting of tears. I felt the shame of my hubris- my judgement. I saw him for the first time, a human, a person, fallible, wrong yes- but a person! And I was deeply moved and ashamed. He was a man. He was a person- like me. A parent- like me. He made mistakes- like me. He had been wrong- who has not been wrong?

"Let him who is free of all sin cast the first stone..."

Who was I to judge? On what high horse did I sit? From where came my sense of superiority and arrogance? And yes, I was ashamed-

At the end of his lecture, I stood in line to shake his hand. I needed to touch him. Feel the skin and flesh and the warmth of this man, who was at the end of the day, just a man. And I shook his hand. I looked him in the eye. And I said simply, "Thank you- for everything that I have learned today". And then I stated, simply, "Forgive me." And I left and walked away... A compassionate human again...


Forgiveness-
I knew a man once and he wronged me greatly. And he never owned up to his indiscretions. I knew many men who have wronged me. And I have forgiven- I was lied to, cheated on, emotionally manipulated and yes I forgave-
I am blessed for forgiveness that lives in my heart...

Ownership-
I am flawed. I am fallible. I am human. I am selfish. I am not the best listener. I am hard headed and I am stubborn. And many, many, many more- I have made mistakes. They have always been choices. I have known what I was doing and I have chosen- I think of one choice in particular...Would I make the same one again- In a heartbeat! It brought me to my cross-roads. I see clearly now-

I know what I did-
I know I chose to do it-
And finally- I understand the reason why...
And the WHY is quite insightful-
I know now
I understand
I accept
And there is such a sense of relief that washes over me

Dragon slayer
Swung in vain
Went to slay the dragon
But the dragon was already slain...

All that was left was a swipe
Out of spite
And even in that I have understanding, acceptance and yes surprisingly- peace...

As the last of the shackles and chains fall of-
I am tethered no more to the earth
I take flight- aimless for a while
I cried, hurt and bitter
For a while
And then I stopped
And I picked a road
I am
At the cross roads no more
And I did it all just now as I wrote
It comes to me

Understanding-
I am-
It is-
And all is as it should be-
And I understand...

And then-
I float